Sunshine75

How about: "Because it's none of your BUSINESS! We broke up, remember? My life isn't your business anymore." I hate it when exes want to know "how you're doing" Puke! Gag! Ohhh! Another one! How about: "If I wanted you in my life/business maybe we'd still be together." Even if they're the dumper they still hate that one.

I don't know how many days it's been because he doesn't matter. lol Seriously though, I've had a couple of days that I missed him but it alternated with wanting to put him into the hospital. So I'd say it's better that I have no contact right now... Do I feel bad ignoring his messages? Never. I actually feel good. Like I've taken the high road. I'm not allowing him to treat me poorly and I'm not treating him poorly. I'm just not treating him like anything at all.

samantha - I just read your post and was very moved by it. It reminds me quite a bit of my own situation. Except I've been off and on with a guy who's yanked me around the same way for years. He would do similar things - say he loved me and wanted to be with me, then after we were together all of a sudden we were just "friends" and had always just been friends?!?! Like the woman you're talking about, he had no problems with lying or misleading me. Stringing me along and then changing his mind.... To answer your question of should you stay friends with her? Obviously that's up to you, but if you hadn't developed feelings for her by being intimate with her, would you still want to be friends? From what you've shared she is an unstable, wishy washy, confused, lying user who has no problem taking what she wants from you but doesn't want to offer you any kind of honesty. Which in my book is the same as not offering any respect. She's a fair weather friend of the worst variety. Like my fair weather "friend", she too wants to stay friends with you and doesn't want to lose contact with you because she enjoys the affection, attention and adoration that you offer her. She probably knows that you would drop everything to be there for her and offer her whatever it is that she wants and needs at the moment. However, in return she's offering nothing but the occasional opportunity to satisfy her needs(whatever they may be) and plenty of lies. If that's what you want in a friend, I say, "go for it." But I'm choosing NC for myself because I'm tired of being used, lied to, and played with. I also wanted to add, that I too have had the feeling that if I let him go that he will move on and be with someone else. But really, if they(he and you're friend) hadn't been with other people, would you even be contemplating NC? No. Because if either of them were up front or honest about what they wanted with either of us(to use us how they wanted) then we wouldn't have been with them. But they hid their true natures until love developed. Now we're both torn on if we let them go, will they move on? Of course they will. But they're gonna screw other people and lie to us about it whether we're in contact with them or not. I'd rather cut ties and not have to deal with it. I deserve better treatment and so do you.