Lansing

Well.. she was probably interested in you, but, you got in her "Friendzone" by not pursuing it...

I knew this girl from another country... We started hanging out and becoming closer... I developed an interest in her over time, and eventually, like 6 months after I met her we started "dating"... However, 3 months after that, I found out that when I first met her she had a BF living back home. And then I found out that he came to visit her for like a week before we started "dating".... I had NOOOO idea... I guess she didn't feel the need to bring him up...

Adding to this thread, there was a girl I met a few weeks back and then I ran into her again at a party not long ago... Well, I found out through a friend that she had a BF between the first time I met her and the party. At the party, she actually mentioned her BF but, then, she ends up asking me out for later in the week! Anyway, obviously since she has a BF I assume it is a casual friendly thing... but, still seems odd.

Out of curiosity, how old are you??

Just try not to put him on such a high pedestal. You might get disappointed if you think so highly of him even though you don't know him very well..... Based on what you postd though, he does sound interested in you...

Sir Sirloin.....

I think it is good to be open minding that not everyone is like you... Not all guys will jump at every chance to have sex... and it doesn't have to do with looks, lack of opportunity or anything else...

wow.... after reading your posts about your great sex life with him, I wouldn't have expected this post from you! Yeah, I think hand holding is great.... However, I have gone out with some girls that get a bit "Tense" from hand holding....

I always see threads about how girls think guys only want sex,etc,etc... Well, I am wondering, for the girls, if you are currently sexually active (or have been already) and you met a guy that didn't want to have sex until your relationship was developed or even until marriage, would you wait? Of course, there is still intimacy.. but, no intercourse... (I am not sure what the "official" line would be.... but, at minimum, no intercourse...)

EDIT: To clarify, he is sexually attracted to you. The reason why he wants to wait till marriage is because he feels like it is the ultimate bond between two people and thinks there needs to be an adequate balance in a relationship between all different areas (i.e. that it can't be just one based on strong physical attraction)...

Well... I think by saying "right now" you let him believe that your feelings may change... You could have just said "I am not interested in dating you but you seem like a nice enough guy so I wish you luck" or something like that....

And you are sure he was asking you out on "Dates" as opposed to hanging out as friends?

Weird that he wouldn't even call you to cancel with you or give you a reason..... If I was interested in a girl I would definitely had made other plans..... Heck, even if I wasn't interested... I think I would have called and had some respect for her!

You probably like her because you can't have her...

All the other girls just seem to "swoon" over you... Every girl wants to be with you. This is what you call a "quality" problem!

Well.. just take it as hanging out! Seriously, you are going away for the whole summer.. what are you going to do? Make her your "girlfriend" and have her wait for you to come back?

ok.... back off completely...

She doesn't want a "relationship" with you..... So, don't pursue her. You don't need to tell her "I don't want to be friends with you"... just let things die off if that is what you want....

I have gone through this before when I liked a girl more than she liked me.... You will probably have to go through the same steps to finally get over her... but.... ...

Umm....

I think you should make it clear you have a boyfriend... Like.. You don't have to say "oh, I have a boyfriend" but, in conversation you can bring it up...

I posted a thread about this (giving your number out to the opposite sex if you have a bf/gf... see the "Dating" section)...

It just makes the guy more confused also... If a girl gives me her number, I assume she knows why I asked for it and assume she is interested...

During the time of conflicting schedules was he constantly calling you and asking you out? And you were just busy? Kind of helps answer my question of if a girl is always "busy" whether it could be she is just busy but still interested...

Anyway, as for this guy, if you don't want to call him then you will just have to wait and see what happens.... He might be wondering how to handle it too though... However, if he called you on a regular basis during that time and "pursued" you, he might have got what he wanted and is moving on to the next girl....

I can see what you are saying... but, I guess I always read about how girls say stuff like "he can't take a hint" or "why won't he leave me alone".... I am trying to play it cool... I guess I could have said "yeah sure, no problem, I will try you another night"... but I was kind of taken off guard and was just like "suuuuuuuure... ok...later..." or something to that effect

I mean, does she need to say "I don't want to talk to you, stop calling me" for me to stop? Or, should I just try back in a few more days and if she has another excuse drop it? or text message her?

Thanks for your advice...

Ha... well.. that is the end of it... I called tonight.... Figured, I would give it a shot.. she answers, I hear noise in the background.... She didn't even say "can I call you back" .. she was about to it seemed and caught herself.. she was like "I am at a BBQ at my neighbours.. Can I let you go"....

Lame, why even give me her number if she doesn't want to talk... I guess she just likes the attention....

I am curious if people out there that are currently "dating" or in relationships would give there phone number out to someone of the opposite sex if they asked for it....

Further to the "why do some girls flake" thread, I was talking to a female friend and she said she has given her number to guys and doesn't even bring up she has a boyfriend. She says she doesn't want to automatically "assume" the guy is after her in a romantic way. If she had a good conversation with them then she will give her number to him . However, she said one of those guys called her on Sunday and asked her for a coffee and she said "no thanks.. I would rather see you in our group setting"...

yeah.. Please dont' sleep with him just as a test to see if that is all he was after!!

hmm.. well.. I read the link that heloladies21 posted.... I think this girl just has a lot of stuff on the go.. I would say she is a 9.... she is very pretty so I am guessing she gets all kinds of guys hitting on her......

I think she sort of picked me up! There is more to the initial "meeting" story but for privacy reasons I would rather not post them publicly.

I am thinking I shouldn't have just left it between Wednesday and Saturday and figured she would call me.....

The thing is, if this girl wasn't interested why would she initiate contact with me. If she gave me her phone number out of obligation or not rejecting me, why would she initiate conversation by contacting me via text. I think I will take the advise based on the link heloladies posted and try calling her in a few days wihout focussing on her flakiness...

Well, I was just talking to a female friend online, and she has a BF ( ... we are just friends... more like internet friends since I met her only once and she lives far away)... Well, she tells me that she gives her phone number to guys even though she has a bf.. she said she doesn't want to assume that a guy is hitting on her. She says that some guy asked her out for coffee yesterday and she said "no thanks"....

haha... man... and she is telling me this girl is a "Flake".. but....

I edited my original post "topic"... I just meant, "when a girl flakes, why does she do it".. haha.. I didn't mean why do all girls flake...

Yeah, maybe I am not good at reading the signs of attraction but, everything I saw seemed like she was totally into it..... You are right though, maybe there are some other guys in the picture.....

I am thinking I am either really bad at reading girls, I am doing something to freak them out or, some girls are just "messed"....

So, I met this girl on Monday. It was pretty random but we got to talking and we totally hit it off. She had strong eye contact and I could tell she was digging me by her body language/facial expressions. We had to part ways so I said I enjoyed the conversation and I would like to continue it some other time. She was happy to give me her number and I gave her my number also since she wanted it.

Well, the next night she sent me a text message (I hadn't been in contact with her in between), telling me about a film she had saw that she enjoyed (I met her at a film the night before as part of a festival going on). We texted back and forth two or three messages and I tried calling her since I am not very quick with text. Well, she didn't answer, so, I sent another text and she invited me out to a film with her friends a few nights away. I couldn't make it because I had plans already. I texted it back to her and said I should have some free time on Sat. to get together. Well, I called her the next night and we talked on the phone for less than 10 minutes but the vibe was really good. We were joking, both laughing, teasing each other,etc,etc.... At the end, I brought up abotu Saturday already and she said she already had plans for Saturday (sporting event) but she wasn't sure when it would be finished. She said she would let me know if that was okay. I said "well, I will be in and out of theaters all day,so you might not be able to get a hold of me". She said "okay"... Anyway, Saturday came and went but I thought maybe she tried to call while I was in a theater with no signal or something. Regardless, I was busy watching various films. But, then the next day I decided to call her in the afternoon in case we miscommunicated. She answered, we chatted for about a minute. I asked how her weekend was going so far and she answered something like "really busy but good so far"... then, after some small chit chat she said "Could I call you back, I am on the other line"... I said "sure". I waited around about 30 minutes but I didn't hear from her so I went out for a run. When I got back an hour later she still hadn't called. Well... she still hasn't called....

All the signs to me pointed that she was interested... it is sort of chattering my confidence! Nothing in our conversation on Wednesday let me to believe she wasn't interested... She was totally flirting on the phone and in person earlier in the week..... I don't know if I should bother. Yesterday I was also in theaters later in the day without cell phone signal, so, again, a "possibility" she tried calling (albeit 4 hours after our conversation!)...

I am wondering why girls do this?? If she wasn't interested, she could have used the boyfriend line or whatever... She seemed totally into the conversation,etc,etc..... Any advice??

EDIT: Sorry.. I didn't mean why do all girls flake! I just meant, why do the girls that flake do it! I know that all girls don't flake. I changed it to "some" to make it clear.

EDIT 2: My latest situation where a girl "flaked":

blah, unrelated to the initial story (I never called her back again, she knew I was interested, she could have called).... I started dating a new girl. She seemed totally into me but she just flaked on me too! She was suppose to call yesterday to get together but didn't. I called, left a message, didn't hear back from her. She was the one that suggested we get together yesterday. She is leaving tomorrow on a trip for 2 weeks. I guess I will see if I want to talk to her when she gets back.... just feel disappointed. I thought there was some chance of this one developing into something more than casual dating.

What happened to the first baby?

I never really got into "online dating" but, if I did, I would say I would try to move quickly to a casual meet up (i.e. coffee in a public place,etc). I think conversation in person is a lot easier to flow than conversation online with a stranger. It is easier for you to move from one topic to another. It sounds like you are still talking to them online.... If not, and you are actually "Dating", maybe try to do some activities where conversation is created as a result of the activity (museum, rock climbing, go kart racing,etc,etc)

wow.... I hope you listen to everyone's advice and weren't just posting looking for someone to tell you how to "win" him.... It is clear to me that he wants you for the sex on the side.... If you don't believe this, tell him you think it is wrong to have sex with him while he is married and see how long he sticks around (or.... how long it takes him before he puts all of his efforts in trying to seduce you into sex again)...

I'll go with you to Las Vegas....

......

As for getting attached....... If you have this issue, I would suggest you stay away from getting too physical with a guy in the early stages in the future... You can still have plenty of fun with someone without sleeping with them. And you can still have that "chemistry" without sex....IN fact, I think it is stronger...because of that tension...

Yeah... I would say "go for it" but...... you might want to let the sexual stuff develop slowly..... He might be thinking "oh, I have a condom now... we can go all the way"... So, I don't know if you were using your drunkness as an excuse for doing something you really wanted anyway, or not. But, if you think of him as "Relationship" material I think you should slow things down a bit and get to know him a bit more so you can figure out what he is really looking for.