Hazelnut20

Yeah, it's just confusing. I broke up with him, hurt him, it's been over a year, he hasn't dated anyone. I recently told him how I feel about us still, but now he says he can see himself moving on maybe. He could see us getting back together in the future, but right now he feels like the only reason he hasn't hooked up with someone is because of me. Then he said he feels like it's going in that direction though (of hooking up with girls). Yet, we talk a couple times a week, and we spent almost everyday that I was in the same city he was for Thanksgiving together. He is also picking me up from the airport in a few days. He has said it's hard because he doesn't see how it could work because it's failed before. I don't know if he is just scared of getting hurt again, or if he really has moved on from being in love with me. We still don't live in the same city and won't for at least 6 months. I just don't know how to read his actions vs his words.

Can someone still be in love with you and be open to dating other people if you're broken up? Is it a bad sign if you're open to dating/hooking up with people and you know the other person still has feelings for you? Does that make your feelings less if you are and you know how they feel? Hopefully that wasn't too confusing.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. We did not break up because of cheating, just to clarify. I broke up with him b/c he was not willing to move to the same city I lived in. After 5 years together I felt like we should be in the same city. I feel like it would be different than before because we are both more mature after spending this time apart. I think that maturity and appreciation of one another would make things different this time. I know after spending this time apart that he is the one I want, and I want to do what it takes to make it work. He had no idea I would ever want to get back together or still loved him until I told him a little over a week ago. I feel like everything he's saying and the way he's acting right now is completely understandable and I couldn't expect anything else. It would be unreasonable to expect him to welcome me back with open arms, when I hurt him so much, and he is finally in a place where is happier. I know we still love each other though, and he did say he could see us getting back together in the future. I feel that if he wasn't in love with my anymore, or truly wanted to move on without me, he would not have spent at much time talking with me and hanging out with me as he did recently. He is spending time with other girls, which is very difficult for me, but he said he is only flirting and having fun, he has not kissed or hooked up with anyone. Thanks for all the advice everyone. Hope that helps clarify a few things.

It's been over a year since my boyfriend and I broke up. I broke up with him, and broke his heart. I have missed him for months and just recently told him how I feel. I still love him and want to get back together. He told me he does not want to get into any relationship right now, and that he is trying to make healthy decisions in his life, be more responsible, and count on himself and no one else. He needs to do these things for himself before being a good boyfriend. He said does not want any added drama or stress in his life on top of school and work right now, both are very demanding. He said he does not feel confident in us getting back together right now b/c he feels it would fail again (we've been on and off for 5 years). We have maintained consistent communication since we broke up last Oct. I told him how I felt the weekend before Thanksgiving, and over a period of 3 days we probably talked on the phone for about 10 hours. When I came home (we live in separate cities) we spent 3 out of 4 nights together (no sex, but kissing, cuddling, talking about how we felt, etc). He is very non-committal to any relationship question, but did say that he was open to us getting back together at some point. I am very unsure about how to feel, how to interpret what he wants, or what to do right now. I want him back, but he isn't making me feel completely confident (he says conflicting things sometimes). Any advice as to what to do/how to act, win him back? Thanks.