sbay

We met like 9 mo ago online. I was casually seeing other people, no sex, and I thought he was doing the same. We became very close, started talking everyday, on the phone and online. Then I come to find out he's living with a girlfriend!!! I'm a dummy and tried to break it off, but he talked me back into "being friends" We met in real life a couple weeks later, and made out. I had a super strong attraction to him, and we get along like 2 peas in a pod. Found out he was actually engaged to her..... So anyway I moved down there a couple weeks later, for work reasons, but also to be near him just to see what he was like in real life, ended up seeing him like 3 times a week when she was at work. After a few days of this I got fed up, I was still seeing others, but no sex. Then one day a nice guy asked me out, while this guy was out of town with his fiance, so I accepted, and about 3 dates later we got busy, and had a relationship going fairly quickly. I did like the guy enough, he was a sweety, and had fun together mostly i think i did it to peel myself away from this engaged dude.... I ended up seeing them both for about 2 months, that was kinda fun, but seriously a lot of work, and of course they both knew about each other. Anyway, called it quits with bf#1, and he professed his love for me, and if I left he would follow me to the ends of the earth (then why was he still with his fiance???) Moved back home kept in contact with them both. Came down to see both a couple times, bf#1 finally got rid of his fiance.... This all happened quickly in a couple of weeks after I came back home, and I never onced asked him to dump her for me, EVER. In fact after I left i tried to break it off with him so he could decide to leave her on his own without my influence. But he said he really needed my support during that time, because it was so hard a thing for him to do. In hidsight he says it was very dumb to keep seeing her when he obviously didn't want to be with her... So here I am... Its been about 4 mo since he broke up with his fiance, and about 2 mo since that "other female friend" issue, and he supposedly deleted all his contacts on IM. Maybe i just need some more time to let it all sink in. Also, he was cheating on her the whole time they were together, online, met a few girls, I think had sex a few times when she went away for a month and they weren't really together, but never told her. Kept everything a secret, she suppossedly didn't have any passwords to his stuff, and I have them all, lol. Also he has an ex wife who cheated on him multiple times, so he did it back to her a few times....not good. So anyway, the most retarded part of all of this is that I love him, and he says he loves me, and can't imagine life without me, but this trust issue is a huge deal for me to overcome. I'm getting better, I think...but it's almost like I'm just waiting for it to happen to me, and then I'll dump him. That is soooooo not right!

Is it harder to trust when you're in an LDR? He's 31, I'm 32, we are 4 hrs apart and talk all the time, and see ea other every weekend. We started off sorta rocky, and not sure when we really began our relationship. But I'm having serious trust issues, and I'm not sure if they are all in my head or not. How can I tell? My bf liked to talk to women online, like a lot, and even did it when he was with his ex. One of the girls he did it with, they ended up going out a few times, and making out once. Supposedly that was all because that's all he wanted to do. And after we were together, and he professed his love to me... I found out he still talked to her, and she had offered sex to him a couple times, and who knows what else they talked about. She invited him to go to a show, he refused, and when I asked why( i thought it was a different person than her he was talking about) he said "because I'm pretty sure she wants to jump my bones" I lost it. Why was he even talking to someone who he knows wants that from him? He supposedly loves me? What about all these other girls he talks to online? how does he talk to them? I got mad and said, "I know how you are with girls, and I just don't know if I can live with that" After I got mad, he got mad and defensive back, saying that I was assuming he had all these other girls and was talking to them in that way. Ok, so I didn't ask him first about all his other women, but I did know his past(he cheated on his ex), and this girl and 3 others for sure. He's told me many times that most of his friends are girls. He talks to other female friends regularly. Who knows about what anymore. He used to tell me what they talked about, but now that he knows I got jealous, he never tells me anything anymore. I hate that, I hate that he can't talk to me, and I hate that if I bring it up, he gets pissed at me, and doesn't want to even talk about it!! He then tells me he deleted everyone on his IM list... Now I find out that he likes to stare really hard at other women when we are out together. He never did that before, not to this extent anyway. And its so bad, its like every girl. Especially the ones that look about 16-20, Ewwww!! I tried bringing this up with him too, and he totally denies it, of course, and says I should ask him if I think I see him staring, "are you staring at her?" Well what am i blind??? He is staring, and it would be impossible to ask him that many times at once, lol. IT's insane and degrading, and I'm having serious serious doubts about this relationship. Aside from all that, he is a loving, funny, smart, adorable man. He loves me to pieces, and in ways I've never felt appreciated for before. He wants to talk to me all the time and comes to visit every weekend. I have 3 kids, and he is willing to provide for us all, and wants one of his own too. He's a very attractive man, 6' 3", dark hair the best eyes ever, just think superman... and I'm really worried about women throwing themselves at him and him not resisting. He says he'll stick by me thru thick and thin, and had never met anyone like me before, and all that, but is it just a line? How can I tell if this is for real? I don't want to get hurt and embarressed, or get married then get cheated on and have to leave in 2-3 yrs, or worse in 10 yrs with 4 kids!!!!! Ugh! But also, if this is for real, I don't want to throw away the best friend, love, I've ever had, just because of immature jealousy.... I know some of this jealousy has to do with the LDR, and I'm a very jealous female as it is...but I don't know what to do or think of it all...