kisskissNC

Day 4, Wow, So I posted that I was on Day 1 for the second time and have been busy up until this point. The point of No Contact is to heal ourselves and I feel like there's almost no point in stating that I am in No Contact anymore because I could care less whether she wants to talk to me or not. I'm taking the relationship we had as a learning experience and moving forward with my life. When I go out people still ask how my girlfriend is doing and whatever else they want to know and I can tell them confidently that she moved away and that we are no longer together. After the conversation it doesn't sadden me like it used to that we are apart. I used to search the internet and these forums for any way that I could get my ex girlfriend back. I now have no desire to do that and if we eventually become friends or not is okay with me. Although I am technically only 4 Days into No Contact I would say I am still a couple of weeks in because the contact was so brief and meaningless. Time does heal wounds! No contact is the best way to heal.

Day 1 No Contact is so much easier when other women are interested in you! I've been talking to a few women and it's definitely putting my mind at ease towards the ex. Working out and generally feeling happier might be drawing them in like magnets. =)

Alright so I was in the NC Challenge and ended up breaking contact a couple of times. One time was unavoidable when I unexpectedly saw her the others were my fault though. Unfortunately I found out through a mutual friend that she has in fact gone back to her ex-boyfriend and is beginning bad habits that she had gotten rid of while with me. I thought I would be more upset about this ex-boyfriend situation but I am taking it quite well. I had a feeling she would be back with him because she was talking to him behind my back and stringing me along the last two months of the relationship so that I wouldn't kick her out. She was so quick to go back to her ex-boyfriend and it makes me wonder if she ever did truly love me. If things don't work out with them I think I have to man up and not accept being her second choice. I have a feeling this is her plan because she has expressed that she "still cares about me" and wants to be friends. Day 0 Started at midnight last night. I blocked and deleted her from messenger, don't have her phone number in my phone and don't know it so calling/txting won't be an issue.

What happened? If you don't mind my asking.

Day 5, I felt strong urges to txt or call her up to hang out tonight. I've been laying around all day procrastinating and I just want to have some fun! Luckily I have been fighting the thoughts the best I can and hopefully won't cave by the end of the weekend. Weekends, mornings and evenings are tough without your lover girl. Deep down I miss her extremely but remembering that it wasn't all good times helps. Knowing that she hasn't contacted me and seems indifferent to us also helps... blah. No contact woot!

Day 4, It makes it a lot easier to keep No Contact when they have not tried a single time since leaving to contact you. When I was keeping low contact at the start of our break up it was always me initiating and feeling unfulfilled. I will see a concert ad or an upcoming show that I know we both would have enjoyed together and think about how much fun it could be. I wish I could spend those times with her but I may still go to them with someone else. The no contact leaves me wondering if she really is indifferent to the situation or not. Oh well, here goes to another day!

Day 3, I'm finding it hardest to keep my focus when I first wake up and in the evening. My ex has been in my dreams the past few nights and I have been waking up a lot earlier than usual and unable to get back to bed. I used to wake up and look forward to seeing her and hearing her voice to get me into the mood for the day. It's tough but I don't regret NC because I know it would be a lot worse if I was in contact at the moment. In fact I wish I would have started NC earlier!

Day 2 Was busy from 8am to 5pm today. She didn't creep into my mind as much as she used to. I came to a few realizations last night about our break up. My actions weren't congruent with wanting to be with her. It's no wonder she pulled away I don't think I would have put up with it either. The thought that I can't change the past and can only be in the present helps immensely with the negative feelings. It's fine to reflect and work on ones self. Playing the "what if" game set me back so much it's unbelievable. It helps not to contact your ex because then you are not spending your day critiquing ever word that they say to you. Over-analyzing a situation takes an enormous toll on your body. I would like to think I am becoming indifferent about whether we get back together or not. That is the mindset that got me the girl in the first place, haha interesting! Yeah for NC!

Day 1, My general situation, with limited details: We dated for 1 year and 4 months. My girlfriend and I have been broken up since the end of August. I broke up with her because she had been pulling away from me for over a month. We spent almost every day together since the start of the relationship and we both felt smothered. She told me she got sick of me and all of the moodswings. After a few days I tried to get her back but she wouldn't allow it. She was living with me until exactly one week ago when she moved an hour away to live with her dad. During her time living with me when we were not together she saw me cry and beg her to stay with me. It was my gut reaction to prove to her that we should be together and that I am actively trying to improve myself. During this stage she would continually say I still care about you, with a look of sadness. We skipped being friends, she wants to be friends now. I helped her pack up her stuff and gave her one last hug goodbye. I went with low contact txting since the day after she moved away. Kept it light, friendly and tried my best to steer clear of negative emotions and any talk about the relationship Unfortunately, this weekend I found a letter while I was cleaning which was her asking me to do something, and that she loves me and will always love me. I got weak and I asked if she wanted to hang out alone without friends, just the two of us and have some fun next weekend. She said "no, sorry I don't think you view me as a friend, and a friend is what I need right now. " After this the emotions flooded in. I sent a text apologizing for holding on to the relationship for so long and told her I respect her decision to be apart. At the end I said, the best way for me to show you that I love you is to respect your decision and be apart from you. Enjoy your new life, from kisskissNC. I got the following message: "Sorry for the way this ended. But time really is best. I want to be friends but is still soon for me. just Sorry is the best I have for you right now." I don't think I made it clear enough that my intention is not to be friends. However, I didn't reply and this is the last message that has caused me to go into No Contact to heal and to hopefully reconcile if the time is ever right. I hope I did not push her too far away already. I can't dwell on that though all I can do is better myself and things will work themselves out, with or without her.