terepeon

Hi. I read your post by chance, and I don't usually reply to many of these, but I felt like I should to this one. I originally found this website because my boyfriend proposed, and then broke up with me one week later. I pretty much went into shock. He basically decided that it was more responsability than he wanted, and he has been partying like he's in high school ever since we broke up one month ago(he's 25). Our stories are different, but they do have one thing in common. From what you wrote, it seems like your better instinct is telling you not to trust him, but you want to very badly because you're afraid that the alternative might hurt too much. I did the same thing for a very long time. Only now can I admit to myself that I saw signs that my boyfriend was constantly pushing off responsability regardless of how many times he told me that he wanted the same things I wanted. Actions speak much louder than words. I know that you mentioned that he has been consistent for the last 8 months, but that may only be because he's not sure of you. You know what he treated you like when he was sure he had you, and people don't just change. Especially at 42. They have to make a conscious effort to do so, and this guy doesn't sound like he has. You mentioned that you felt guilty about reading his e-mail. It's not the most moral way of finding out, but you definitely owed it to yourself to be protective of yourself, and he wasn't helping you out. Something else that you might want to look at, is the way he made you feel like you were going nuts when you asked him about this other woman. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew how much pain that caused you. Yet, he was willing to do that nonetheless. You know that he has that in him. Do you want to be with someone that could hurt you so much? And like I wrote earlier, he may not be sure of you right now, which is why he is behaving. Just remember how he treated you when he did have you. That is most likely how he will treat you again.