curtiplas

So, she's not pregnant, which is good and we've taken proper actions against another scare. Thanks, for everyone's help, I greatly appreciate it. -Curtiplas-

Yeah very true, it would be hard, I'm glad someone like you replied who has a similar situation. Thanks for your opinion. -curtiplas-

I would like to thank you for all you help Kellbell, I came to this forum expecting to here alot of what I did here, but I also expected to get the pity of people, like I was just another Sob story, which is not what I wanted. I got people's opinions, Especially yours, which is what I wanted. Again thanks for your help, and I'm still looking for other people's opinions. - Curtiplas -

Really, what is your master's in? I am surprised that you need to work two jobs, and also I understand your worries about the way we want to live our lives, ideally we see the same picture, but in a case like this she prefers to run and I don't, that's honestly just the way we were raised, my parents let me work for everything and only give help if I can't do it on my own, and even then its only HELP not giving me what I need/want. On the otherhand, she's never had to work for much, her parents give her tons of money, she gets what she wants, and altough her financial skills are excellent and she can save money no problem, she's never known what its like to pay BILLS. Regardless, being with me is giving her a due dose of reality, and she's getting with the program now that she see's what life can be like, and obviously its not an instant change, but she is changing. Thanks for the links they have already been helpful about how I'm going to approach her on the subject. -Curtiplas -

I ment to metion this in my last post but, I forgot, I personally don't mind being a father, at any time, I will admit it isn't convienent, and yesterday I was freaked out that she might be pregnant, which is when I searched the web for hours going from forum after forum looking at all those who were in a similar situation. Then I realized my real True dream in life is to raise a family and be a good father, although her being pregnant would ruin any other dreams, I'd be okay with it. But, I know this isn't just about me, or her for that matter, which is something else I realized yesterday, and I mean I always knew it but I never realized it. I know what your saying about not taking responsibility, and I can see it in her she runs when things get tough, but I've already inspired her to start taking charge of things, and slowly but surely she's coming around to realize she needs to grow out of this childishness. I geuss I forgot to mention my girlfriend is also 18.

Like I said I knew posting this I'd get lectures, and I know most people don't think I fully understand how this is going to affect my life, but I know it means a lifetime of struggling to pay bills, keep food on the table, make ends meet, and never achieving those dreams you had in life. To be honest, I know there's a great risk, I've known it, she doesn't like the condoms either, and she fears Birthcontrol because of the sideeffects and possibly screwing up our ability to have a child later on in life. She wants to run to her parents because she's afraid of the hard life we'd have to live and she doesn't want me to throw away my life and dreams. I think after we talked it through and she saw I was willing to do whatever it takes and the fact that I'd rather throw my dreams away and have her finish school because frankly she's better at it and in the long run it'd be better for "us" (the family). Anyway I know we have to stop "playing with fire" as its so often said, I just need to find away to approach the matter of Birth Control with out being Mean and giving her an altamatum. P.S. Thanks for all your help -Curtiplas -

Okay first of all I'm new to the forum, and I know I'm going to get a long lecture from everybody because of my supidity. So, I'm 18 me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 15 months ( year and 1/4), anyway we've been having sex for about a year now. We used to use condoms, and after one time of unprotected sex, we just enjoyed it soo much, we stopped using condoms, she's afraid to go on the pill, and although this is stupid we use the "pull out" method. Her periods were irregular for a long time before we had sex, well for the last five months or so she's starting every 30 days. She's been really worried because she usually gets cramps the day before her period starts and yesterday was day 31, with no signs of cramps. On top of that she said she's never ever gone past 31 days. I know she's been really stressed out this semester with all of her courses and the last 3 days shes been had nausea, dizziness, fever, and bad headaches. Today is day 32, still no period...yet. She was so worried yesterday that she bought and took a pregnancy test. It came back negative. However, we have sex alot, about every other day, and multiple times on the day we do it and the last time we had sex was three days ago (less than 48 hours when she took the test). I don't know how long it takes for the hormones to register on a pregnancy test (I.E. how long from when we had sex before the test will had reliable results). Also obviously a morning after pill would be out of the qeustion because if she is pregnant and since we have unprotected sex so often, we wouldn't know how long ago we conceived. Also another thing that worries me is, we were talking about what we would do if she was pregnant. Let me say first and foremost, I am not the type of guy to cut bait and run... I don't care what happens or what I have to go through I will be a part of my child's life. So my plan was to quit College, get married, pick up a full time day job and a full/part time night job, get an appartment I'll work to support our family. Then she can have the baby, take a semester off, and go back to school and get her degree, after she gets on her feet in her job, then I can quit my night job and go back to school. I know it would be hard but, I think we could scrape by if I did that. She on the other hand wanted me to keep going to school, continue to live at home with my parents, have the baby, her and the baby would live with her parents and she would continue her schooling, we wouldn't get married, and basically she would ask her parents to pay for all of the baby's needs. Of course I was upset and hurt when she told me this, I felt like she didn't want me to be a part of the baby's life. Also I know she would consider an abortion, which I have no problem with abortion itself but I wouldn't want her to have one. Any way I was wondering what advice anyone could give me. -Curtiplas-