boy11

Cheers for the advice Stabilo. I posted the question on another site and 7 replies said don't send the letter...but I don't see any harm. I caused her the pain, she's just too proud to show it. I want to send it because I'd like to be friends with her one day. Well, the letter was 8 pages. I've cut it down to 3 but can't fit what I want to say into any less! What did you say in the letter to your ex by the way? (that caused it to bite you in the a***)

I thought this thread is v useful. Applying it my situation is confusing. My ex and I were together for 2 yrs & lived together. I instigated the break-up but took 2 months to actually do it, by which time my ex wanted to break too so it turned out to be mutual. She seemed way cooler than me about it and wanted to be friends, I did too but soon realized I wanted her back. We kept in touch for 4 months, with an equal balance of contacting each other. I asked for her back twice though, she said we need time apart & see what happens, she couldn’t make any promises & said I should move on. I started to find the friendship painful so I asked for 1 month NC which she was cool about. Once NC started I deleted her from facebook. I called her after 6 weeks NC and she was angry about facebook, I apologized for not warning her beforehand but at the end of the conversation she told me (viciously) to never send her another friend request as she’ll ignore it. I was surprised because it was the 1st time she'd lost her cool since the break up. I e-mailed her the day after to say her comment was unnecessary and if she meant f*** you then fair enough I’ll leave her alone, I also wrote that its hard being friends with her as she puts up such a front (& makes frequent sarcastic digs at me) that I don’t recognize her anymore. That was 3 weeks ago and she never replied. It’s been 7 months since we broke up now. Sounds like she feels like the injured party….I’ve written a letter apologizing for how I’ve behaved since the break-up (i.e. being friends just to try and win her back), and to say I hope we’ll be friends some day, and to wish her happiness whatever path her future takes. I feel bad because everything was on good terms and we are both nice people, but our last conversation & my e-mail response was quite nasty and I feel like clearing the air. Not sure whether to send it or not though, trouble is I’m still healing & not ready to be friends. I’ll see her in 5 months at a mutual friends event. Will I do more damage by sending it, or by leaving her alone (I’ve no idea whether she hates me or not now)?