unluckyNlove

I don't know if I would cheat being around him, I would like to think I have that much self control. But even when I was going out with my boyfriend and seeing this other man at work all the time we would still constantly flirt. And even if the flirting means nothing or leads to nothing I still feel that it's wrong to do. And I'm almost sure that I would end up flirting because I can't help it. And I know my situation isn't exactly the easiest to understand, but thanks for the reply. So is it wrong to think that I shouldn't be flirting with this man, that it's wrong and will end up causing relationship problems?

We looked at the apartment today and my mom is REALLY excited about it, it's small but it's nice. The landlord was talking to us and said the neighbor was an older single guy, a line cook somewhere. I almost died right there on the spot. It's so unlikely that it is who I think it could be, but he was an older single guy living alone, and he was definatley a line cook. I know I'm definitely not over-reacting anymore. I saw my boyfriend today and I felt all weird because I really don't know if I should say anything. Because if I say anything it could become a bigger problem than it should be. BTW it really stinks that I only got one response to this...because either that means my situation is completely hopeless, no one cares, or NO one knows what they would do if they were in my shoes! Honestly I don't blame anyone, but come on wouldn't you like ANY advice you could get if you were in my situation?

This is only my second thread, but now I really need some advice! If you read my last post ( ) I mentioned how I am currently with a guy and having his child. But there was a man I like before and he came up between my stepdad and I in casual conversation. Now my problem in the last post was that I would have to drive by spots where I know I could see him and I didn't know how I would handle that. Well now the story has changed. My mom changed her mind on that apartment and we've been looking for another. Which btw is hard to find when you have a newborn coming because everyone keeps saying they are not lead free. My mom called a couple places today and they all said the same thing...except for one. The one that didn't say that is in the same city as the guy I liked. I saw the paper where she wrote down the info on it and it seems nice, but I looked it up on mapquest and I was horrified. It's practically next door to the guy I like. I know I'm prolly over-reacting because what are the chances we get that house, we haven't been very lucky, but considering the circumstances, I am very unlucky and it would be just my luck to end up with that house. And who knows maybe he moved...but that's doubtful. Anyways, the problem is I don't know what to do. I can't say Hey Mom we can't move here because my old crush lives next door, especially if it is like the ONLY place we can find. Plus besides the fact that I was fearing a possiblity of cheating on my boyfriend, who I have vowed not to do that to and thereforeeee have kept myself away, I'm REALLY sure he wouldn't like me living that close to him either. AND my step dad still stops by his work to talk to him, so if he's living that close I'm sure he'll invite him over and stuff, and that will drive me insane because he knew how much I liked him and he knows how much stress and tension that will cause. So, my boyfriend and I are looking to be moving into an apartment together as soon as we can, but for now I'm stuck where I am at my parents house. If anyone has ANY sort of advice I would appreciate it.

Ta_ree_saw, yes I'm pretty close with my step dad and he does know that I liked the other guy. I'm not sure if he's a good source for an opinion though, he drinks too much and never remembers things he said so I wouldn't know if I'm getting a good suggestion or not. Ofcourse I'm sure he would not suggest sleeping with my ex co-worker anyways lol. Plus I don't want him not to be able to hang out with his friend just because I have issues. InaneCathode, I'm not sure if that really qualifies as advice, but fine your right, I love him with most of my heart, and maybe that's a bad thing because I'm sure that could be something that could tear us apart. But I do love him, so I don't think I should break things off or anything just because I have feelings for this other man. He is not good looking even compared to my boyfriend, so some part of me has always thought it was lust or a crush, but it's been soo long. I dunno I will take your advice, I think that I should sort things out and make sure I am as happy as I think I am. I think I am, I just think it's kind of like a "what if" situation. I never got a chance and I'm upset I gave it up and now that I might have a second chance, I'm afraid to give it up again... I think... LoL I think I just confused myself.

Alright here goes…I've been with my boyfriend for 1yr and a couple weeks now. I love him to death, and I'm even having his child. The biggest problem right now is that we do not live together. I still live with my mom, not really by choice but because I'm pregnant I'm currently unemployed. Anyways, I did have a job before, and I had a wicked crush on my superior. He is 20yrs older than I am. (My current b/f is 10yrs older than me) I never really had the guts to say anything to my superior while working with him, but I knew he knew I liked him. We flirted constantly and I stayed after work all the time with him, and even went down to the park where he was fishing when I was bored just to be around him. I asked him plenty of times if I bugged him and he always told me he enjoyed my company. I worked with him for just over 2yrs until I got let go for not being able to get to work because my car was broken. That was October of this past year. Last June is when I started going out with my b/f and I kept it a secret for a while and then finally some co-workers knew but as far as I know the guy I liked didn't know I had a boyfriend. I still flirted with him but I tried harder not to for my b/f's sake. Soon enough the guy I liked got a g/f and finally I wrote an e-mail to him to tell him my true feelings. The e-mail never got responded to, and he acted as if he never got it. He still flirted with me even though he had a g/f (who worked with us too, just in a different department). After I got fired that was it. (He wasn't my boss so he didn't fire me) I never e-mailed him again or anything even though I told myself at times that I wanted to stop by while I knew he'd be fishing, but I always stopped myself. Oh and I should mention that my stepfather used to pick me up from work when I first started there because I didn't yet have my license (I was 17 though). When he would pick me up he started talking to the guy I liked. Now it's June and that is like 8 months since I worked there. But I have never stopped thinking about him! I have a boyfriend and I love him with all my heart, but I even turned him down when I first met him because I was still holding out for the older man. He knows I liked him, and every now and again he brings him up as a big joke, but all it does is hurt my feelings and make me feel really uncomfortable, like he's going to find out I still like him and get mad at me. The problem now is that today my step dad told me he saw the guy I liked about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I asked where and he said he went out of his way and stopped by my old work just to say hi, because he was his friend. I don't know if my step dad could tell but I know I felt like I lit up, I started smiling and then I was trying not to, and that was probably worse. I asked what he talked to him about and he said that he wants to go fishing together. Then my step dad joked with me and told me he told him that maybe they shouldn't because if he starts hanging around I might cheat on my boyfriend. Although I know this was just a stupid statement that wasn't really said between them it made me nervous. What happens if he does start hanging around with him? I know I still like him, but I have a boyfriend and I don't know if he has a g/f anymore. I know that staying away from him is my best option because I really don't want to ruin things with my boyfriend especially since we are having a child in a couple of months. The only reason I think anything could become a problem is because I currently live a half an hour from my old work, but we are moving, and we are going to be a lot closer. I will have access to my step dad's car so I can visit my boyfriend but I have to practically drive right by my old work, the park he fishes at and his house just to get back and forth to get my boyfriend. I know that people probably will think I'm scum for even thinking I'm going to cheat on my boyfriend, but I don't know if I will. I have been able to control myself for this long, and even though I've liked this man for longer than I've even known my boyfriend I'm pretty sure it's not worth the risk of losing him. (And just now while I was writing that last sentence my b/f IMed me from his cell phone because he just found out that it can do that, so now I feel even worse.) The other thing I wanted to say is that I know people say if you would cheat on your spouse, or b/f or g/f, you don't love them as much as you say you do or something like that. The thing that keeps running through my head is I guess it seems to me that the only reason I got together with him was because I liked him just not as much, and I knew there was like no chance with the other man. So I don't know…what should I do? I don't even know if I should mention the situation to my boyfriend because I think it would just cause more tension than what is needed. But on the other hand if I do tell him maybe it would help me to stay away from the other man… I just don't want to be tempted, I'm really afraid to ruin something great.