Interested

I want to sign up for the NC challenge. I did really well at the beginning at no contact - and would really only have the odd text message here and there - which didn't help - but was doable. However, I've just got to the stage where its started to really do my head in, and after 1.5 months of being broken up and going over and over in my mind whether we will or won't get back together I think I've finally realised that it is over. I won't be going back. Not least as I found out he lied to me a lot. Which is even more hurtful as he was supposed to be a close friend beyond anything else. Anyhow, beyond all this. What do you guys do when you just start getting that over whelming feeling that you need to speak to the 'ex'. I have tried calling friends, but sometimes it literally feels like unless I send that text, or speak with him - it hurts. Yet, when I speak with him it hurts even more. It just seems a no win situation. I am signing up today which is 26 June. I am not even telling him what I am doing so if he does get in contact with me, I am literally going to ignore him. After all the lies I don't owe him any explanations and I need to do this for my own sanity as its driving me nuts. It doesn't help living in a flat on my own and never really getting the chance to speak to anybody in the mornings - which I always find is my worse time. Drinking alcohol also makes me blue - but is such a large part of what I need to do to keep busy - in terms of meeting up with friends etc. I can't wait for this feeling to go away and I know that everyone says that unless you embrace it head on, it won't - so I guess that is what I am doing and I know that it can't go on forever and I don't feel bad about my other ex's. I suppose its just easy to doubt yourself and worry about what is wrong with you when you break up with someone. Horrid. Anyhow, sorry for warbling on. No contact it is. Sign me up. 26 June 2007.