tryxey

sorry, should have been more clear. We talked about all the options and she cannot emotionally handle another year, especially with her health. Its complicated but these things always are. I have to respect what she feels she has to do, and she feels she has no choice. So if i were to learn finnish it would be on my own, telling her would be putting too much pressure on her and not respecting her choice. Thank you all for your advice but I must get on with my life as well. I think it is just one of those very sad stories... who knows, never say never

we have been living appart for a year now, seeing each other when we can. It has just become too much for her, she has been in a really bad place before in a previous relationship and asking her to carry in like this would be asking her to potentially go back to that state. If i really love her i have to let her go and let her get on with her life. It is the toughest thing i have ever had to do but this has to be the way.

thank you, we have talked, just not meant to be, its just knowing when to give up...

I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of two years. We got together in the knowledge that she was returning to Finland. After some months of being together, we fell very much in love. In the end, although I would have asked her to stay in the UK, she became very ill (a rare spinal condition) and I had to put her on an aeroplane back to Finland in a wheel chair. These were very difficult times but we stayed together and managed to support each other through it all. She is recovering well but her health still remains an issue. We have been trying for over a year to find a way to be together, unfortunately I need at least one more years experience in my profession to move country and i also need to be able to speak Finnish fluently to practice there. She, on the other hand, cannot move from Finland because of her health and the need for her to make a life there even with what she has. So we broke up mainly because she cannot deal with, emotionally, another year of not being able to be together. It is destroying her mentally and emotionally so we have no choice and have to let fate take us where it will. I know that our break up was inevitable but i am struggling to let go, it is a question that only i can answer myself but when is enough enough? When do I admit defeat and stop fighting? At the moment I do not want to stop fighting and I would do anything to be with her but there are no choices left... I want to scream and tear out my heart, I just want a chance for us to be together.