raheal_akh

Thanks for reply once again..... You are right i wud jst go crazy... newaz yesterday was Valentine's day my Gf came and wished me Valentines day to which i said this day doesnt hold any importance for me, it is like yesterday, day b4 yesterday and the day that was there 3.5 ago...(Remember thats when she broke up). She was like It doesnt matter if we r together or not, but dnt say all those things on this day... she felt i was taunting her...n sure i wasnt... She asked me how many girls proposed me today.. i knw cudnt get more worse than this...to which i said y do u bother, how many guys proposed to you today to which she said, No one, she is at home all the time how can some1 propose her if she doesnt go out n meet ppl... anywaz she said that i was mat at her or something... and not talkn to her properly...well i guess she was probably pissed off at me for not replyin to her last SMS msgs as i mentioned earlier. I once again mentioned that we hav talked abt it, that it hurts me and talking to her makes me go back to square one..to which she said how can that make me go back to square one WHEN I KNOW SHE CANT BE MINE...well that statement was hammer in the GUT... she said i knw u dnt want to be friends with me, but we are acquaintance. and she cant ignore that fact and not contacting me was impossible for her... I once again told her my feelings that we can go on continuing wht we had or stop contacting each other as i want to move on... she said this is like a DO or Die situation... I also said that she is jst hurting me by sayin all this, and she didnt want to bring another half of herself in form of another girl... to which she said stop blammin me for something i dnt do, It is only me who can do such low things... she left saying BRB ' I sent her Offline msgs, once again tellin her tht i am not mad at her, its like i cant move n stuff and wht she wants right now, i am not ready to give it to her at present.... I also wrote that I love her and that is the biggest clue for anybody to understand that I am not mad at her and hav forgiven her for wht she did.... I left after that....in anger rage, wht ever u may call it... I came to the office today... i hav recd a mail from the 2nd Girl, tellin if i m pissed of at her and i didnt reply to her LAST email claiming that i hav benn hacked... I also get Offline msgs from my GF this is wht they are....................... last night I spent in anger, I was mad at her that how can she do all these things to me, to wht lvl can she go to hurt me, i did mention it to her as well in our conversation. I said it to myself, I am not going back to her after all that no matter wht... I deserve better. Its my life, and i wudnt let some1 else steer it. how can some 1 be so heartless and feelingless... Today when i woke up in the morning, I literally was abt to cuss her, but i didnt, I do love her and i dnt want to see something bad happenin to her... I came to the office i recd her Offline msgs, which again puts me back to miserable position i was in yesterday... these were her MSGS : Sorry for lettin u read all this.. her: i completely understand i think i was just being selfish and yeah i dont know where did this outrageous thought cross your mind that I am acting to be this other Girl "S". I mean you talk to her .........it's ok with me i mean i dont have the right to speak in ur life anymore plz dont blame me for something i havnt done i dont know if u trust me or not but really it doesnt matter anymore Take it this way wht ever i did was for the best for two of us. I explainied you few reasons. Few are not appropriate to tell and arent a mst to tell jst knw this, just because a person says that he or she does not want to be with u doesnt necessarily mean that the person doesnt love u You hav to take few decisions for the sake of LOVE. even though u experience pain due to that. thats wht i can really say as far as I am hurting you by talking to you is concerned ........ believe me u have no clue what's going on inside me jst that i want to meet you once. I want to see you n fill u in as much as i can. i know u hate me for all that i have done but just remember that there is and always be a person in this world who wishes that u get all the happiness in life and always wants the best things to happen to u and who cares very much for u and who loves u. i will not contact u after this except to just fix our very last meeting which is totally upto u if u want to meet or not if u want to meet just e-mail me that u want to meet me as well and if u dont want to meet me then just remain silent and i'll understand myself that u dont want to anyways do try to meet me......... there is too much to be said and done. I knw I am asking for something completely not right, jst try n giving it to me thinking of it as my last request.and try to meet me like u used to... There is no obligation,however if u decide to meet me plz be like ur OLD Self. Even If you didnt come, I wudnt hav any complains, I know its very difficult. but even though Grant it thinking of it as my last wish. I wudnt ask for anythin after that. infact i wudnt be able to ask for anything else after this. thanks a lot for coming into my life I knw we hav handled our relationship in a childish way.we fought a lot, cried a lot. but when i think of it, we hurt each other, but we gave a lot of moments of joy to each other as well. we have had some very beautiful moments together which i will always have in my mind even after death btw i dnt knw if ur memory remains with you after Death. but if memory stays I will remember everything. Plz forgive me for all the bad things. I hav hurt u a lot..forgive me for all of them. I knw wether u say it or not. i hav hurt u a lot, but i had few issues, say that I hav become selfish. i love u very very much Goodbye do indicate if we shall meet or not bye take care Well Wandering_sword reading after all this, I really dnt want to make any mistake here, umm wht shall i do, I am being put up in a situation I am not trained to handle...This jst doesnt reduce the pain for me infact elevates it. I m confused, dnt knw how to respond to it...She claimed that she is not the other girl. i knw i can trust her, but yet the other girl wudnt jst try to get in my pants within two days, like marking her mails With the word 'Love' in the end... I recd an email from the other girl too pretty much at the same time... I dnt knw if any1 has ever ben put up in this situation or not...Plz help

I agree with beStronbehappy...my gf broke with me 3 n a half weeks ago..we had LC, though i never called or initiated... My ex came on Msn to wish me Happy Valentine day!! to which i said, today doesnt hold any importance to me, it was same yesterday , day before yesterday and 3.5 weeks ago. to which she said, so wht if we r not together or not... alteast today i dnt say such a thing... Lame i knw... I was genuine enuf to show my feelings that we can either continue with wht we had or i wud appreciate if we cut all the contacts... she was like i knw u dnt want to be friends with me (i mentioned abt the same feelings b4 y we cant be friends). and she said You can I cant be urs... but we are acquaintance, and jst to ignore or forget that, she cant do that... I knw it cant sound more lame than this and at the same time hurting.... guess that was my part of the story today... still hurt...all you ppl out thr be Strong, we all can do it, we all deserve som1 better who cares for our emotions and feelings... Happy valentine Day to all in Love, to all the sad souls out there including me, to all those ppl who wanted to be with each other but situation didnt let them... good night every 1.

Hey thats so nice of you so PM me. well a lot of things hav happened so far. didnt want to put up on the forum was trying to deal with them myself...but guess wht I cant ignore tellin em to u cos i knw u care. so No I hav never met her parents to be honest though she met my whole family...long story short she was looking for the right time... In the past few days, i kinda assume she was chekin my email n stuff, I am assuming it i m not sure, so i changed my Pwd for the account, few days back i made a profile on the orkut, tryin to get back to old friends havnt heard from in a while.I recently posted up some of my photos on Orkut. as i made a profile on Orkut, a girl approached me online claiming that she has ben to same college as my Gf. now i suspect it may be my GF doing the trick... I did the same thing with her long time back, (but we were together then). i ll tell u abt it some other time. anwayz this girl started tellin me abt her stuff asking me abt mine...and towards the end she claimed she knew my GF, told me abt her like how was in she in the college n stuff (most of the stuff i already knew abt so no new info). on the 2nd day we again met online on gmail...my gf came on msn too, i was talkin to both of them in parrallel and i asked my gf if she knew this girl and she said yes... anywaz I tired talkin to the girl who approached me on orkut, she claimed her name was S.... well all the time i was assumin it was my GF, i jst wanted to knw whts on her mind and wht is that she is really lookin for.... my GF b4 leaving asked me when do i want to meet her, she said that our mutual friend will drop her to a spot from where i can pick her up, so i said ok since there is a 3rd person involved in it, u let me knw when things are arranged and ill tell u from myside. she requested me that when we meet, we meet each other the same way as we used to for the time we see each other. well upon that I said do u jst want that for few moments or for the life time. and she said we ll talk abt it when we meet we. she left in a while from the msn and S was still there on gmail. I continued to talk to S...and questioned her out of no where that If she was in my situation wht wud that mean... S Said it depends, she asked me did my GF say a direct NO to me or I think that it was verbally but she still had feelings for you. to which i said I dont knw. and it doesnt matter it hurts the same. S suggested that a girl wud normally do it in 4 situations. 1) she doesnt love you 2) her parents are pressurizing 3) She is going through some prbs she cant share 4) If she thinks she is not worthy to be with the guy. she said may be she is having some prb due to which she has to leave you... To which i said i am not a kind of person who will leave som1 cos that person is going thru some prb. if the other person claims to love you then they shud share their prbs with u. well she said if she is urs she will come back to you. and i asked her shall I wait until then and shudnt i move on. S said yeh i wud recommend u to move on. I asked her if S believe in true love. she said no and that It only happens in movie... to which i said yes if u r with a person for 4 years I think parents issue is out of the drawer. to which S said it depends... She asked me abt my family background then... S told me later that she left her bf cos he cheated on her though she liked her family n stuff. I asked S that girls can cheat on their bf too. and she said some gurls do, but as far as i knw ur GF, she wudnt do such a thing. I was like yeh sure, u left u bf cos he cheated on you...wht did u do with his family, did u ask them to wipe of ur tear cos their son did such a low act...she didnt hav an answer for that... well anywaz she asked me so when r u guyz meeting up. she said may be my gf wants to break of with me on a sweet note. she said that if u think my gf has feelings for me, be nice to her, and if I think that my gf is not bothered, I shudnt be bothered too... to which i said there is no such thing called breaking with som1 on a sweet note. it hurts the same...she said yeh may be. (i knw swandering sword, i was weak there, but those were my honest feelings n i wanted her to knw that).. well S left after few minutes. Next day I was on msn and gmail too, neither my GF showed up nor S... i get a msg on my cellphone from my GF..i m quoting this was the msg "hey sweetheart. Missin u vry mch. i m havin such a bad sinking feeling.i hope u r alr8". to which i didnt reply. I felt like picking up the phone and callin her and seein if she is alr8 but i controlled my emotions, i didnt call her. Next day which was yesterday, I was on the gmail and msn, neither my GF and S showed up. in a while i got another msn from GF. "Hi! u sleeping. Reply if u awake"... i didnt respond to the msg. I m jst worryin that she may be sick or something, am really confused at the moment. The situation is completely getting out of my hand here. srry for the long POST !!

so today i went online, was talking to one of our mutual friend after a long time. After a while SHE appeared online and initiated the talk. she said she was trying to call me today but my phone was not responding. she said she jst wanted me to know that meeting tomorrow or day after tomorrow wont be possible as her aunt is coming at her place. I said yeh ok np. well she appreciated the picture i had put up on the msn. i said thanks. after that I said I hav to wake up early in the morning and i hav to leave. and i left. i did it purposely.wht i am trying to do here is 2 give her space right now and let her think. one of the reason of me leaving was that our mutual friend was online and i wanted them to talk 2 each other as well. she wud sure feel better after talking to our mutual friend. u knw the girls talk.

thanks for responding, was waiting for ur response. well once again the reason she gave me for breaking up was her unwillingness to spend her life with my family after we get married. she didnt mean no contact, but yeh living separately. when she called me up 2 days back, she said that she cant stop thinking abt me and keeps on wondering where i wud be, wht am i doing and stuff. to which i said that if u r thinking that we stay as friends, its not possible and i gave her the reason y. she gives me a call later in the night and we did talk abt getting back though i initiated this topic. I said it b4 we go complete NC if she is willing to giving it a try. to which she said that she thinks 'I am worth it'. I suggested that we shud meet up sometimes to discuss wht went wrong and how things can be improved. we sit down and analyse the whole situation. she pretty much agreed to it. she said if we can meet on msn online the same night and discuss when we hav to meet. she said that basically if something cud be done so that we dont get to stay with my family afterwards. she didnt mean no contact, but something like staying far yet close. well things got mixed up. i really dnt knw from there onwards. It was really kinda of mixed. and when u ask me abt my assumption abt her health condition. yes there were many hints. i even asked her to sware upon me and tell me if she was fine and she didnt, she was extremely polite to me and kept on asking me if i wud help her when she needed it. i didnt give her an answer for that. she even mentioned that she needs to leave cos her fingers are 'bleeding' by typing which she immediately changed by saying 'hurting'. her family has kept a 24 hours maid too, which was the biggest clue as she lives with her mom and dad. her maid interrupted us couple of times asking if she needed something. she asked me to make a promise to her that i wud be happy no matter wht. and asked me to send her my wedding pics and i hav wonderful kids. to which i said the kids can still look like you. to which she said she doesnt think so. I asked her if there is any proposal for her in the process to which she said no. and she wud not until she let me go completely from her heart. she said she has gained weight too. which is highly unlikely, cos i hav never seen her gaining weight. i joked that u can come up to that weight when u have a baby inside you. and she said "baby or nothing". I was like wht do u mean you are a girl, and she said yes offcourse offcourse. well these were the biggest hints some1 can get. I know there is something she isnt telling me. In my previous post i told you one night we discussed her past. she took it in the wrong sense and since then she started to have spotting problem and she became hyper sensitive to all the things i said. spotting is an abnormal vaginal bleeding between preiods. if u read more abt it u wud knw. she even saw the doctor during that and doctor asked her not to take stress and told her that she should tell her bf to take care of her. offcourse we were distant apart then. she was in UK doing her masters. this happened 6 months ago. and i made sure i didnt hurt her. but after that incident she wud react to the smallest thing and started to bleed cos of them.if vaginal bleeding prolongs for too long a girl may lose the ability to 'conceive' a child a ever. It was mixed, i really cudnt get anything out of it. i asked her the same question couple of times, and i got confusing answers for them. she said we hav the minimum level of compatibilty required by two ppl to be together. she said she doest want us to be happy for a while.she said that she knows she cant keep my happy.she was like I need some1s help to make me stick to my decision as it is in the best interest for both us and later on in my life i wud agree on to it. she made a promise that she wudnt call me or disturb me again and she will happy to know if i hav moved on. she also told me that in the past she has ben slightly physical with one of her bfs. like holding hands. she said i am telling u all this cos i want u to hate me and it wud make it easy for u to move on. she said she also spoke to her last ex. well to make the story short, they thot they had feelings for each other but then they mutually decided it was jst an infatuation and they became friends. during my relationship i asked her to cut all the contacts with this person.and she cut all the connections with him. she said in her conversation that there was nothing between them and he was going to USA to do MBA with his GF. she said today i jst feel like telling u all the true things. finally i asked her if we can meet up sometimes as i may be getting on with the new job. and she stopped me intially not to go so far, wht if she needed me to be present at times. i said I hav do it for myself and conquer my fear of living alone.she wished me all the best for it. she didnt agree to the meeting part then and said whts the point in meeting, i felt she doesnt want to meet me cos she wont be able to keep on hiding wht she is hiding. I said we can still be couple together and work out things together. she did mention earlier on that she has always loved me and hav feelings for me. and wud love me even after death. and i was the best thing ever happened to her and i was 1/6 part of her life. giving me a clue that she may not be here for long. I dnt knw its so confusing. and i told her my honest feelings too abt her and my willingness to work things out if she wanted it too.i left by saying that cos msn started to hav some prb. i got her offline msgs next day that she wud let me know if we are meeting or not. day b4 yesterday i went online she was online. she didnt initiate the conversation while i was online, and after i changed my status to "appear offline" .she sent me msgs immediately saying her: hi u thr ? I didnt repond to them. havnt go any calls from her as yet too. didnt see her online after that too. today is the 3rd day since our last conversation. I know it has become a long post. But to be honest i am so much confused. any advice. thanks for reading the post.

no body has any comments here to help me with my current situation. I am maintaining distance and doing NC from my side since then. though i went online yesterday when she was on the MSN. I stayed there for a while and she didnt initate the conversation. I changed my status to "appear offline" and she sends me msgs her u thr. I didnt respond to the msgs as yet. I am really worried abt her. as she told me in our last conversation that i was the best thing ever happened to her and she has always loved me,still loves me and will love me even after death.she said that I pray for her several times. I know i got mixed signals so not drawing any conclusion here. I feel for her. I dnt knw whts her current state of mind and her health condition. I wish we get back together soon. I hav cried so much since our last conversation. I hate myself for the state i am in. I want to call her and ask her how she is doing. I knw i love her and she may need me as a friend right now. but If i be there for her, i wud never be able to heal up. may be after a while she moves on and i will be where i am right now. I am so confused. I miss her in my arms. I wish i can take all her pain away.

we both are 23, yesterday was a break down for both of us as she called and i cudnt resist but to tell her my honest feelings. that she is hurting me by contacting me and she has to understand that we cant be friends cos i hav feelings for her and this way i wudnt heal. i sent her a msg after that conversation re stating wht i said in words. she gave me a call later. saying "I cant stop thinking abt wht u r doing. it seems like u hav got over me but i cannot. I still think where r u who are u with and stuff". anywaz I asked her if the reason for leaving me was the family issue. initially she did agree on that reason to which i said that something cud be done for it. anywaz i said if she was willing to give it another try. and "she was like i guess u r worth it. No matter wht i do deep down i knw the real worth of u". i said alright lets meet up sometimes to discuss wht needs to be changed in our relationship as talking on the msn or phone is not appropriate. I went later on the msn yesterday night to discuss when are we going to meet up. we had a long conversation for abt 2.5 hours. and she did mention she wants to give it another shot. i really got mixed signals. She said in the beginning that if i can do something abt family thing and us living separately. to which i said it can be resolved but soon after a while these things started to jump in. she said i knw i took this decision but i knw that deep down i hav the power to change it. it jst seemed that she is hiding something from me related to her health. and i am seriously concerned. I continue to ask her direct question. if she wants this relationship to be back. she was honest after a while abt it and asked me If i will i be ok with something like "if we r together for a while but not for long enuf". she said she is not sure at present and she doesnt want to break my heart again.well she kept on asking will i help her when she wants it, and that if i am the only person who can help her. she wants some1s help in sticking to her decision as this is in the best interest for both of us she mentioned. she said "we can be happy for a while after wards but it wudnt last long. as there is a minimum level of compatibility required for two ppl to be together which we dnt hav". she said she loves me and i was the best thing ever happened to her. I was very firm in telling her that i hav ben hurt and will never be able to recover if we stay in contact like this. she kept on insisting on me promising her that i wud be happy no matter wht and i wud send her my wedding pictures when i get married some day. I knw her, it has something to do with her health that she is trying to hide from me. and i want to knw it so bad. she wudnt speak abt it. it really went in to crying session. i knw there is some serious prb that she is not willing to share. I told her i had an interview in the other city and if i got accepted i wud be moving there. and she was like dnt go there. we already are distant apart it wud be further increase the distances. to which i said, i need to conquer my fear of being alone and i need to do that for myself. as i told her all my feelings. she promised that she will never try to contact me and want me to be happy in life no matter wht. she said she talked to her ex- too, they were together for a while but went back to being friends.they talked to each other while she was with me. and i had asked her to cut all her contacts with him when she was with me and she did. she said she has gotten in contact with him lately and he is going to states for his mba with his GF. In the end i asked her since i will going away and dnt knw if we can meet up some times. she said whts the point but if something comes up she will let me knw. i want to see her cos i knw there is something abt her health she is hiding from me. which might be the reason y is she doing all this. that is one of the reason i want to see her. i cried a lot today, and i knw it will be for long. cos she did mention that she loves me and hav feelings for me. she was extremely honest to me yesterday. here i am today all messed up, dnt knw wht to do. shaking currently not knowing whts coming up ahead. i really wish i can knw wht is that she is hiding from me.

hi, thanks for your wonderful advice. well 1st of all we belong to the same culture. so no prbs there. I got offline msgs from her yesterday too her: u thr ? Wht u r saying here makes sense I would really appreciate if i can hav a sample of wht i can send to her getting the msg accross. Today is the 12th day of our breakup. i am having difficulty dealing with it. you guys are right, if she wants me back she has to say it. and offcourse it will be an axe on my heart if this is all to get herself back to feet only in the end to find her walking away with some1 soon. never-too-late since u hav ben in a similiar situation, tell me more abt it so that. u said u felt that u shudnt hav done wht u did. didnt u want to go back to him. didnt u apologize to him and give ur relationship another chance. and btw we belong to eastern culture, so leaving one and getting on to another one isnt a tradition here like happens in most part of the western society. thats not always the case here. though this was my first relationship and she had 3 before me...but they were immature ones... so i m not really ignoring wht u r stating.

my nik on msn today was "happy birthday, some1s turning 22 today" when I went online using (in a call mode). She contacted me on the msn and this was the conversation we had. her: hi who's turning 22 me: hi no u dnt knw her: oh ok girl or boy ? me: will talk to u latr in a call right now her: oh sorry i didnt realize sorry for disturbing me: its ok how r things with u her: u finish up ur call ll talk to u after that when your call ends, do tell me me: umm is there something important u want to talk abt ? her: No wht cud be important newaz that was the point where i didnt give her a respond on the msn. she left after a while. I didnt initiate the conversation. but i jst felt like going online. I knw it was a bad move, i knw. and u can criticize me for it too. but my objective actually was 2 go online and if we hav conversation today. i apologize for all the mistakes i did in our relationship which when i think off right now. a Loser by definition wud do all those thing. I prefectly matched a profile of a loser. If you hav read the article on a loser. and I knw i hav grown up as a person. but jst realizing the fact no matter wht happens in the end we two shud hav good memories to lure. its so hard to completely break the contact with a person u hav ben with for 4 years. though i was doing a complete NC from my side. i gave her a miss call once as i mentioned in my previous post during the 10 days. she initiated all the other conversations. I think I owe her an apology i guess. but more important is that i continue to grow as a person and keep getting better day by day.

i knw it sounds silly. but i knw u r saying it for a reason,not known to me at present. I ll do go there and hopefully make it a practice from now on. btw how do u knw abt the places here. hav u ben here ? I was thinking on something that when things get intimate between the two of u. u get so emotionally attached to the other person that it becomes so hard to let go. isnt true. Old times are just memories at present. I hope things get better with time and i start to see the light on the opposite side. Every1 around me are worried for me at work cos i m unable to hide my feelings from them no matter how hard i try. I am not really good at display. Whts in my heart is outside. I knw its thing i need to work on. but that s the way i am.always hav ben. Thanks wandering_sword once again.

I guess the abuser document is a perfect doc for any body to read and analyis his/her situation. its not just the fault of the abuser but the victim too. again heathly, self-confident ppl attract healty ppl. We all need to work on our weaknesses ourselves b4 looking 4 some 1 else to complement it. It doesnt work like that. Be strong urself. I hav ben thru a similiar situation as well. she is libra and and i am taurian. I wudnt generalise it but Libran demand perfection which is not easy to find. when u pamper ur women too much it gives her a chance to mis treat u. Its true. It really is. pamper her when she aint expecting it. And again every relationship shall be based on trust,honesty and respect. Either one is missing, things will fall apart after a while. I thot I wud settle for her bad behaviour, but now I am giving 2nd thots too cos we are distant apart, hav ben in NC for 10 days. Its really hard cos some how i developed dependancy on her after we got intimate. I deeply love her but b4 I put blame on her. It was equally at fault too. Not being a strong person emotionally. I hope that helps a bit.!!

hey there. its always good to come back to this forum and check cos I know if no one replies u hav always done so far. and i really thank u for it. I jst saw a bad dream so not in very up mood today as well. I was experiencing anger which i really tried all this while to keep it down the road, but some how driving back to work showed wht was going inside me. Today is the 10th Day of NC. i never knew things are going to be this way. i cudnt survive for a day if we didnt talk, offcourse b4 that if we didnt see each other every single day. Am just wondering how do things change with time. nothing remains the same. I m tryin to keep myself busy. yesterday i went to an old friend of mine who s establishing himself in a business, very ambitious guy and we discussed different things we cud do together. He asked me wht were my future plans for marriage n stuff. and i told him that they look "blurry". things are not working out really with me. and i told him i jst wana keep myself buzy. and he said dnt wrry i hav plans for us which will keep me real buzy. I miss her so much... Didnt reply to the last offline msn messages she sent me 2 days back. i have posted them in my previous reply. I dnt knw even if she misses me or not. Does she even hav feelings for me anymore ? These are questions that are hitting my mind every single second. Since you asked, i am in UAE (united Arab Emirates), Dubai, Weather here is Cool these days (16-24C) but summers are really hot close to (48-50 C)

my heart is sinking as i write dnt knw y... This sinking feeling is going to kill me. Something just keeps on telling me. my limit has come. I cant take it nymore. today is the 9th day of my Complete NC. Though we did talk in between, but never was initiated by me. I miss her to death. Just wonderful things from the past keeps poping up infront of me which just shakes my heart making me realize things are not wht they used to be. its like sudden heart aches, while eating, working. I am trying to be strong. her memories make me weak. it was the only relationship I had. and saying this i dnt think i ll ever hav the courage to love some1 else again in my life if we dnt get back together. I knw me. It ll be just be a real long time for me b4 i even find some1. cos I am not looking for dates to get over her here. I love her and I dnt need some1 to be with me to ease my pain. Simply i dnt want to use some1 to forget her. cos with us, we were friends first and took baby steps towards everything. it wasnt a jump from the start. we knew each other b4 we met. I dnt knw y it took this route in the end. I wish i can get in her arms and share all of my feelings. Make love to her, show her how much i care for her and miss her. It is just a beginning which has no end to it. I feel so powerless. I hav all the strings yet i cant pull them back.

I feel so low today. as there was a movie coming up on one of the channels and the girl in the movie resembled her so much. I just cudnt stop crying... I miss her so much... cant stop thinking abt her. its almost the 9th day today. I know she may not be coming back or its just so early for her to realize. ITs so hard to move on. All i can do right now is sit at my work place and think abt all the good memories we two had...

It may hav ben silly to post up such a question only to realize in the end. that ppl who often visit this site are the heart broken ones as myself. I know not many ppl which are out there together in love often come and visit this site. This made me think that we wudnt get any success story here tonight.

It really did touch my heart. every single word it had u meant it. and i hav no doubt to say that You really love her and understand the true meaning of love. How long hav u guyz ben sepearted for. ? wht happened btw u guyz....

thanks once again for that support. I am getting it when i need it. Here is another update I get offline msgs from her on msn last night. It was like 1:15, so not the time she is online. here is wht she sent me her: hi "sorry for bothering u yesterday " "but u can say I am just so used to coming to u when i am in some problem" "didnt mean to" "but slowly this habbit will go away" "anyways, still thanks for ur time" "and thanks for being so sweet to call me in the night " "i am sorry once again for disturbing u in ur work" "i dont know why i just took u for granted i guess" I feel terrible. I wana say a lot of things here but I knw i just cant. and i knw another thing too. I am not taking out any hidden meanings out of this and taking it exactly how it is. Well it wud be appropriate for me to send her an email telling her how I feel abt all so that i can start on with the process of recovery as you say. I would wait for a day or two. I guess. I had something else in my mind too. that is if i get selected for the other job. right b4 I move I am going to ask her politetly if she wants us to be back together. I dnt knw if that wud be the most apropriate thing to do. But I know by the time I ask her for that I wudnt be having high hopes. Wandering_sword thanks for being there pal for listening to me and posting here. Thanks.

wandering_sword I really appreciate your quick response to all my posts. you were like some 1 who really cared. and I really thank you for this. Though I have realised one thing. She may not be coming back. Cos in the past I hav hurt her so bad that has pushed her away from me and she doesnt want to experience the same pain any more and she come up with a reason to break up with me. I did change my self but may be it was close to a lil too late. Never mind, I did give it a try and the fact is, Wht i hav for her in my heart, I never had it so consistently ever b4. Today I can truly say I love her. I pray that she finds all the happiness in her life. I have nothing against her, I hav no regrets that she said we cant be together cos she cant compromise with my family upto the level any 1 will expect her too. and i wud happily accept her if she comes back to me. I will keep posting here. its a good way of venting out and knowing that there are so many ppl u dnt even know still cares cos they are human. I ll cry a lot today and remember all the good times we two had and all the bad times that cud hav ben avoided. To all of you guys, keep your spirits high and never lose your human element.

well to be honest wht ever you are saying makes sense. I came back and had the NC for today as well if she doesnt call and guess wht I thot of it as like this. She called me like 3 times for it and I was like it may be rude from my side. So i just gave her a miss call just to let her know that Ok I am ready If she wants to call. this was like an hour ago. No call back as yet and I am assuming she wudnt call back. It may be on to her ego now. Wandering_Sword , you know the hardest part is getting to do something against your will, against you nature and try to be some1 u are not... That just made me call her so for the records I wanted that thing to remain there... Ill maintain strict NC. I was wondering incase if she shows signs of coming back. she has to be direct which I know not many ppl wud. wht shud I say to make her speak If she says in an indirect way... I know last monday exactly at this moment I lost my world. Feeling down and wondering If things will ever get back together. I feel like crying a lot.

alr8 she gives me a call as she did manage to format her harddisk and was stuck at a place. she called asking if i am busy and I was like yeh kind of but go ahead and she was like I hav a quick question. and i said it in a firm tone "I think i sent you a msg" and she insisted on saying its something very quick. I was again like call me some times in the evening and then we put down the phone saying bye to each other. We heart was pounding when i was saying all that. guess it wasnt with my tongue. after the phone call ends. I get a msg instantly saying "Sorry". well I am really confused now. I dnt know how to handle the situation. is something being indicated by all this. I am still expecting to hav her call in the evening though and i will answer it and try to sort her prb out. any advice

so i get a call from her few minutes back, which offcourse i didnt pick up as it was just rang twice. perhaps she was expecting i wud call her back. I sent her a msg back instead saying "I m a lil busy right now. Can you call me some times in the evening". and guess wht I kinda anticipated her reaction too. I got a msg back "Sorry. didnt mean to disturb you. I just needed to ask a couple of questions on how to format my computer. I guess I'll Manage it myself. Thanks anyways.". I didnt msg back. well right now I dnt know where things will head on from here. any thot on the current situation. as last time I remember I helped her formating her computer. she did it by herself then. Well once again I want us to be closer not to get us further apart. Guys I need help.

thanks for saying wht i exactly had in mind. I didnt call her when i came back. its like if she wants to call she can call me again too. so here i am today sitting at my work place thinking my phone will ring any moment and i hav decided wht i will do too. which is 2 reject her call and send her a msg saying "i am a lil busy right now can u call me in the evening ?". I hope it doesnt sound rude. cos I really want things to be back together between us but everybody has to learn their lesson as i hav learned mine and learned from my mistakes. Does it make any sense ?

hey after i was coming back from the interview which went excellent. She called me. she had some prb with her Internet not working and wanted me to tell her how to fix it. I told her I am coming from this city where i had my interview and she was like surprised.newaz she asked me 2 call her back when i reach home to which i said I will see when i get back. Please guys tell me shall i call her back or wait for her to call me again. I mean it hurts to know that she is calling up for this and not calling to apologzie for wht she did. I am not taking any meanings out of why she called. She was energetic as she always used to be... Some quick advice please. I dnt want to be harsh but dnt wana be easy giving in as i always was. Please some 1 plz help....!!

I was wondering. If two ppl really loved each other for too long and the feelings for one of them start to dim and he/she break off with u for whtever reason. Do they come back to you. Do they realise how their life was when they were with you. And even when they get back together after the breakup. Do you think things work out better than before. I know it wudnt if both the parties do not acknowledge their mistakes and change them with self realisation.any comments pple.

thanks for the wonderful advice. you are right. I was just thinking in the morning. girls these day needs to hav their independent life once they get married and the current condition is that she wud need to stay with my family which scares her. I had an interview since long which i decided to take it today. its in a different city all together. I am going for it and if i get selected It may change my life and make me more independent and even if she still says No. I guess i ll be in a worse condition i am right now. but u knw wht... I am going to take my chance. atleast thats the best I can do.cos i believe passionate love and great career comes by taking big risk. and i am going for it. wish me luck.