I have been married to my boyfriend of 3 yrs for 6 months now. I am older than him and I have been through a divorce... Though age has never been an issue between us, my problem is a little different..
My husband and I had a long distance relationship for 2 yrs before we tied that knot. During this time, just about 20 days before the wedding, I discovered that he has been cheating on me. Though it wasnt a physical relation (one of the girls was living abroad and the other in another city and both were married), I found mails in which he confessed his love for them and exchanged photographs. He knew these girls from before and these mails n calls n text messages started after I moved to another city. There was another female colleague he got close to and used to sms and call very late at nights and very frequently.
Needless to say my world came crashing down and i wanted to call off the wedding. But he somehow persuaded me that it was just that he strayed a bit and that he would never do this again.
2 months after the wedding, he went abroad on work and I am due to join
him in a month (we've been away from each other for 3 months now).
My problem is that though I have never stopped loving him, I somehow feel that he really was never attracted to me. Though we have a good chemistry but sometimes I get all choked up and all I want to do is kill myself. I keep asking myself why did it happen to me? Where did I go wrong? All this time I gave him too much love. Maybe thats what my fault was. Maybe its not right to love someone so much, especially when they dont love u back the same way..
I want to know where did i fail in my relationship. I have become very insecure and have got a low self esteem now. I used to be someone everyone envied and wanted to be with. Now I feel like I am not worth anything or anyone. Pls help me in getting my life back on track. I want to make my marriage work but I cant deny the fact that I am very inseure and I dont trust him like I used to..
