Well, I'm on day 15 of NC although she has just emailed me, mainly about money she owed, but dropped in some personal stuff too about her life (nothing malicious). It is very difficult but I suppose me being stubborn helps! It is almost overwhelming at times just to gush out everything in my head but I know it won't do me any favours and i'm sure that she no longer loves me. I previously made it clear I was there for her and I meant it, but I won't be a lap dog either. I just don't want to feed her ego. I'm normally very verbose so i'm sure there will be curiosity about how it's even possible for me to maintain no contact (she's still a Facebook friend but we don't speak directly at all). I am finding myself dropping into jealousy tactics though and i'm not sure why, well I am, but i'm doing it anyway. I'm still angry, I guess. Probably just to make her see my life is going on. I'm off on quite an exciting work trip soon and as it happens I have a few female friends who have posted they want to meet on FB while on the trip which she will see. Childish? Possibly but I feel it gives me power back and yes, it is good for my ego and I don't care if it gets her mind whirring. You've got to take the power back and do whatever is necessary to pull yourself through while maintaining dignity.
