0cyrus

Okay okay I think there was a little misinterpretation from my last post... but thanks to everyone who replied. I am *not* trying to change her to do things my way.... it's not difficult to change someone, it is impossible. Anyway-I don't think of it as my way, and she has agreed that it is simply a respectful and decent way to treat another human being that you care about. I guess the problem really lies within me, because I am the one that is getting hurt by it (then why would I stay when I keep getting hurt may be the next thread on this topic) and maybe I am wrong to do so... I just want so much for this to be it because I really want this to be it (I'm done partying and I don't want to look for a partner anymore) Perhaps therin lies another problem... I guess I have a lot of thinking and questions and if I go into every single one here, no one would finish reading this long post. Again thanks to all who replied, and if anyone else has advice, I am more than willing to lend an ear. Thanks

Okay I've never used anything like this before.. just stumbled upon this forum.. anyway here is my problem: I've been seeing a girl for almost 3 and a half years... things are okay... and just 'okay'....Here's the deal- when I want to do something (with or without her) I ask what she thinks of it- and I seriously take into consideration what she has to say. If it is something that will really bother her, I won't do it (even if I really want to) etc etc... but her opinion and thoughts and feelings really mean a lot to me. When it comes to her, however... she doesn't even ask for my opinion or thoughts... she does whatever she feels like (she says that it is because she is 'independent') After I snapped once, she began to ask for my opinion, and I thought the problem was solved.... but now it's worse!! Now when I tell her what I think or feel about it, she ignores it and does whatever she wants again. When I get upset she tells me that she doesn't think it's that big of a deal. I tried explaining that we are different people, and what may seem trivial to her is actually important to me and vice versa. Still no luck... I want to marry this girl because I cannot see myself with anyone else but her.... I have actually got an engagement ring for her (I bought it almost a year and a half ago) but I have been waiting until I feel 'semi-important' to ask her. Marriage is forever and I want this problem solved before I move forward to that point. Any ideas?