Drefan

Thanks, I think the worst part about this is the fact that I keep seeing her as the woman who seemed to love me more than anything for years up until about a year ago. I think about all the rediculously good times we had, I think about how much I was (and still am unfortunately) in love with her. I never really knew that your heart ~literally~ hurts after its broken, I thought that was just a metaphor. I am a really nice guy, I even told her that I gained more respect for telling me what she did, and when, although I think she says she only did it in October because that was the month we were living apart. I believe it happened after too, which would really disgust me, since she came home every day and acted normal. If that's the case, then she really is two-faced or has some problems I don't need to deal with. She did it in October, never told me, although I suspected, and then she bragged about it to other guys in her emails. I think the total of guys she talked about/had sexual relations with was about 5. In the back of my mind I keep thinking "was I not good enough for her?" and the real answer is "She wasn't good enough for me." Jeremy

Well, an update on my situation is: I stupidly went back to her for like 2 weeks, (didnt do anything stupid with her) mainly because I wanted to see my kids, found her secret email address, found the holy grail of "yep she's cheating with everyone she can find" Divorce is next week, I'm trying to be civil, i have all the emails printed in case she tries anything. I'm hurt, but least mine (and everyone heres) suspicions are confirmed. She finally admitted to cheating on me in October a few times, with 2 different guys, none of them "Art" - she still insists that guy was a friend of one of the other guys etc anyway, im going to bed, or gonna try. *cry* Jeremy

I told her that if she did cheat, that she should tell me so we could try to work things out, but that if she is holding it back from me, and lying about it, then that would only make things worse, because now I can't trust a thing she does. And then comes in the third variable, the guy might have lied to get back at us about another friend of ours we exposed cheating. I am branching towards the Occam's Razor (Simplest Explanation, is probably the correct one). Either way, I'm planning on moving in with my mother for a while until I can figure things out; be it get counciling, divorce, or find another way to mend our once good relationship. I would like to thank all of you for all of your help, suggestions, support, etc. Even those of you who havent responded to the thread, if you ever have a situation like this. Jeremy

I don't know how to find out where this guy lives. I definetely have some more questions for him. He knew when our lease was up in this apartment, he knew when we were going to have the DSL installed also. But my wife said she talked about that stuff to a lot of people at work (she works for a communications company).

That's just the thing. This affair supposetively happened in November/December, but she was home everyday right after work, never went out to her friends, etc. I dont know when she would have had time to do all of this. We weren't fighting, we were repairing our marriage to the fullest extent. When this all "happened" to go down, we were doing better I think than we had ever done. Unless she's been taking days off work (And I know she hasnt.. because I'm snoopy and check her work logs on the computer) she couldn't be cheating. I just wish I had HARD proof. Thanks for your responses so far Jeremy

There's more to the story to make me believe her though. About 6 months ago, a girl that my best friend was seeing on the internet moved out here to Phoenix, and she was staying with another friend of ours. Well the girl she was roommates with caught her cheating on my best friend and she told me. Well, I told my friend and he broke it off with this girl really quick. This girl worked at the same company as my wife. My wife insists its some kind of revenge for exposing her. That she got a friend of hers to come over to our apartment to ruin our marriage.

My name is Jeremy, and I have been married to my wife for just about 4 years. We have a 2 wonderful children together. About 2 years into the marriage I lost my job, and became a "stay at home dad". Well, unfortunetely during this time I became hooked into an online video game, and completely messed up our marriage. At the end of the lease on the house we were renting, she told me she was moving into her own apartment and that I needed to move in with my mom or dad. That was completely fine with me, I had woken up from my video game dream world and realized that I had FAR more important things to take care of. We were separated (but still technically together) for about 3 weeks. During this time she got a cell-phone from her mother. She would act really shadey with me about it and wouldnt let me use it or look at it. I'm still not quite sure how it worked out, but I moved into her new apartment with her. Since I still didnt have a job, and she had gotten a temporary babysitter for the kids, I told her I wanted to drop her off at work so I could drive around and look for a job. When I dropped her off in the parking lot, she jumped out REALLY quick like she had seen someone she didnt want me to see her with, I didn't even think about it until I got home. I didnt question this, I trusted her, and loved her more than anything. Well, this past monday, she came home from work early, because of some training thing at her job. About an hour after she got home, a guy knocked on the door. She wouldnt answer it, and said she thought it was guy trying to sell magazines or something. Well, eventually I answered the door, and the guy said "hi, are you Jeremy? I need to talk to you, please step outside with me" My heart sank. It was like I knew was coming, and I started shaking uncontrollably. He told me he had worked with her, and that he had been seeing her , but didnt know she had been married until recently, and wanted to let me know what was going on. He told me they had slept together, and that she had even gotten pregnant, but she aborted it in December. After he left, I went inside the apartment to confront her about it, she acted shocked and said she had no idea what I was talking about. They guy had given his name as simply "Art", and she said that she had known an Art from where she worked, but that he only worked with her for about 2 weeks, and that he didnt last long at the job. And then I make it worse? I told her I had cheated on her, to try to get her to feel more comfortable about telling me about this guy. Keep in mind I was lying to her and have never cheated on my wife. She fell to the ground and started crying uncontrollably asking me how I could do that to her. The next day, she came home during her lunchbreak and she called the local Plannedparenthood on speakerphone, and asked when the last abortion she had was. There was no record of her anywhere in the system. The only explanation for THAT though, is that she lied to this guy about being pregnant to either try to get rid of him, or to keep him. I'm really skeptical about all of this, and I don't know if I should try to bandage things up in my marriage, or slowly try to ween myself out while I can. I'm only 22 years old and have much of my life left to live. I'm mostly worried about my kids. I told my mom what had happened and she said I should believe my wife, and that it sounds like this guy from her work held a grudge of some sorts for some unrelated reason (or is it?). I just need some input guys, I'm really bumming about this, and I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you so much for reading this.