GetMeBack

Hi, Lilbear your friend has no sense ( sorry no offence ) why would she ask you to do such a thing?

Hi Samantha, I thought I would leave you a message as I really felt for you reading your post. You know when you love someone it is so hard sometimes to detach your head from your heart. Your in love and all that matters is how you feel " right now" and it can be so difficult to see anything else. I read a book once about relationship breakups and it said, sometimes detaching yourself from a situation is really hard when your " in " that situation. So the best thing to do is to look at your situation as if it was your mates situation and what advice would you give her. I find this technique works for me as I am able to detach the emotions from it, for a short while and see the situation clearer. I feel that this woman is dangling you on a thread. She is almost like a fisherman, she dangles the bait ( I.E TEXT saying, I miss you ) you reply, so she has caught you . She then loses interest and throws you back in the sea again ( lets fish go ) and then the whole cycle starts again. Can you see where I am coming from here? I know you probably think she is wonderful and beautiful e.t.c But would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that made you second best. You are special and anyone who meets you should realise that straight away or they can take a hike!. You deserve someone who knows without thought that your the person they want to be with and no one else. This is a boundary that needs to be set, no exception samantha. But I am working on this myself too. Any contact she makes with you about how she is so sorry she hurt you e.t.c is bull c**** because, fact. She has. And she is still doing it by keeping you dangling but I feel that sometimes a lot of the hurt we go through in our life has to do with the choices we made. Your choosing to respond ( as hard as I know to not respond ) and your choosing to get sucked into this destruction she is causing. DISTANCE, DISTANCE, DISTANCE yourself from her is the key Samantha. YOU can not be friends with someone your madly in LOVE with and if she cant see that she is a dumb a** I hope this helps a bit.

Hi Bostoneric, I know what you mean about the panic attacks. They are awful. I have found that lately, I will do everything I want to do, and eat everything I want to eat. I try not to make too many demands on myself as I have to be kind to myself right now. I took your advice and didnt reply to his pathetic excuse for caring yesterday ( voicemail ) which I know will probably shock him to the hills and this afternoon I felt a lot of discomfort over not letting him know " I am ok" but your right I would be only doing that for his benefit not mine, because I am not alright! I feel that your ex-girlfriend has been very selfish but I have a funny feeling she will wake up and smell the coffee soon! In any situation you can not just jump from one relationship to another or overlap in your situation. You have to give yourself time, to grow and improve. She hasnt done that at all. So take comfort in the fact that , her relationship will not last and by the time she does come round to her senses you would of moved on anyway! She seems like she is running away from her feelings, and she uses " new relationships" as a coping mechanism. This way she doesnt have to face her inner demons. However, they will resurface and they always do. The hardest part of this break up for me was trying to concentrate on me! Just thinking about me, and that in itself shows I am a good person, kind caring and loving person. I alwys want to make someone happy. ( I am currently training to be a nurse ) I never tell myself I am a good person. And I have found that a lot of the reasons why I havent wanted to let go because I feel like I cant do any better which is ridiculous as we all deserve someone to truly love us and never leave. I also feel that if someone can abandon you, why do they deserve free love? And yes it is free, because we give it to them openly and unconditionally and they give us nothing back or a " donation" in return ( i.e text, voicemail, stupid smiley faces on msn e.t.c ) I want to apply to medical school next year and I find that when I want to slip into fantisizing about me and him back together. I think about my plans for medical school and that usually is a very equal distraction for me. . The day he broke up with me, I stopped all thoughts of a future with him and started to think about a future without him, its scary, unfamiliar and daunting. I have found that a lot of people on here, want to email their exes, call or text e.t.c because they feel that they will get " closure" by doing so. But I have found that the real closure comes from within. Calling them up, will give you temporary relief and the convo may go well. But the bad feeling will quickly return as your still not back together e.t.c I feel that working through all your pain, and feelings alone gives you the true freedom we are all looking for here. As they say No pain, no gain.

I did it guys, if you skip back a few pages you will see that I was on another challenge within this challenge I read all 630 pages of this thread! If I break NC after all that, I need to go to a loonie bin!. It has taken me 5 days and I am on 5 days NC so far. He made contact via voicemail yesterday but I have ignored it. To me, I see it as someone throwing me scraps! He also said to me on thursday " your not talking to me because you want to get back together with me right now are you? If thats the case, dont waste your time! " Lovely. I am taking his advice, and not wasting my time! It has been so helpful to me to read every single persons story and BOSTONERIC she does not deserve you. I read today, remember in the draft she had wrote out to a friend " she claimed that you were a child and she had to do everything for you " However, it was this child that she was calling up for help with the wireless?!!! That in itself I think is despicable. You dont owe her anything and do not help her anymore.

Thank you Le dhuy, I have decided I am taking your advice and wont reply. I listened to the voicemail again and it sounded like it was a bit effort for him to call me and that he didnt really want too! So no, I will leave it me thinks!! Thank you guys x

Thanks Tushboy just done that actually, without the cookie bit though. Had a Cadbury's Caramel instead. But I am serious, do you think I should ignore him? I know someone has already said to do that but I would like other peoples feedback please. I am so worried about all of this now.

Thank you J-Man, me loves pink! But hey, what do you think about my situation I am driving myself crazy here.

Hi I know what you mean about the " easing the guilt thing". I suppose I am just worried he will think I am being rude but I shiuldnt think like that because he hasnt treated me very good lately. Do you think he will lose interest if I carry on ignoring him. Sorry if I sound a bit needy! I am so nervous about all of this its insane!

Hi Guys, well I am on a challenge within SD's challenge. I will give you a brief run down. Boyriend broke up with me 10 weeks ago! Completely devastated me. I am 21, he is 26. Never really been able to go any longer than 3-4 days without contact and usually one of us makes contact. He has been a selfish pig and had his "cake and eat it" on 4 different occasions. I tried to do the NC challenge on my own, did 6 days and caved and contacted him and he was telling me things like " Your not talking to me right now because you want to get back with me is it? If thats the case , dont waste your time" OUCH!!!! He said more interesting statements like that as well, anyway he told me that last week thursday. I contacted him with my new address on the friday by text as I am moving into student halls. He was very unresponsive and that made me feel like s*** in itself. Now been on SD challenge since friday, so I am on DAY 4 NC. I am posting this very quickly because my other challenge was to read all 628 pages of this thread! Yes sounds extreme, but I am serious about this challenge now and I thought to myself. If I break NC after reading 628 pages I need to be admitted to the loony bin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am currently on page 332! So I am getting there! lol. Maybe I am already a loony for even attempting this challenge but it has helped me a lot reading everyones experiences! Lastly, the EX HAS JUST CONTACT ME!. He rang the house phone, I did not answer. He then blew up my cell and left a voicemail it said " Hi, I am just ringing to see how you are, give me a text when you get this so I can give you a call back later. Anyway hope your well.Bye! " EEEEEEEEEEK. WHAT DO I DO? HELP! I NEED URGENT ADVICE. SHALL I IGNORE HIM? Thanks!