Tia2012

Day 4. So last night was really hard. Really hard. I went to an event with friends that I went to last year with same friendship group. I missed him so much and just wanted to text him to tell him, but I didn't. I'm now worried... I don't want him to contact me because I'll have to ignore it, but don't want him to think I'm not bothered! However, I've literally just picked up an email from him in response to my last one to him. He "just wanted to say" that he'd passed on my good wishes to his mum, bro and nephew like I asked him to! Now he didn't have to. All his other ex gfs have been deleted from his mind. Once again I ask myself, WHY IS HE IGNORING BLATANT FEELINGS???! Will not reply though.....

Well here goes. I need to do this. This was the first Christmas and new year I didn't spend with my now-ex after 2 years after splitting at the beginning of April 2016. Since then, he'd emailed me several times saying lovely things and I replied, always hoping that every bit of contact would bring us back together. He also said things (on email) that wound me up and every time I resolved never to message him again because it was clear that the reasons behind us splitting up would never change. That would last for a few weeks, then I'd miss him and feel the need to make contact (always by email). Anyway, the last time I heard from him was just before Christmas telling me to have a nice time (as if!), and with all the festivities and parties, I've started missing him again so decided to make contact with him. I got a nice reply, again with a big X at the bottom, but it didn't say what I ultimately wanted him to say..that he wanted me back. I need to stop this constant going round in emotional circles. It hurts and I need to move on with others that ARE showing interest in me. So, as I said, here goes!...