ArielM1313

Doyathink, My bf is 23, I am 33. May I ask how old you were when you both met? Thanks, Ariel

Thank you, everyone. Monkey1, your insight is priceless! Thank you for sharing. We have so much in common...hobbies, goals, etc. We both have an off center sense of humor, so often, we're the only one laughing at our jokes, which is just fine. LOL He is FUN and loving. I can only put myself in his shoes. I recall at 23, I was just out on my own... exploring the world and trying to make a place for myself in it. He lives at home to save money since he is a student, you are correct. He's never lived anywhere else than with his mother. (Parents divorced at age 3 but now are very amicable and go to his events/plays/art showings as a parental unit, which is good). At 33, I have hindsight. I know how confusing growing into our own skin can be. I know that there's tons of trial and error. Going into this relationship, I knew that if I wanted it to work, I had to give him free rein to explore his world. Then, I learned he was a virgin. I find it hard to believe that I will be his first and last lover. He does have "traditional values" and thinks it would not be out of the realm of possibility if he ended up marrying his first (and last). That is reassuring, however, I do have the gift of hindsight. Now, I can NOT imagine having only 1 serious relationship at 23 and sticking with it. In fact, at 23, I got married to a man 10+ years my senior. It did not last, however we remain in email contact. Hindsight. I absolutely adore this man! Yet, I know in my gut that he has so much growing left to do! Would I love for us to grow together? Absolutely. I have to be realistic and acknowledge that the odds are against us. His friends, family (incl. brother, age 25) accept us. My parents & friends accept us. The age gap is not an issue for anyone in our lives- but us, if that makes sense. He doesn't seem too worried about it. He is very "in the moment". I try to be, but having had life and relationship experience, I worry. When I think about the here and now....next week or next month...it's all good. His goal is to study abroad in Ireland (he is Irish) for a year, possibly two. I had similar dreams when I was 23, too. He wants to transfer to a school 45 minutes away and live off campus. A good idea, I think. Sorry for babbling. This forum is one of the only places I feel comfortable exploring and sharing my feelings on my AGR. I do talk to my boyfriend, as well. His answer is always, "We'll have to see what happens." Thanks, Ariel

Hi all. I am a 33 yr old women who recently went back to school to change careers. There, I met a wonderful, funny, caring man who is 23. Thankfully, I do look younger (most say 26) so appearances are not much of an issue. What concerns me is two-fold. One...and I am being serious here... he was a virgin when I met him. He told me of this during our first time together. I about died. Obviously, he is no longer a virgin. He said he remained a virgin because nothing ever felt "right" before we got together. He is totally relationship inexperienced. In fact, I am discovering I am his firt serious girlfriend. We've been together 3 months. I worry about the ramifications of his having been a virgin. Second, he is just beginning his life. He hasn't moved out of his mother's home yet! Arrgh! ( * * * am I doing? LOL) She and I get along quite well. However, it's one thing to date a younger man who is on his own and LIVING. It's another to date a man who has no life experience. I fear we are setting ourselves up for failure here. So much stacked against us. He is so very funny, loving, gentle and a talented artist. Yet, he has not experienced real LIFE. He is old fashioned in the sense that he believes it is possible to marry your first. But..... c'mon.... he's 23 and just discovered sex. (LOL) Thoughts? Ariel.