NobodySpecial13

hey, yes she says she has strong dislike for me right now and that i should leave her alone, she also made a comment that shes trying to get over me.i dont want to lose her for good becuz she is my first only and last love. if i do lose her forever im afriad i will breakdown and i will most definitly blow my head off. im not sure how many people it will effect being i am only 15. we have been together for 3 years and weve been through a lot of heartbreak and a pregnancy and abortion. she claims she needs space right now but im afraid it will only make me more depressed and i will attempt suicide. i told her and she believed me at first then my friends talked me out of it so she thought i didnt mean it. so i was going to do it again and she told me i was dumb.im not sure how this will turn out but i know my heartbreak has led to my short temper and impatience. please help me people i dont want to die but im not afriad of it either. if she doesnt stop hurting me i will off myself and she will know exactly how much she meant to me. i know that sounds wrong, but if i cant be with her i will cease to be in general, please respond

Hello , im tears of a dragons brother, anyway about 5 days ago my ex girlfriend and her friend came over,and we were in my room and i had made plans to go out that night which my ex girlfriend didnt take kindly to. so she was giving me an attitude, and i was already having a bad day, so at that point she wanted to leave and i got pissed and she kicked me so i hit her with a pillow and she kept kicking me so i returned fire... anyway this escalted when she got up and tried to slap me and i grabbed her by the arm and yanked her about an inch short of the wall. at that point she got up and tried to hit me again and got me in the fave, and broke her nail. so she got even more pissed and i told her friend to leave and her friend wouldnt so i got pissed and screamed at her to get the *** outta my house. after this she told me she didnt love me anymore and that i was a piece of shit to her. and i tackled her onto my bed and she wouldnt look me in the eyes so i grabbed her face and turned towards me and accidentally cut the inside of her lip on her tooth. so i got up and left the room to cool down. she was still upset and etc. anyway now she tells me she still cares about me,she still loves me,she misses me, but she does not like me at all right now, she tells me i should be thinking of ways to get her to like me again, which is fine, but she refuses to talk to me on the phone or see me. now im a known cutter and wrist slitter so the situation doesnt help much and very lately ive been heavily contemplating it, but my friends obviously advise against it, she says she will go back out with me but not for months.. this cant happen becuz she is moving next month, and moves always weaken relationships, and im afraid fo what will happen not to mention i need her very much, she says she just needs space right now, but i cant deal with it becuz ive fallen into a fit of depression. she doesnt understand that i feel horrible about what ive done, and she wants to be stubborn about it becuz shes very concieted now. what the hell should i do?