raheal_akh

thanks a lot for that punch. I tried not to cry for the last few days or just few tears. I cried a lot today in the car for some reason. the songs played on the radio were describing somewht Wht i was going thru. I thot abt hangin with friends, but for some reason ill just ruin it for them too. I want to be alone for sometimes,nobody knws wht happened except for may be u guys at the forum. My life has just fallen apart. I know I had something not unlucky ppl hav. but its just moving away from me. secretly i am hoping she wud return to me, after all the intimate moments we hav spent together. It has just got me so emotionally attached and no matter how hard i try i cant let it go. i just cant. is it a normal feeling ?. I was thinking shall i call her and discuss if we can come up to some mutual agreement. but it scares me, wht if it doesnt happen. Today is the 5th day ever since she explained me the reason y we cant be together and I havnt had any contact with her for the past 3 days and it hurts like hell. Every time my mobile rings my heart says its her only to find out its some one else.

find something pretty weird. the other day when she broke up with me. she asked me to delete all of her emails and pictures so that it reduces the pain for me. I was just checking my inbox as i had few of her emails i did send to her. they werent there.seems like she just came in my account and deleted them. well the most obvious reason cud be her thinking i may use against her. I wud never do that. i am not a loser. It feels even worse, whts up her mind. I wish she understand who i really am. i hav stepped into the 4th day of breakup and its not getting easy at all and after knowing wht just happened it feels even worse. I love her like anything wud cos her harm in any way. i hav set her free and respecting her wishes in every way i can. I pray things are back together and this time much better. thank you guys for ur support. It just make me reaslise i am not alone. Agh it hurts so bad. I hav no contact with her during the last 4 days though when i went online the first 2 days very small conversation. I didnt go online as it was tempting and at the same time hurting. trying to keep myself buzy making me forcefully sit infront of the TV. Cant let a person who u hav ben for 4 years that easily. i dnt think so i ever wud. and even if i do. there is going to be an empty gap a fear that i can never over come, as this was the only relationship i hav. seems an eternal one to me.i hope it is.

I cant let go thinking abt her. Was she emotionally stressed that she let me go. I know she loves me like crazy but she has emotional issues too. She has become extremely sensitive during the past 6 months. 3rd Day goes in and i am wishing she calls up and says that she changes her mind and it was just an emotional hype she was going thru all this while and she is letting it out of her mind and body.

thanks for the advice, i may not hav mentioned it. he asked for a week to decide that was like 2 months back. i gave her a month to decide with minimum contact during that time. I went on vacation without telling her.this gave her another extra 2 weeks. she tired hard and found out where i was. I came back and she welcomed me. we had small talks after that that was at the beginning of this week. last night as i mentioned she sent me msg online as soon as i went online to which i replied. well i am giving her all the time, i am not saying i am forgetting her. I love her so dearly and want her back. i dnt wana push her away by being needy. as i said i am respecting her wishes. I pray to Lord that she comes back to me... may be her feelings or interest at the moment towards me have faded away...i hope she gets them back before its too late. she was shocked to see i guess how well i took up the breakup thing.

cudnt stick on to NC, went online she initiated the talk asking her: hi How are you Wrong question to ask me: not great but ok how abt your self her: yeh i am fine too (just casual short talk) her: Thanks for talking and understanding and not getting mad at me me: I am respecting your wishes me: I have to make a move her: I wont stop you I made it look quick short and closed the conversation. It seems like, it really ended. perhaps not !! only time will tell. planning to go for a NC for some time. Wud it be the right thing to do. Plz advice.

just to add something. last night she also asked me to delete all the pictures email i hav of her cos they wud make things even more painful for me together with wishing me best of luck and getting the right mate some day.

thanks for the response there. you are right. its probably more than the family issue and family issue came out as a surprise too 3 months back. though she always said she wud try to adjust with my family once we get married but 2 days back she said. "I knw a girl paves her way, but my way is not paved at all." As i told you i never wanted a break-up. She wanted to meet up for the last time having said all that on the msn and wanted me to stay in touch. I disagreed with it ! as i found it cheap for her to breakup with me over msn despite of meeting me and then discussing wht she has for us. You are right we have communications prb lately too. its just like we never got a chance to talk in detail. I was on Msn today with 'Appear offline' Status. She showed up, hasnt blocked me. I didnt get any offline msgs any emails. she left. Well i am very shy kind of guy specially when it comes to 'Girls' . cant express my feelings well. She was the only girl i felt so comfortable talking to and cud talk abt anything. I am also worried it may hav to do something with her health, she is hiding and trying to get away from me due to that. She apologized for her behavior as well 2 days ago and how she has ben behaving ever since september and really asked me to forgive her like a kid. I hope we get back together soon. cos life has fallen apart. Please advice on 'if she calls, how to make her speak abt other issues'.

I hope some 1 reads my post and answers. my GF broke up our 4 years relationship last night on msn. we both were 19 when we started our relationship. It was my first relationship and we got hooked up after she broke with her ex who was my friend too, but turned out to be a loser. Every relationship had ups n downs. In the beginning she wasnt sure if she can commit to me but hinted me to stay and became committed. a year ago we got aparted as she went to UK for her higher studies. It was a difficult moment but we both tried to cope up with it. Lots of things went on happening. the biggest of all we cudnt really see each other anymore. she even was unsure if we shud be together when she was there, but overcome it by opting to be with me.we had couple of arguments that were purely my faults result of my insecurities that affected her physical health as well. "spotting" due to extreme tension build up caused during that moment. I never meant it to be that way however if we werent distant it wudnt have occurred. i tried to take a back step, went on changing my self. but everytime she used to get upset it wud result in "spotting" (vaginal bleeding). I was scared to death. she finally came back finishing up her higher studies last september 2005. She began acting strange. we met only couple of times. I just felt all that time that things are not going in the right direction. and then one day I asked her if i can send my parents to her place. back in late november. and she wasnt not sure then, she needed some time to think abt us. so she had a month break to decide if she wants to be with me or not. well her reason not to be with me was my family for some reason. well i really gave her all the space she needed by a moderate NC, i took a small vacation my self and during which NC. she didnt knw abt my vacation as she hadnt come back from her month's vacation as yet. She tried hard and found out where did i go to and when wud i come back. I came back last thursday and she greets me with a welcoming msg.I didnt reply. In the evening I get her call which i attended. We just talk abt casual stuff and ends the call. next day which was sunday 21st 2007. she comes on Msn talks abt trivial stuff. I ask her that she owes me an answer and if she is willing to give it to me now and she decided to tell to it me by meeting on monday 22nd 2007. we were suppose to meet yesterday but she drops the plan of meeting up and apologizes for it. I was very direct and didnt create a big fuss, though she found it to be a bit cold. Last night she came back on msn and ended our relationship and gave me the reason that she cant compromise with my family, and she can neither cut me from my family cos it will be unfair to me. In her words she mentioned that "It may sound cheap but if i can be in touch with her" after this.and i can talk to her in my low moments to get support. i said i cant be friends or ex and get in touch and she also mentioned abt the possiblity of seeing each other with our mutual friends. to which I said "you dnt hav to worry abt it, u wont hav to". she appreciated all the things I did for her. (the most prominent one). and wrote "I get the girl who knows the true worth of me". and I get to be happy with her. she wanted to talk more but then I just wished her all the best and said "I hope you get wht u want in life" and said "bye". i got her last msg on msn asking me to wait but I left. I love her like hell. and during the past 1 month I hav noticed some good changes in me as well, perhaps they are late to be noticed by any one. i was in touch with enotalone so DID Nothing to screw things up, yeh couple of phone calls which turned out to be disappointment last month. I havnt contacted her since last night. I am a mess trying to cope up with things. cant really give up thinking abt her and just imagining that she broke up with me cos of my family as mentioned by her. I dnt knw if i will ever hav her back. i wish i knew then wht i know now. will i get her back. will she be ok after a while. will we be back together.? NC is the harddest part. had the longest night ever.