Hello, this is my first post so I hope I'm putting it in the right section.. I think I am having trust issues, and I don't want to keep having these feelings of not being able to trust if they are not justified.
I've been in a relationship with my g/f for about nine months now.. I know we kind of rushed things, but I moved in with her about 5 months ago. Now that I've been with her for a while I am finding it hard to trust her, especially after I have caught her lying to me before.
In the beginning before we moved in we texted messaged each other a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. Almost all day everyday.. But sometimes, when we would be texting in the evenings she would just stop responding all of a sudden. One minute she would be texting back and forth with me, but then they would just stop. So I would try to call her, but it would go straight to voice mail like she had turned her phone off or she was talking to someone else. I would try calling every few minutes to see what happened, but I wouldn't hear from her until the next day when she would usually tell me she fell asleep and didn't hear her phone. This seems pretty legitimate to me however I did try calling her multiple times when she would stop with no success of reaching her. A couple times she would also call me the wrong name in these texts, come to find later it was the name of a guy she had been seeing before me and his number was still in her phone..
Once we moved in together I decided to use her PC one day to check my email.. Well I got quite the surprise when I opened the lid on her laptop. There was an AIM chat log opened on the screen, so I read it. It was basically a transcript of her having cyber sex with another guy. Unfortunately it was not dated.. So when I confronted her about it she said it was old and she was deleting it. Me being the computer person I am told her that she didn't have to open the file to delete it nor would she be able to delete it while viewing it..
She has also lied to me about her past. One time we got to talking about being gay, probably because her brother is gay. But I ended up asking her if she ever had feelings that she was gay in the past, and if she had ever kissed another woman, she responded NO to both these questions. Well one day while looking for something in the closet, I found a note that was being passed back and forth between her and another girl in class one day. In her handwriting it said that she thought she was a lesbian. So I confronted her about it, she said she did once think she was a lesbian and that she had kissed one of her friends. Now this did happen in the past (almost 2 years) and I can see how she might be ashamed of it. But, I thought she should have been honest with me the first time I asked her if she ever thought she was gay and if she had ever kissed another girl..
Yesterday, I was using her PC again to check my email. We both use gmail, so I typed the gmail address in the browser on her PC. It took me to the gmail website but it logged me straight into her email account. I got to thinking so I decided to check her SENT mail folder. Upon checking I saw that she had sent 2 emails to herself, but the times of the emails were times she was supposed to be in class (this class has no PCs in it). So I asked her when she got out of class, she told me a time that was later than when the emails were sent. So I asked her more questions about what she did in class that day, and she came up with stuff to tell me. So then I broke it down to her and told her about the emails I saw. She kept trying to lie to me, but then she finally said she did not go to class that day because she didn't want to. It seemed kind of weird to me how she couldn't tell me she didn't go to class that day.. It makes me think if she can lie to me about this small stuff what kind of big stuff could she lie to me about??
Usually when I catch her in a lie she gets defensive and then starts going on about "how can you be with me" and "break up with me if I keep hurting you" stuff. But then she goes on and says she can never break up with me though, and how she does not know how she will live without me. So it almost seems that she would rather end this relationship then just tell me the truth!!
These are just a few main points I wanted to bring up here for you people to analyze and give me your input/advice.. I've caught her in other smaller lies that don't really involve me.. Maybe she is a compulsive liar? Maybe I am the one with the problem? I'm at such a loss.. Please help me!
THANKS IN ADVANCE!!
