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deleted-account

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Everything posted by deleted-account

  1. So I broke all sorts of NC last night by sending a few texts to my ex. I got way to drunk and I've been puking all morning. Oh well, I think I had fun last night.
  2. Today has been the hardest day emotionally in months. Fighting to get through the holidays
  3. So I'm no good at this NC thing, although, it's pretty much been 2 months since any real contact with her. So I unblocked her on AIM and within 20 minutes she sent me a message and started making jokes. I haven't responded back yet since I have my away message up. I know I'm not completely healed but I have made huge gains in the past few months. Ultimately I want her back but as far as I know she's still with this other guy. Her interest is definietly high cause she has no idea what I'm doing with my life right now. I think I'm going to see how this goes the next few days and if it's going nowhere then I'll go back to NC. I truly feel that no matter what she says right now that it won't set me back. I'm taking a chance.
  4. Contacting her today was definitely a mistake. Now I'm busy wondering what she was going to say when she called back. I'm fighting the urge to contact her again.
  5. I've been struggling with this NC lately. Must be the Holidays. Anyway, it doesn't seem to hurt or upset me when I break NC, but I know it's delaying my healing. I sent her a text today telling her that the Bengals vs steelers is on tonight. She's not a huge football fan but she does/did cheer for the Bengals with me. She immediately tried to call but I didn't pick up. I'm not playing any games, I just know that I probably can't handle actually talking to her on the phone. I don't even know how long it's been since I've heard her voice, probably a couple months. I wish I could figure out what's going on in my head. I don't really want to talk to her because I don't want to hear about how great her life is going, but then I find ways to break NC.
  6. Haha!! I just realized it's only been 4 months since we broke up, not 5 like I was thinking. For some reason I'm finding this hilarious. I guess it just feels like it's been forever.
  7. princess_summer_blue84 It would have been better if you didn't do that, but it's not a big deal if you're fine with it. Telling someone that you're moving on can be seen as you not moving on.
  8. 5 months now since we've laughed together and smiled together. I find I'm starting to forget why I fell in love with her. I'm forgeting why I was so happy. I'm forgeting who she is. That's what has me upset right now.
  9. I screwed up my NC this weekend. Got VERY drunk with some buddies and had a great time. Next morning I looked at my phone and realized I had sent her a text at 5 am. She didn't respond but it doesn't really bother me. Back to NC though.
  10. So I'm officially joining the challenge. I already did a fake NC for 30 days where I continued to look at her facebook. I thought I was in a good state and contacted her 2 weeks ago and we've had LC since then, but it's still hurting me so I need to go NC. Today I finally deleted her off everything. My story is pretty simliar to what others have gone through. Both 23, together over 3 years. We pretty much lived together the first 2 years but the last year was long distance since she stayed behind to get her masters degree. I had a deposit down on a ring when she broke up with me in July. We talked a lot about marriage and having kids, and she definitely wanted to. We considered ourselves unofficially engaged and I just didn't have the money for a ring yet. There's another guy in the picture so I need to move on even though I still love her.
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