serenity93

This is my first post ever and I just want to say these stories have been amazing with helping me cope with what just recently happened to me. I agree with everyone who says that moving on and bettering yourself is crucial if you want to reconcile with someone and that having a little hope isn't something bad. I'm now trying to work on moving on with my life and also doing NC although it will be hard later on because I have a lot of mutual friends with the guy I was with. I think I might share my story because I'll never know what will happen, and maybe a few years down the track I can come back with my own reconciliation story. I'm not saying that it'll happen for sure, but if it doesn't happen, I know for one I won't be upset about. I'm a couple of days short of being 19 hence why I say I don't know what will happen in future. Anyway, I met this guy at university through a mutual friend, I didn't really think much of him other than I thought he was attractive. Move forward 2 or so weeks, we began talking through a uni group on Facebook and I decided to add him. From then on we talked pretty much everyday, we had a lot in common. I loved talking to him and he was generally just a really great guy. Eventually we decided to go to the bar at my uni with a group of mutual friends, I drank a little too much and ended up confessing to him and he confessed to me as well. He had mentioned to me that he was afraid of getting into a relationship because his first girlfriend cheated on him and his second girlfriend left him for another guy and both situations left him pretty traumatised I assume. I completely understood and said I would wait, which I know was a big mistake on my part because in the end I ended up getting hurt. So from then on we decided we'd take things slow, just casually dating, not putting a label on the relationship etc. A month in he tells me he has strong feelings for me and really wanted to see where things go because he saw that I was one of a kind etc. He started inviting me to go on weekend getaways and overnight stays that I couldn't attend because my parents are quite strict. Anyway, I was pretty content with how things were going and they were going fine for about another month until he started to become distant and whatnot. By this point, I was already head over heels for him, I truly saw him as someone I would want to spend my life with. I noticed immediately that things were changing and we mutually decided to talk about 'us'. So he pretty much tells me that at this point he wasn't ready for something serious. He mentioned that he knew that if we were to officially start dating that it would be for the long run and that he'd probably end up proposing to me sometime along the years. But it just wasn't something he wanted now as he was still afraid of full on commitment and it was really just bad timing. He wanted to experience being young and date other people, grass may be greener on the other side etc. He mentioned he still wants me in his life but I can't be friends with someone I fell in love with. I actually felt like a bit of a doormat and I probably am but I did state what I wanted but I didn't try to convince him to try with me. I let him go because I saw his reasons as reasonable. After thinking about it now, it was probably for the best that things ended the way they did, he was being considerate about my feelings and not wanting to hurt me were something to occur in the relationship because he was too afraid to commit. Anyway, as I said, I'm doing NC but I'm not doing it with the intention of him waking up, realising he wants me etc It's better for my emotional and physical healing for things to be that way. I'm going to use this time I have to better myself as a woman, create myself, date other people and experience new things. I'm still young so I think there's plenty of opportunity out there for me. It's just a little sad that I can't be with him now as I feel that my intuition is telling me that he's the one for me. Even if we don't end up being together in the future, I know I will be content with just being his friend down the track. I'm working into trying to get into the mindset that it won't happen but as many of you stated, it doesn't hurt to have a little hope right?