stupefied

Guys: I screwed up....I called, she hung up. Dazed!!!!!!!

infaith - always good to hear from you! Thanks to all of you for responding. I can't help but have hope. Not expecting to get back w/ ex, just get some clarity on what happened - closure. (I will forgive, but never forget how she tried me) Like I stated before, this is the best I've felt in months, and it wasn't a lengthy conversation. I'm glad i spoke to my ex yesterday. It did give me hope, and also enabled me to finally have a decent nights sleep. I'm tired of feeling terrible. Clinging to the hope that she doesn't hate me and that we are working towards SOMETHING make me feel sooooo much better...can't be clear on what exactly i mean. Now all I have to contend with is the wait. I don't want to make foolish mistakes, but I've decided to do whatever it takes for me to feel better.....NO MORE PAIN!

It didn't go as terrible as I thought. The ole ex was at work when i called on cell phone. Conversation was short, yet civil. Went like this: me: I have mail for you ex: Kinda busy right, now me: what your new address and I'll send it thru mail ex: can i talk to you later.. me: ok, bye ? should i wait for a call? if ex doesn't call soon, should i call back? I didn't get the closure, but at least it was civil. I think I should give it time...mail not real important, just junk...an excuse for me to call. I feel good that ex is not hostile...I think it's a start to both healing and moving on for us both. any thoughts?

thanks......... I think I'll go for it. What do I have to lose. If my ex still refuses to talk (hangs up) I'll accept that. I wont try again. I can't keep putting myself thru this. It's not even that I want to get back together, it's been 2.5 mos now. I just don't want to feel miserable and sick everyday. I want to be happy again. I'll let you know how it goes....wish me luck. Polite

There has been no closure, because there has been no communication-not by my choice of course. I just have so many questions (which i was constantly told i ask too many of) I think if i try to contact my ex now, it may be too soon and make things worst. But what's there to lose. Things will never be the same.

yea, thanks guys.... but as much as i know you are right, it's like i need some type of contact with my ex..whether it be a tear-jerking conversation or a knock-down, drag out fight.....anything is better than nothing. i think. i know i sound silly, but i can't help it.

I hand delivered a letter last friday to my ex and have yet to receive a response...call me crazy, but yes I did actually expect to. Now I'm fighting the urge to call and say WTF! - did you not read what I had to say? Did it not move you to want to at least talk about things? (apparently not) - which pisses me off. Dayum, I feel so weak! Help me be strong. Dunno if I can do it alone. Polite

Slypknot: Thanks for understanding. I do realize that I am a "fixer", and I do think I seek out those in need. Try as I might, I can't seem to break the habit. Although, I thought this relationship was different, or maybe I just wanted it to be so bad that I didn't pay close enough attention to the signs. I know I need to sever all ties with this person, but I find it so extremely hard to do. I've even resorted to callin' and hanging up, driving by the job, etc. Juvenile I admit, yet I think in some strange way it helps. I also realize that I need to focus on my, but I can't imagine moving on and being happy w/o them. I just don't understand what they are thinking. What did I do that was so terrible? How could they be so cruel? I know their behavior was unacceptable, but I honestly look forward to the day we see eachother again. Crazy? Again, thanks for the kind words.

Hello everyone: 1st time doing this, bear with me. I haven't heard from my ex in 2 mos. We have known eachother for 2.5 years and together about a year (we got together right before they went to jail for a year). They were releases in January of this year and came to live with me. In April I helped them get their own place...gain their own independence for the first time. July 14, out of the blue, they tell me to never call again, they are dating a girl, and that if I came to their home, they would hurt me. I don't understand...we loved eachother so much, we shared so much. I tried calling, but get ignored or yelled at. Last Friday I wrote a letter and hand delivered it. No response. Now I'm angry and hurt all at the same time. As hard as it is to admit, I feel used. I go from being extremely sad to wanting revenge. I can't seem to help myself at times. It's overwhelming, almost obsessive behavior. I think about doing things to make things harder on them, and hopefully that will make them need me again and come around. Not cool, I know, but I miss them so much. Call me crazy, I just want them to suffer for using me, but then again, I want us to at least try to be friends. Help me. I keep thinking, what if they are happy with me being out of their life? What if they find someone that makes them happier than I did. What id they have a better life with this new person than they had with me. I keep thinking of what never will be again, and it hurts. I hate feeling this way!!!!!!!!!