Mikey2322

Im extremely frustrated with this situation now. I still dont know if she talks to him anymore after that last email. She tells me she has not but im pretty sure she has. She just wont tell me b/c she even said "next time he contacts me i wont tell you b/c you will get hurt again." Then she went to that cafe where he basically lives at. A place she rejects to ever going together but nonhesitantly goes with her friends. And ofcourse when i say anything about it she gets upset at me with her defensive remarks. All this has once again made me paranoid. She was up early today, showered up and ready (something she wont do until she knows shes going out) to do something since morning. I called her once and she quickly wanted off the phone conversation, i realized she was on the other line (she didnt tell me). Then i tried contacting her for an hour after that but she would not pick up. I left a voicemail and she only texted me back. After a while she called me and was upset that i was asking questions... Since she goes through my phone, i went through hers and there were no numbers at the time i called her (when she was on the line). She admitted she was on the line but with her cuzn. Its too bad her cuzns number wasnt in her phone. Im guessing it was her ex or another guy who called and she deleted the information. She makes me feel like im an idiot assuming things and asking her questions. She gets really defensive everytime. I dont want to ask her Q's, but i dont want her to lie to me either. Ive done a good job holding off and keeping my trust issues inside, but ive become good enough at knowing when somethings going on. I know shes up to something...

I thought i was doing well but i hit rock bottom again. Last night she made plans to go out with her frieds (after not seeing any for a month). That was totally cool but what she did startled my mind again. Theres a rest/cafe nearby where we dont go to b/c her EX is there almost every night. She always refuses to go there when we are out, well it turns out she none hesitantly goes to that place last night. I get upset and try to talk to her about it after but then she goes off on me about being too over protective. And once again she turns all defensive. Do i not have a right to be upset at that? I mean she wont go to that place with me but she goes without me. Clearly she knows her EX goes there and most likely he would be there (she says he was not). I dont think he was there but i think its wrong what she did (especially since we know her EX is still looking to get her back; above). Now she started giving me crap about being too controlling and that b/c of this now shes going to go out with her friends more frequently. I cannot even have a decent conversation with her if im upset without her turning it around and saying dumb things. Also after that email incident with her EX, she claims she had not even responded to him. But i honestly think they are in contact at least via emails and shes keeping it away from me.

Well ive thought of that, she is acting very tough in the situation. Although she tells me she loves me constantly, if i gave her an ultimatum like that she will just get really mad and say find break up with me. I think its wrong whats going on, but she tells me she feels bad for him. She says he is grieving badly now that he knows she is gone. She doesnt really talk to him (unless its completely behind my back but i doubt it) but its obvious he is going to try to make her feel bad to get back with him. What is she supposed to do? She said she would take care of it, she has not emailed him back and she doesnt know if she is. She also told me today that i have nothing to worry about and that she would never go to him. Yes it would backfire in this situation for sure. She doesnt trust me at times thats for sure. Right at the beginning of our relationship some girls would call me and she went mad about that. So i pretty much changed my number! She did get calls from guys before but they pretty much stopped. From time to time she will go through everything in my phone. She is also a very jealous person and she has a problem with anxiety sometimes. Now i dont know exactly how to handle this. Ive left her alone about the situation hoping she will resolve it herself. She reassured me today that it will all stop soon and that her future is with me.

Well she has broken up with him and gotten back with him several times in the past. He only realizes her worth after she starts to move on then he tries to get her back. I think this is whats happening, although she showed me this email, i feel as though she talks to him more then i know. She is very defensive about him and instead of reassuring me things are ok she was just talking about how much he cares for her. I believe i did handle it the wrong way but i just got that feeling that things might go wrong if her ex keeps contacting her like this. Understandable we have been together a short time but we dont do anything without each other (even if its her nails or hair etc..). We are together every moment its possible, and we have talked about serious things. We have gone to every family gathering etc.. This has become a very fast serious relationship. Im not too controlling over her, she checks my phone all the time, calls numbers that are on my phone to check up etc... If i were to miss a call from her, she would get upset meanwhile she tends to not pick up 50% of my calls to her. At times i do feel like she is annoyed and i need to give her space. I know how it goes with the Ex, i dropped mine pretty easy but i know it was a different situation. I did not have a problem with them talking before but now its very obvious her Ex is pretty much begging for her. The card and emails are very indicative of his motives and that is whats bothering me. Also when i ask her about it she gets very defensive about the situation. I know i feel alot of my feelings b/c of my damn Ex. I wish i never had to go through that but now i know it wasnt love and i really do love this girl im with. I do trust her, at least i tell myself i do. I just dont trust the guy anymore and his intentions are very disrespectable (he knows about us). I think she is being upfront i just hope my instincts are incorrect this time.

Ok well i thought i would as for some help b/c i cant sleep over this. Here goes.. I came out of a 5 year relationship 10 months ago, she cheated on me for awhile and i did not know. I had feelings she was doing something and they all came true. Well now i met a girl through friend and she has been my GF for the past 3 months. Ive been with her everyday for the last 3 months and ive never felt like this (even in my 5 year relationship). I love her to death already. Anyways, she also had a 5 year relationship that broke up just recently before me. She said they fought everyday and broke up way too much so they had a mutual break up. Heres the problem, her Ex contacts her on Holidays (calls) way too much, for her birthday he left her a card expressing intense emotions. He said he loved her and cries for her b/c he can never love another girl. My GF said she will never get back with him but yet she goes on defensive when i ask about him. Well now he sent her an email, basically crying to her about how much he loves and cannot live without her. She actually printed it and came to my car and showed me. She could have easily kept it a secret. Well i got upset with this email and she got right back defensive and started to get mad at me. She said she would take care of the issue herself but i really dont think she will stop talking to him. She saw that i was really hurt over the situation but it seemed like she didnt care. Also after this email thing, she talked about taking things slower now. Now im tripping that shes thinking about her EX. She told me she loves me and would never break up with me etc... Any help is appreciated, thanks!