Hi,
My girlfriend and I just broke up yesterday. She says she is not in love with me anymore, but loves me sooo much. She is 19 and has often said she wants to be 19. I have never stopped her from doing so. I am 24. Well she said she doesn't feel like she should about me to maintain our relationship. We have been together for 18mths. Things started to go down hill pretty quick when she told me she was attracted to another, but she wouldn't act on it. I told her that it didn't mean she loved me any less. Anyway she kissed this other person on the weekend and then promptly broke up with me. I told her that it didn't bother me that she had kissed this person and begged to give us a chance. But she wouldn't. She said she is achnging and wants to go out and party and be herself and she feels that if she is herslf with me she will hurt me. Which she has, she is a flirt and we have totally different standards and morals etc, but we do agree on things. When we first met I was in a relationship I wasn't happy in and she had loved me for over a year. We got together and the first year was amazing and then all of a sudden this happens. Sure we have had our probs and issues like a lot of couples etc. I mean I am sure I am partkly to blame I have jealsouly issues as well as trust issues. But she said it started a few months back when she started to fallout of love with me. She didn't tell me and I knew something was up, but not this. She won't give us a chance.
She doesn't want a relationship with anyone. She doesn't know if she wants this other person, and she is willing to at least give me a fair chance of getting her back. She is very confused, as am I. Cause her words say one thing and yet her actions say another. Only up until last week she told how in love with me she was, she was soooo upset when trying to break up, and she doesn't get upset easily, she is sooo worried about hurting me, would she worry so much if she wasn't in love with me? We bought furniture only a couple of weeks ago, if she was feeling like this why did she, she was soooo worried about me being sick, I have MS and she worries sooo much, she went to kiss me this morning she says out of habit, She claims she isn't in love with me, but her eyes and touch say another. She tells me she loves me. I don't understand. She says one thing does another. Its odd. She said a few weeks back that'd we'd spend time apart but we would get back together. She has a weird way of doing that, and more often than not she is right.
She doesn't love this other person, but is attratced to them and isn't attracted to me sexually anymore the way she think should be. She said it's not me who has chanegd but her. She wants space and freedom and no rersponsibilities and no one to get via her actions.
So we have decided to break for a couple of months. Set down some ground rules etc, the hard part is we live together and neither of us can afford to move out, the lease ends in oct. BUt I sooo want her back, I already miss her. I realise my jealsouly may have been adriving force as is my inability to trust. But I did trust she went to a party without me while I was on my death bed and in a huge bawling mess, and she left and did what I asked her not to. How can I trust her not break the rules we worked out for our break?
Help. I know she is the one for me. I love her more than anyhting and she knows I would do anything for her.
I am afraid if I just get on with things and try my best, she can either see that as a sign of i'm moving on and letting her go or a sign of I don't care afterall. If I ignore her that would be difficult, and prob hurt us both even more, if I start to flirt with others she will prob cheer, (she is open minded, but not open relationship wise)or she could do the same to me and make me jealsous alot easier.
I am caught how do I get her back and show that I do care without smothering her and professing my undying love. While at the same time trying to do a show/musical with both of them in it, and try and ignore what they have done and the confusion they are in. It hurts sooooo much and I know we are meant to be, but when will she realise this, she turns 20 next month, maybe she might mature?
Help
