bebegurl

Yes, I've metioned that to him as well. He seemed to really start 'caring' when he found out about the other guy. That has always bothered me. I wonder what it would be like had he not found out? In a way Im glad he did. I think it made him really think about how miserable his actions had made me. It is very hard though. As I said, he truly is a good man. He never treated me badly, in fact when I did have his attention, he was still and always will be a wonderful boyfriend... it's just, his love is like a drug to me. I wanted it very much and I only got it in very rare doses. I know what your saying Rmp, and it should never take something like that for a person to realize their mistakes... however, im torn because I feel happy that he at least DID recongize them and has since made an effort to change. My problem is that Im not convinced it is a permanent one.

Thank you so much for your replies... Juliana - Yes, THAT was my biggest fear... having children with him, and him not being a good husband and father. He is a good man, but the thought of cleaning and cooking, while feeding our child scared me to death. He does want a family, more than anything, and he obviously has a lot of growing up to do. He claims to have realized his errors and wants to change for the better. He definitely doesn't want to be a dead beat dad/husband on a conscious level. Also, no he is not a jealous person, or at least wasn't during the 3.5 yrs we were together. He encouraged me to go out with my friends and even offered to drop me off and pick me up. In fact, I started to feel unloved because he never called to see how I was or if I was okay. Im not needy, but it seems as if all my friends boyfriends would call once in awhile when we were out just to see if they were okay and things... I never got that. However, I have seen a different side of him when it comes to the other guy. He doesn't 'stalk' me, but alot of things about it bother him. He is always asking questions and making assumptions, and getting upset over them. Freelove - It's hard. I love him very much still, and I know he is a good person. I know he loves me, but I feel he needs to grow up in certain areas. My heart wants to give him a second chance, but my head isn't convinced that his change in attitude is a permanent one. I just don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to feel like I did when he neglected me.

Hello everyone, I've recently broke up with bf of 3.5 years. For the first year of our relationship, he was the most wonderful guy a girl could ever hope for. He was sweet, caring, attentive, charming, attractive... I feel in love with him very hard, and he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However, after about a year, things began to change and it had alot to do with his family moving away. He stayed behind because he wanted to be with me, but it caused alot of problems in our relationship. He became very distant and we were forced to live together. Initally he made plans to live with his relatives unitl he could secure housing, but I asked that he live with me and my parents. That didn't work out so well. He started neglecting me for his video games and didn't really help around the house. After about a year, he did get a place of his own and I moved in with him. The same things continued and I began to get deeply depressed. I would talk to him numerous times and try to compromise. It's not that he wouldn't compromise, but after a while things went back to how they were. I would lie in bed at night crying and only wanting him to want to spend a little time with me. I would watch him sit at his computer and not even pay me a notice. I can understand having time to do our own things, but please realize that this was every day, from the time he came home, till the time he was ready to sleep... every single day. I felt so unimportant and unloved by him. He broke my heart. This was the man who was my everything, my love, the man I wanted to marry, the man who only a year ago was the most romantic and loving person I had ever met. I can't say he treated my badly, but he made me feel very unimportant to him. Like my presense there was annoying. All I wanted was a simple 'hello, how was your day?' or just a rub on the arm. I didn't want his complete attention, but at least some nod that he knew I was there. It came to a point where I realized that I meant nothing to him anymore so I broke up with him over the phone one day. I met someone knew and started hanging out with this person. It was alot of fun, but I still had feelings for my ex. In any case, my ex found out about the other guy and all of a sudden had a light go off in his head. He wanted to work things out with me. He realized how bad he made me feel and professed his will to be a better person... to be the guy I fell in love with. Naturally, I was and still am hesitant. The ex and I have taken things slow. This has been going on for about a month now, and he definitely has shown a complete 360 degree turn. He has quit playing his video games completely and we have started doing things together... things we've never done before and I really enjoy it. The problem is, I am afraid that if I officially get back together with him, he will just revert to the same person I didn't like. He will start taking me for granted again and I never want to go through that kind of hurt again. Also, I've told him that since we are trying to work things out, I have not seen the other person. He and I still chat once in a while as I value his friendship, but it is nothing more. My ex still hates that I have anything to do with this person and we get into arguments about that. What should I do about this? I do love him dearly, but I have so much uncertainty in my head right now. Im afraid of getting hurt, and Im afraid of letting my walls down. A part of me feels that it is tarnished and will never be the same. Another part of me believes that he can change, or rather be the person I met 3.5 years ago. He asks for faith in him... I am so confused. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story.