Ohso

You cry and cry but the pain doesn't seem to lessen, that pain in your chest that has no physical cause but is real none the less.

These things will go away, I hated it when people told me time would make it better because that didn't help me right there and then. I've since learnt there is no way to stop the pain right now, it has to be felt and endured, love is cruel like that.

I'm just coming out of that dark place you're in, although it may not seem it now it does get better in time.

I was with my ex for six years, I loved him more than I loved anyone else in the entire world. Then one day he said he didn't love me any more and that it was over, talk about a bomb shell.

Within two short weeks he was with someone else, I was shocked that he could move on so quickly while I was still having trouble accepting it was over. I didn't know it at the time but I've since learnt that he started seeing this other guy a while before dumping me though he says they didn't get physical until after the split.

At first I held on to the idea that he's see the error of his ways and come back to me. I'd burst into tears all the time, I felt confused, lost, hurt, I even stopped eating for a while. I tried to keep myself busy but it would only work for a short time then he'd creep back into my thoughts.

It's always going to be hard because you have a heart in your chest not a piece of flint. You can't turn your feelings off, the feelings I have for my ex didn't just go away. Even now I still have feelings for him and it hurts to think that he doesn't feel the same. Eventually though I'm slowly accepting that it's how things are, no matter how much I might want it to be different it's just not going to happen.

There's no quick fix, at least I never found one. I can only say don't give up hope, cry when you feel like crying, talk to a friend when you feel the need and remember that you won't always feel the way you do now.

Take care.

You'd have to find the cause of the depression and find a way to overcome it (simple answer). You can do that without pills but having someone to talk to would make it so much easier.

For every genuine guy on the net there's 10 more looking out for a quickie. It seems to be the way the gay online dating/friendship sites operate. I can be having a chat with a guy trying to learn a bit about him but the direction of the conversation can quickly change to sex which is the time when I leave.

Even those that don't instantly put me off can turn bad. I've spent two weeks talking to several guys developing what I thought was a decent friendship. We've exchanged pics, I was expecting a face shot but was instead treated to pics of them in the nuddy. What's worse is they then say "Well what do you think?"..............what the hell are you supposed to say?.

I've been told I'm a gentleman, I believe in developing relationships first, if there's a connection then things can go further. I still believe in dating someone for a while first but I'm definitely in the minority there too.

Don't give up all hope though, I met and had a relationship for six years with a man I met online. I've managed to strike up two half decent friendships with men I've spoken to online which might even become real life friendships if we decide to have face to face contact.

I can certainly empathise. When my relationship ended I not only lost my partner but all my friends and the people I'd come to think of as family as well.

I am trying to build up a new circle of friends, get out and socilise more and basically get on with life but it's not easy.

I have good days when I feel like I'm making progress, things seem to be going well and I feel happy. Yet there are days when my life seems so empty, me efforts seem meaningless and futile and I feel like it's all a waste of time.

See he's a nice guy, he really is, I wouldn't have spent six years with him otherwise.

I can't explain his actions, they seem very out of character from my past experiances. He's always been so good to me in every way.

I know it sounds like I'm stuck in the past, I can't say 100% that isn't the case. I do still have feelings for him, I can't turn them off as much as I might like to. I do know the relationship is over, I've said it before that there's no going back.

It's just too soon for me, maybe five weeks is time enough for some people but it's not even close for me. I need time to heal, but being here is opening all the old wounds on a daily basis and it's getting to be too much.

I can't understand his reasons, he wants what he wants and he's doing what it takes to get it. The fact that it's killing me inside doesn't come into it.

What scares me most is once he's moved his new guy in will he try to get me to move out. My ex and the landlord are friends, with the new guy moved in he can easily say to him, either kick him out (meaning me) or the two of us leave. Faced with loosing 2 paying tennants or 1....it's not much of a choice.

I'm in a right mess and can't see a way out.

My BF left me a few weeks ago, it was hard as you'd expect but some things you just can't controll. Two weeks after the break up I learn he's sleeping with someone else, it knocked me for six but again I had to learn to live with it. Now three weeks on he's trying to move his new guy in to the house share we still live in.

I don't want to sound like a drama queen but I really don't think I can cope with this any more. Loosing the person you love more than life itself is hard enough, but living with him while he loves it up with the new guy is too much. I'm ashamed to say that for all the pain he's caused, I still actually love him. I know there's no going back and I knew at some point he'd find someone else......but so soon.

It's the fact that he doesn't seem to care how I feel, I'd never dream of moving some guy into the house while my Ex was still living there. To me it's a selfish, almost cruel thing to do. He knows it upsets me but to my surprise he seems to be ok with it.

My problem is I have no where else to go, I want to get out of here but I can't afford to live alone on the money I make. None of my family can take me in for the long term, they also live 250 miles away so moving in with them would mean loosing my job. I've got no friends to help, no way to escape.

I'm living a nightmare, every time I see him I hurt inside, he's already started bringing him back for some hanky panky.....I'm in the next room and can hear everything, I have to leave the house or go mad.

I dont really expect anyone here to give me advice, believe me if there was a way out I'd have found it and taken it. I just need to tell someone, anyone what I'm going through.

For me it was a gradual awareness that I was different.

At the age of about 8 or 9 years I knew that I liked boys in a way that I didn't like girls. I wasn't sexually aware as such but I knew it was different to how I was "supposed" to feel. The feeling that I was different goes back even further but I can't say exactly when.

I'm finding it much harder to move on than I'd like to admit.

My anger may not be justified but it is how I feel. I keep thinking, he planned this from the start, he told me there was no one else when the whole time he knew what he was going to do.

Just for the sake of referance, I'm a man too.

3 weeks ago on wednesday my boyfriend broke up with me, said it was better in the long run if we separated. I was devastated but had to accept the fact that it was over, it wasn't easy but I had little choice in the matter.

I had to know if there was anyone else, when I asked he swore there wasn't and I believed him. Because we're living under the same roof though I began to pick up on a few things.

To get to the point he has slept with someone on saturday night. You might think "So what, it's over between you so he's free to do what he wants". Part of me thinks that too but another part feels like I've been lied too.

I guess it's because after six years together you get to know someone quite well. I know my boyfriend and I know that this was planned, he says it wasn't and that it just happened but I know otherwise. Of course there's no 100% way to prove this, it's just my gut feeling and a lot of small incidents that lead me to the conclusion. After the split I had the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling me, a six year relationship doesn't just come to a end without a good reason. He's never given me a explination of why he wanted it to end or why he wasn't interested in working on it.

When the final piece of the puzzle fell into place today I asked him and his face fell, he obviously wasn't expecting it. He made a half harted attempt to deny it before getting angry and telling me the truth. Then he stormed out and went to his new piece of fluffs house.

Never in my life have I felt anger like this but is this anger justified?, do I have the right to feel like this? I feel betrayed and cheated because I think he wanted this to happen and made sure I was out of the way so he'd have a clear concience.

You'll have to firgive me if this post seems to be all over the place, it's not every day the love of your life decides to leave you and I'm a bit messed up right now.

My boyfriend told me last wednesday that he thought it would be better for the both of us if we split up, he said he cared for me a great deal but no longer loved me. For me this was a total shock, although I had noticed a bit of distance between us for the past two weeks or so I didn't think for a second it was leading to this. As I said he was his usual caring and loving self until very recently so I had no real indication of a problem that could cause such a drastic change in our relationship.

I find myself having problems coming to terms that things are really over. Six years is a long time to be together and I have to say I still love this guy with all my heart. That things can go from being so good to being so bad in such a short amount of time is hard to accept. What's even harder to understand is he's not willing to try and work things out.

I'm now wondering if there's someone else he's not telling me about. Although he swears there's no one else involved I can't help but think there's more going on here. I keep wondering if he's ended it with me so he can start up something with some else with a clear concience so to speek...

I'm totally alone here peeps, I moved a long way from home to be with this guy and find myself with no one to turn to. It's quite sad really but most of the people I thought of as friends haven't called or even sent a simple text to ask if I'm ok. The reason being most of them are his friends or family too and so have rallied around him. To make things even more difficult neither of us can afford to move out as we're both on low incomes and the rent alone for a 1 bedroom flat would take most of one persons wages. We've moved into separate rooms but it's painful to see him acting like it's life as usual and going out with friends while I sit at home wondering what the hell has happened.

I didin't come here expecting answers or some miracle way of fixing everything, I guess I just want to be told everything will be ok and the pain will go away eventually.