Hello everyone,
I am new to this site, and I am hoping I can receive some much needed help/clarity/advice, etc. I stumbled upon this website because I don't know how to get over my last relationship or "situation" as I call it.
I met a guy a year ago (last October), and we had this long distance thing going. He was in Colorado, and I am in NC. We fell pretty hard for each other, and we both confessed our feelings for one another. Things were going well for us. In the beginning we had some communication issues--just as any relationship does, and he told me that he was willing to work on some of his personal hang ups in order for us to work out.
In the meantime he was in the process of applying to grad schools, and I was working on nursing school pre-req's etc. After being accepted into Harvard in March I noticed a change in him. So he sends me this long email saying that now that he has committed to going to Harvard his time will become more of a limited resource, and that we will not talk as much etc. He goes on to say that while he's there building his career, I will be here doing the same and he would prefer us to do that independent of one another, and in say three years or so he would much rather us have career options and have to see where we stand rather than my career options be based on his or vice versa. At first I was a little hurt by this, but after some time I understood what he was saying and I was willing to go the distance for him. He just became more distant so I backed off and gave him some space. He was also having to quit his internship that had him in Colorado in the first place, and for some reason he was having a hard time telling his supervisor that the two year commitment was going to be cut in half. So from April until late June or July we had very little contact with each other. After he leaves Colorado and is home again (ga) he calls me and we have this talk. He says to me that he feels as if I had thrown our relationship away. He didn't want to throw anything away that we have established despite the distance. I should trust him more, and I am still a top priority on his list, and he wants to be the same on my list. From then on things were absolutely perfect. His Birthday was in August and I was going to surprise him with season 3 of "the Wire", but he can't handle surprises, so eventually told him what I was going to do for his birthday. Things really fell apart the weekend we hung with our friends. He has a friend who was being very rude to me the whole night, and after a few drinks he started to rub me the wrong way. So when his friend made another inappropriate comment, I basically go of on him. I told him how I felt and simply walked away went to the bathroom came back and everything was cool. However my beau, thought I let this 20 year old boy get to me, and I shouldn't have reacted to him. So this why we are over right now. After he goes back to Georgia he gets mad at me and yells and goes off on me and basically says the deal is over with us all because of that one incident that night. Not to mention by the end of the night I had apologized to the boy, and we were "cool". It was a very minor thing, which is why I can't understand why my EX is so mad at me about it. Then on top of that I want to give him his birthday present and he tells me nevermind, someone else had given it to him already. At that point i am devasted. I couldn't believe he had accepted a gift from someone else and he knew I was going to give it to him. I know all of this seems so petty, but I just couldn't believe how he could hurt my feelings just spare someone else's. So needless to say we didn't talk much after that. So after he moves to Boston he send me a text message asking if we were on speaking terms and if was mad at him. I told him that I had a lot of emotions toward him. He apologized about the birthday gift and offered to give me my money back, and he also apologized for hurting me---he was acting out of emotion--which is why he said the things he said to me etc. So I guess this is why I am here. I am not understanding how he could hurt me, and he has said sorry a number of times, but it's not helping me at all, it's not changing anything. We talked last night and it didn't go well. He says he feels like I am rubbing things in his face--he knows that he messed up, etc. I wasn't rubbing anything in his face I was simply stating how I feel. I am so hurt and confused because this is the same man who said he wants to share the journey with me, the same man who wrote about me in his essay to Stanford calling me his "fiancee". What happened? We always told each other we wouldn't let little things put a dent in what we had. So after our conversation last night text messaged him saying I would try to stay out of his life. The last thing he said was I am sorry, honestly sorry. I am having a hard time letting this situation go. I know he's apologized but what should I do?? Sorry this is so long, and I have to end here. I am sure I have left out a lot of details. Anyone with any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
