wchollin

First of thank you for your attention on this matter, I have just become a lone officer with a mortgage company ad my training has mainly been processing a purchase ile and gathering information to submit to a lender. So I havent received any type of bdgeting classes or anythin on that matter.

Ididnt gamble or give the money away. I was careless and because I changed jobs, it left me with only the income from me to be-00.00. I am a loan officer now that works strictly on commission. so I got a couple of payday loans to go into the account to help out till this loan closed I have been working on. but because I didnt tell him and when he found out at first I denied it. then I told him later in the day. so he felt again I was betraying his trust. He is really a good man. The loans are in his name but I was going to put my comission check in the account to get rid of them. I am just a person that I guess will always have to treated like a child, because I have no self control, and I dont know why. wendy

I have been married for 33 years to a man that has been faithful, hard working. He's not romantic at all, even when he trys. I have never been taught to manage money, never was allowed to get a job when i was a teenager. Charlie has always been a good provider. I feel like i try hard to manage money responsibly then all of a sudden i got stupid and our finances suffer. I have suffered from depression for may years and i stuggle everyday to not give in to it. I feel i need help but in which direction? I seem to be a failure in everything and i dont know how long i can hang on. Charlie has threatened to leave me and he says he loves me but he cant trust me. For some reason i am afraid to be honest with him about our finances. Then it all blows up. I know its my fault but i get on the defensive side when he questions me. I dont want to loose him but it looks like this time i might. We have no children at home, but we have 8 grandchildren. And this week things have really been bad. We had a friend that commited a murder and then killed her self. We just couldnt believe she would that. Then i found out that my son ( married w/ 5 children is back on drugs ( meth ). Its like everything around me is falling apart. Should i just let charlie go? At least he can go forward with out me holding him back. Should i go ahead and file for divorce? That breaks my heart just thinking about it. I am a mess, right? Thank you wendy