waveseer

90 days went by two days ago and I just noticed.

90, yes I can feel your hug and it does help tremendously, thank you.

I can accept when my path and another person's are no longer side by side nor intersecting, but I still know them and it never really goes away.

Sometimes thinking of him makes me happy and sometimes it makes me sad. Not thinking of him at all hasn't happened. Even when I undertake activities which require ALL of my attention they only last a few hours. I want to go through whatever it takes to find permanent and lasting peace. I am simply having another "magic moment".

That other feeling was the fifth in the grieving process but I can't remember what it is, maybe that's the one I'm circling, lol.

90, I am very nostalgic lately. I miss so many things about my ex. He is a good person and he was very kind to me for a long time. It's hard to let him go completely, not the same kind of heartache but a missing of him, not any relationship, just who he is. I really hope he finds happiness within himself and in life, whatever that entails.

I am speaking to you! I am speaking to anyone who can/will listen for two reasons:

1. To help them through the process.

2. Because I heal through interacting with others.

Left to my own devices I seem to wander into rooms filled with ghost feelings that I thought were long dead and departed.

I keep cycling through anger, grief, acceptance, denial, and that other one. This is the hardest time of day for me, I need a friend.

I figured out a long time ago that my ex and I were together when we needed to be and apart when we needed to be. That is how it works, so being gracious costs me nothing.

Well you got what you wanted

An end to our story

And I got what I wanted

An end to our conflict

I never dreamed in the beginning

That you would be the one I wanted

You never dreamed in the end

I would be the one to leave

In between we stayed hidden

Not turning up our cards

You didn't want the guilt

And I didn't want the pain

Now that it's all over

Now that it's all been said

We've done exactly what we feared

And left the table empty handed

So our story has ended

And we can go on with our lives

Letting go of the guilt and pain

Taking only the good parts

I learned to be accepting

That things might not work out

You learned to be more careful

With someone you care about

Goodbye, my handsome lover

I'll always remember you

For being with me all those nights

For all the smiles and happiness

I wish only good things

As you travel through your life

There is another story for us

But separately this time

I am holding out for someone I can care for as much as I cared for you. I still miss you after all this time, not desperately though, just under the surface feelings of loss.

You're welcome, journey.

On a day that's 63rd, I can see forever.

You were never a loser but you did lose me.

My favorite is your abstract, more please!

Unless he owns up to his part up front I would caution you against entertaining any thoughts of reconciliation. A lesson I learned the hard way.

^^^ He isn't taking responsibility for his own actions. Why would you want someone like that?

Day 3

 

I can't get anything done. I feel miserable. I worked so hard to become functional again and now after one encounter I feel as bad as I did in the beginning.

It won't last as long as it did before. You will be okay soon, it's only a temporary setback. Do what you did to come out of it the first time. You are going to be okay.

Yea. There are a lot of things affecting her right now. Not from me, but about me. Things are being said, people are being hurt, and lies are being told. Not a fun position to be in...

I'm glad you can see that. I think upset people get a really bad rap from the "you never really know someone until your breakup" club.

Day 1 all over again. This time, by her again. Couldn't have been worse, and I have no idea why she did it. She basically said you were the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I don't know why I stuck around for as long as I did. This was after an entire month of 99.9% NC. Don't know what to think at this point. The whole situation is just stupid and immature. And it's so ironic. That was THE biggest turn on for me way back. She was mature. Not like the others I've dated. This girl was genuine and caring. Amazing how people can change so quickly...

She is likely upset about something. People's personalities don't usually change that much but anyone can behave poorly when upset.

Your only crime is that you care. Take it easy on yourself, cut yourself some slack, you are human after all. Forgive yourself and move on to better things. That's where I'm headed too.

Thank you, KG, and congrats on your newfound love interest!

I'm glad it spoke to you, qg, that makes it worth sharing.

Every time I turn a corner, there you are in my mind again.

Forward progress is so slow I wonder if I'll be dead before indifferent.

I'm not in agony, thank god (and ena), but I'm not ecstatic either.

I'm contemplating archaic forms of mental health treatments.

When I am ancient and departing this world I'll remember you.

I'm not sure what I will be feeling, but you'll be there with me.

Like a wayward magician's helper I unleashed a powerful spell.

And now I've no way to make my love for you disappear.

That is one of the best poems I have ever ever read..huge pat on your back!!

Thank you, tb, I'll try not to dislocate anything trying. lol

Thank you indigo.

I just want to run and jump and play

Be free and light in the wind

Watch clouds stream by like waves in the sky

And imagine riding them on wings

I just want to find the nearest hill

And climb it as fast as I can

Scrambling over trees and rocks

Leaping over puddles and mud

I just want to make some noise

Rouse the neighbors with my drums

Loud and strong and way off beat

Stopping only for the law

I just want to kick and strike

Spinning jumping flying feet

Knocking over 8 foot pads

Blurry combos with my hands

I just want to scream and shout

Shrieking laughing yelling whistling

At the universe at large

To register my existence

Wonderful! Thank you waveseer.

Thank you, and you're welcome, jn!

No. 3. Not sure if this is finished or not. We'll see. I'm calling this one 'My heart'.

 

Not to diminish your title in any way, but I would love this design on a tile so the lines all connected, like a tessellation.

Good one Wave! I like.

 

Thanks, JW.

Good one Wave! I like.

 

Thanks, JW.