InNeedOfHelpxx

Thank you guys so much I'm glad I posted here, you've got no idea how much you've helped!

I actually think so too. In the 3 years we've been friends I've only seen him with one girl and it lasted about three or four days. Hmmm. I think you're right. This year in college could do a lot of good for me. I'll probably feel more independent and adult-like than I do now, and I'll be more comfortable with this whole thing. Thanks a lot

Oh, and I'm sorry if I come off as a completely dramatic teenage nutcase or anything. I probably sound like I'm saying "Oh, we're 7 years apart, it's the end of the world!" and I don't mean to

I'm not sure if he would wait for me. I know he'd say that he would, but in reality I have no clue. I really don't want to take that chance. It was discussed, very briefly about a week before my 18th and right before I left for college...we were sort of entertaining the idea of dating, and he said something along the lines of, "I don't want to ruin your college experience or anything by having you date an old guy." and I remember telling him that I didn't see him as much older and that he wouldn't be ruining anything. And at the time I really did believe that. I don't know what's changed.

True...you can tell he's a bit older than me, but he only looks like he's around 21 or so. You're absolutely right. I know my friends approve, my family supports me no matter what. I just don't know how to go about getting "internal validation." I know it's the only thing that's missing and I have no idea how to be comfortable with it myself.

Yep, my aunt introduced us. She actually tried to set us up (with me being 15 and him 22 I find that a bit worrisome It's not even my friends I'm worried about. My friends love him and have been trying to get me to date him for a long time. I mean at first they teased me a bit, but I know they would accept it and there'd be no problem. My mom was a bit nervous at first (can't blame her though), but she's said a few times that she thinks he's cute and my grandma loves him. It's my own insecurity, and (annoyingly enough), my need for acceptance from complete strangers. Because I know some people would have a problem with it, and even if I don't know them, that bothers me for some reason. I feel like the most melodramatic teenager in the world. I keep thinking, "When I'm ___, he'll be _____." and it doesn't sound bad or weird to me at all, but I guess since I'm still a teenager it feels a million times worse. I don't know...knowing that he feels the same way makes me think that if I pass up this chance I'm an idiot.

See I know I'm being crazy. It's so annoying because if one of my friends came up to me and said "I'm 18 and I want to date a 25 year old," I'd tell her to go for it and that there's nothing wrong with it. I wouldn't even bat an eye at it. But when it comes to me and my own situations, I feel completely different. * * * is wrong with me?

Hi, thought I'd give this a try. Well to be blunt, I have feelings for someone who is too much older than me. Lets see, I met him when I was 15 and he was 22 (so there is a seven year age difference). Of course nothing happened then, we were introduced at a family party and after finding some common interests, just spent some time talking, blah blah. Well flash forward about three and a half years, and this guy is now one of my closest friends. Over the past three years we've developed a really strong friendship and I love him a lot (as a friend). Age has never been apparent in our friendship...we have hours-long conversations about the music, movies, and things we love. I guess it helps that we were born in the same decade and grew up more or less in the same generation. The only time I've noticed the difference is when we talk about my University, or when he talks about taking out loans to buy his new apartment. Right so, I have major non-friend feelings for him. And the worst thing is, I know he feels the same way. Actually know it for a fact. So if I were 7 years older or he were 7 years younger, we'd already be together. But we can't be and it's driving me insane. So many people have drilled it into my head that it would be disgusting if we got together because of the huge age gap, so now even if we both wanted to, I couldn't be with him because every single second of the relationship, I'd feel like I was doing something morally wrong. Not only that, but our lives just wouldn't be compatible. He's a full grown man, looking for his own house, has a 9 to 5 job, etc. I'm an adult by law, but definitely not an adult in any other meaning of the word. It just wouldn't work. I mean we have fun when we're together because we have so many common interests. We can talk about anything from music to politics to religion to our future plans about getting married and having kids (not with eachother, just our plans in general.) And when we talk about those things we seem so compatible, but in reality, we're just not. It's driving me crazy. I won't say I love him because that seems a bit extreme, but it's something close to that. I can't be just friends with him anymore, but I also know that we can't date so I am completely stuck. And you know what the weirdest thing is? I know a girl in my dorm who is 19 and engaged to a 41 year old man. And absolutely nothing about that relationship strikes me as odd. They are in love and seemingly good together, and I can't say a bad thing about it. I know a 21 year old guy who is fixing to marry his 35 year old girlfriend, and once again, I think their relationship is perfectly acceptable. But to me, me being with a guy 7 years older is just wrong. I don't know why. I don't know what to do. I need some serious guidance.