Thank god! I just came on this site for the first time and your replies and original post really helped. Why indeed do we still miss our exes when they obviously weren't right for us any more - or else they'd still be with us??
I think it's also a habit forming thing. We get used to being with someone, and sharing things with them, often banal things, like what their favorite toothpaste is. Then suddenly, you're left with all this information that is no longer useful or relevant, but it still stabs you in the gut when you see the toothpaste sitting innocently on the shelf in the supermarket!
When my 9 year relationship ended in January, I didn't know what to do. My ex told me he was leaving me because he just didn't love me anymore, swearing there was no one else. And then I obviously found out there was someone else, a nasty version of me. And then I found out about the affair he had while we were going out...
I actually moved not only out of my flat, not only out of the town, but to a new country to preserve my sanity. And there I was tonight listening to his favourite radio programme over the Internet thinking 'oh my God, we'll never listen to that programme again in bed before kissing each other goodnight and cuddling up'. And that really hurt.
Another message said that we fear being on our own again. It's totally true. In my case, it's even harder since for the first 7 years of our thing, we were long distance, so it was phone calls daily. I cannot tell you how hard it is not to dial that number. Asking your flatmates to hide your cellphone is a good way round it.
Yuck, breakups really are the worst.
Anyway, thank you for your messages. They really are worth their weight in gold.
Fin
