sorrowful_Dove

Hi doblersdream, I'm in a similar situation. I understand your dilemma with the catch-22 but I believe since you've told her how you feel and put effort into showing her how you feel (especially with your letter). If you don't call her I think she will see it as you giving her space. Keep your head up and remember to do what makes you truly happy inside and then you will be able to take care of other factors outside of yourself (ie relationships). Take Care. -SD

I was with my girlfriend for 1 year before something went wrong and we've been apart ever since. It all started one day after an argument about marriage (I said I didn't want to get married, I wasn't really thinking when I said it). We had a serious talk about our relationship and by my tone she felt I was breaking up with her (in retrospect I can see exactly why she thought that, I said can two people be friends after a breakup, AHHH!!! what am I thinking when I say these things We didn't talk for a several days and the whole time she thought it was over between us. I finally explained to her what my problem was and that I'm working on it (problems with my childhood that I have not resolved and causes me to distance myself from those closest to me like her, I miss her so much.) After we had our discussion everything was reversed. I wanted to work on our relationship and she felt we should be friends or at least start out as friends. She asked me if I could work on myself with her or if I felt I should be alone to deal with my past. I want to deal with it either way but I don't want to lose her in the meantime. I'm sure this is very selfish and I know I have been selfish and my commitment is to free myself of all the deep hurt inside in order to open myself up and live in the present. Now that you know a little about me and my situation I want to ask for some advice. We talk almost everyday just as friends, not to in depth and fairly short conversations. Should I continue to stay as friends or should we step away from each other so I can give her space and give myself space to grow? I really don't want to lose her and what hurts me most is thinking about the pain I've caused her. She says maybe I should date other people and also we should start over from the beginning and just be friends. If we continue to talk on the phone like we have been I don't feel things are going to change between us and I don't want her to see my as "just a friend". Wow, I didn't realize I wrote so much yet I feel I haven't written enough. Please let me know of your thoughts. Thank you. I greatly appreciate the time everyone takes on these forums to help and comfort others. sorrowful_Dove