Cynthia

Well I saw with my own eyes what kind of guy I was with all these years....He was on a date with a girl already last night. We broke up last Thursday, met a girl on Saturday (so he says) and was on a date with her last night and she went home with him... He's obviously not suffering as much as I am...I'm so upset since here I am crying at home alone, and he's already seeing another girl and going out with the boys everynight. He was sure quick to move on. When we broke up he mentioned that he hadn't been a happy for the last year, that he didn't feel a spark between us and thought that by proposing would start a spark again! What was he thinking. He obviously didn't think of the consequences if it didn't create a spark. There are not many things I'm sure about in life (self-esteem, career, just life in general) but I was always sure we loved eachother so much that we would be spending our whole lives together. How could I have been such a fool because that's what I feel like right now...The worse feeling in the world is when you love one so fully and completely and they don't love you back. When I saw them together last night it absolutely killed me, everytime I think I'm moving a step forward in dealing with this situation I take 5 steps back. I just wish the pain would go away... Thanks for all your advice. I've never done this type of thing but the advice that you give brings a different perspective especially since you've gone through the same thing!

After reading your message I decided I had to relate my feelings with all of you as well...because I am in the exact same situation, and I take comfort that I am not the only one going through this... I was with my boyfriend for 6 years. On February 20th of this year he proposed in our favorite restaurant in a monkey suit. I was in total shock, he even brought my parents out to dinner to ask for permission saying I was the one, that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I can describe our engagement like this - he put the ring on my finger and he ran. He started being so mean to me, not wanting to hang out with me, going out with the boys every Saturday night, insulting. He was surely not the same person I had fallen in love with. On Saturday I told him we need to take a couple weeks away from eachother so he could figure out what was wrong...4 days later we met up and he told me it was over. Just like that. He said he didn't 'love me that way', that he thought by proposing it might bring back the spark but it didn't and now we need to break up. He said it hadn't been there for years...Why would you stay with someone that long if there was nothing. He said he was comfortable with me that's why, and that we were best friends but couldn't be husband and wife. We haven't spoken since, and everyone tells me he's been crying everyday. They tell me he feels relieved that he finally told me the truth, that he doesn't want to be with me but he's sad he lost his best friend. I'm having such a hard time not calling or emailing. Which I haven't but I'm left so confused and don't understand why he would put me through so much pain. I feel numb, I can't concentrate at work and am not sleeping right. How do I get over this, without losing all hope in love. I feel like such a fool.