midnightdeirdre

Ok, I'd say you're very wrong on many statements. He and I were friendly in high school and knew each other. We've been texting almost every day since 2019. We've sent each other videos, texts, have facetimed, and talked on the phone. He's not married or has a gf. Believe me, if he did I would not be communicating with him at all. We're both consensual adults who agreed to meet up. How is that not respecting myself? I understood the situation and what was going to happen and why.

The lies were that I told them I got dinner at Dairy Queen. Mom even asked what I ordered, I lied and said chicken tenders. I did ask if they wanted ice cream; I brought home dad one. 🍦 I actually have a friend who once said to me, "You shouldn't feel the need to justify yourself all the time." I try to remember that, lol.

This all reminds me of an incident when I was 17 (a junior in high school): Long story short, I was at the homecoming dance one night. I met a sophomore named Bob there; he and I snuck out of the dance and made-out behind a trailer that was parked next to the cafeteria. (At one point, my legs were around his waist.) When a cop car drove by we ran back to the dance entrance; the cop ended up asking me who I was, how old I was, Bob's name and age. I eventually said, "Please forgive me" to which the cop responded, "I'm not your parents. You can go now." (Lol was he right or was he just trying to make me feel bad? I mean I told him we were just kissing, which we were.) When I told this story to a counselor when I was 28 she said, "It would be none of his business at this age." ⬅️ I get a sense this is what you're all trying to tell me, lol. I thank you all for that. ❤️

I did text with him the whole time, when I had the chance.

As I've said, I wanted it too. (So how come no one is saying that I disrespected him?) And hey, I'll admit I kept him waiting for awhile...it really would've taken 20 minutes to get there but I was nervous and subconsciously took longer than I needed, like 45 minutes. (Got gas for my car, drove slower than I usually do, etc.)

I wanted it too. I just feel bad I didn't tell my parents the whole truth about what I was truly doing that night.

We have been talking everyday since 2019. He had a basketball game so I knew it was going to be quick.

I feel I definitely want to do this. But again, if she asks, "Really? All you did was kiss?" What should I say? Maybe: "That's super-personal, mom. I won't get into that. And besides, I'm not seeing him again." I don't think I'll sign up with any online dating sites, either. Temple Grandin is autistic also and she said she made her mind 'to never get married or have kids. Those types of relationships are just too complicated.' Meeting with Tom made me realize that also. I was never very lucky in the love department, and it looks like there's a good reason why. (I'll tell this to my mom also, I think. Agree?)

Tom didn't disrespect me.

I'm tempted to tell my mom in a text, "I've had time to think it over, and I want to tell you now: The night I got dad Dairy Queen, I met up with for a quick date with my guy friend Tom. He had a basketball game at the Starland next door. I admit we smooched a bit before he went in. It was fun but kind of awkward. I didn't tell you that night because it was such a quick thing because of his game. I don't think we'll meet again anyway." Thing is, if my mom asks, "All you did was smooch? Really?" then I'm screwed. What should I say then? Ami suggested, "I don't feel comfortable talking about that. Besides, I've decided no more dates until next year when I have money saved up. Then I'll join some dating sites."

lol yes it definitely took awhile to find time to meet. He's very busy with reffing and playing basketball, and he has a 16 year old son.

I have the Kyleena IUD.

I've talked about this on other forums; I went through a tough time my senior year of high school and thinking about Tom helped me get through it. I always wanted to tell him. The other night was awkward so I didn't. I've asked if he wants to meet up once more for a better time.

Lol, 10 years ago I remember my dad said to me, "Deirdre, you're 28 years old. You don't need our permission to go out." And yes, I have been texting with Tom.

Not being honest with my parents.

I met up with my guy friend (Tom) who I've been talking to since 2019. I've been wanting to tell him how he helped me get through a tough time in high school. Long story short, I finally met up with him after work. He had a basketball game at an auditorium, so we parked behind there. We kissed a little bit and tried to make love in his car. The condom burned me badly, so obviously it wasn't very pleasurable. We got out, kissed, and he went into the auditorium. (Yes we did talk a little bit about meeting up again and whatnot.) I didn't have time to tell him about how he helped me get through the tough time in high school, we were just too rushed. Next to the gymnasium is a Dairy Queen. I told my parents I would get dinner there and bring home ice cream. Of course, I didn't get dinner but I did get dad the ice cream he wanted. When I got home mom asked what I got for dinner; I lied and said chicken tenders. Naturally I feel bad that I haven't mentioned Tom. I got so emotional at work the next day that I started crying. I talked it over with my supervisor, Ami. She was very sweet and said that I should say to my mom, "I've had time to think if over, and I want to let you know that I met with my guy friend Tom that night I went to Dairy Queen. He had a basketball game next door and we smooched a bit in his car before he went in." At the same time, a large part of me feels I don't have to tell her. (I mean I'm almost 40.) But I'm autistic and my parents are my best friends. They are both retired and she has constantly said "Dad and I aren't going to be around forever." They do have a will and half of everything goes to my sister and I. I'm thinking I should tell my mom what Ami said, and then maybe give up on dating and meeting up with Tom altogether. (I'll tell her that also.) I'll just tell Tom that he helped me get through a tough time in a text. I do get teary-eyed thinking about all of this...not telling my parents the whole truth, them passing away eventually...I just want to be sure I have parents approval, especially my mom's. I can't imagine them not in my life. Please help. ❤️

Perhaps some of you recall a guy I dated in 2017-2018. He was divorced with 2 children. We weren't a couple for too long; just a few months. We kept it secret at first, and then we were planning to tell people once we had settled. I admit, I did lie to my parents about where he and I really were a few times. I said we were going out to dinner and then a movie. (Instead of a movie we snuck out to a secluded area to watch a DVD in his car and then make love.) We timed it perfectly so I'd get home without my parents suspecting anything. It worked every time.

Lol no. Never been. He is single.

Bottom line: I’d say he and I are/would be friends-with-benefits. Enough said.

A boyfriend/husband for me wouldn’t just be a partner. He would also have to be my mentor. 🧩

As I said, it’s tough to describe how I feel without sounding like I’m contradicting myself. Please re-read my statement about that earlier.

If looking at Picasso’s artwork helped get you through a tough time, would you want to thank him?

No not at all. I just want to finally connect with him physically in the way we both obviously want.

Tom knows I have this personal thing to tell him. He knows for certain it is deep/emotional and I have even warned him I may get teary-eyed. He said if that happens he will understand.

Men taking time on their looks is a lost art. (To put it mildly.) Call me shallow if you want. But I love it when men take time and pride on their appearance. (Case in point: looking at Tom’s handsome face cheered me up my senior year.)