This is a really long story, but I will try to make it quick. I met my husband 5 years ago. He lived in another state but ran a route thru my hometown twice a week. He told me he wasnt married, but after a couple of dates, I suspected he was, though he denied it.
He moved to my town to be with me a couple of months later and all was well, till his mother called. She had told him he had to tell me he was married, and had left his wife (no kids) for me.
We stayed together, and he got a job driving over the road. He had made a trip thru his hometown and met with his wife to exchange some things a month or so later. I suspected that he slept with her, but dismissed it.
I found out I was pregnant 6 months later, and we were elated. He transferred to a local position so he could be close to me. I have diabetes, and had a really hard time medically, but he was there all the way, staying by my side every time I was in the hospital. We had a baby girl.
About six months later I was on computer and decided to look up my archived messages, and discovered he had "computer sex" with some woman. Confronted him on it and he dismissed it as no big deal.
Well, last year my dad died after a long illness, but unexpctedly. It nearly killed me. He stood by me until after the funeral, when we started remodeling our house. I was still greiving and he way busy.
4 months ago, I came home to find a makeup bag sitting on my kitchen table that was not mine or my daughters. He had no idea how it got there even though he was the only one home that day.
About 3 months ago, a girlfiend needed work done on her truck and we said we would help. I got a load while they were here. So off I went. Saw a company guy I have known for years and he was flirting with me and I was flirting back. Felt guilty about it so I came home and told my hubby about it, hoping he would fess up as well to some of my suspicions. To no avail.
I have always trusted my instincts because they are usally right, and I knew that he had cheated on me on more than one occasion..So I cheated..And not only did I cheat, I told him about it before I did it. He was extremely upset...
He finally told me about his infidelity after I called his ex on a haunch, and she said they have been together a couple of times, like i had suspected. He also said the makeup bag came from some woman he had met on the road that he had received oral sex from. And he did put the moves on my girlfiend.
I wanted him to leave, but also to stay for the baby. But he wouldnt budge saying I am the most important thing in his life, and he loves me so much. Finally I gave up trying to split up and have just been going on, life as usaual, whatever usual is now.
My thing is, I dont feel as if I love him like a wife should love her husband, though I do love him, and am very comfortabe with him. I enjoy spending time with him, but I am not sexually intrested in him anymore, unless I cant stand the pressure of needing to be someone.
What do I do? Will the feelings for him ever return? Should I have made him leave? Please give me some advice.
