I have had a relationship with my ex-fiance for about 2 years. She had an affair which hurt me bad. We continued to try to get over it for about 6 months, and to no prevail...it didn't last. I had no more trust and things were not working out the way that I wished it would have..buy I still love her.
We separated about 5 months ago..but she still had feelings for me..she wanted me back..but her expectations were to hard for me to reach with what she had done to me, and how my trust and emotions had been ruined. I I was starting to move on..I was happy..but I think it was because she was still a "security blanket" for me...knowing that she loved me but I had the upper hand. I didn't know how to react. But somehow....I still love her...very much. Let it be noted that we have a 2 year old son together also....which we both love very much and want the best for him.
Well it seems that she finally decided to start dating the same guy she had an affair with now. This is devistating to me..very hard to deal with..my emotions have been running wild..anger...hate...jealously..and trying to "bargain" with her to get me back., trying to convince her that I am the one for her...not him. I couldn't deal with it.
After reading these posts over and over again, along with other helpful sites, I tried to focus on the positive aspects. Then....I thought..and thought..and finally I came to the conclusion that, for my readings and insight, that forgiveness and hope is the path to happiness. She came over to drop my son off tonight...I should not have contact with her because of this...but my hurt is deep.....but.............(This next part is a personal religious belief...you can deal with it in any faith or religion you have) If you sit down, relax...and talk to God....let him know how you are feeling..that it hurts deeply...but ask him for forgiveness for the one that hurt you....know that Jesus is beside you...and that with him...follow his footsteps in the path of forgiveness....and let him know that you ask the same for the one who hurt you..You know you can move on..there is no doubt about that..but you will never cross the hurt if you don't forgive first. All you have to do is confront the person who hurt you...tell them that you have forgiven them in the eyes of God, and through that...both of you will heal and can move on..without the pain and hurt.
It is a big step..and may be harder than what you think..but it ultimately will help you in the progress of losing someone, especially if they left you and you feel the pain. Don't Get me wrong...I am not a typical "religious" type...I have not went to church for the longest time.....but have some faith..it helps the healing progress....sit down...relax....close your hands...open your mind..and tell Jesus that you are forgiving as God has....and ask him to heal your wounds and go on with your wonderful life. You are not the only one to go through this...let that be known....it takes time.....but I (personally) believe that the first and greatest step is to take a relaxed moment, sit down, breath deeply, and talk to your God....ask them to help you walk down the path of happiness, serenity, and forgive those who have made you feel the way you do, and to heal and go on with your life as it was meant to be. Try it...I did..and it helped me. These are the baby steps...even if you are not religious..to healing a broken relationship with the one you love. Relax...take deep breaths...and tell in your mind to your God or yourself that you forgive and will go on with your wonderful and beautiful life that has so many things for you to look forward to.
I am not in no way forcing a religious aspect on this..everybody has their beliefs....but what I am trying to say is that a basic forgiveness is the first step into moving on with your great life. Just deeply think about it and try it..it may help you move on from your despair.
