Good Afternoon Everyone,
This is my first time on eNotalone. Actually I stumbled upon this by accident. Here's the story: My fiance and I have been together for 4.5 years making 5 on June 26, 2003. During the course of our relationship, we both have been unfaithful to each other, but we decided to work out our problems nevertheless. This was up until the yr of 2001. He proposed to me in April of that yr. I really wanted to get married to him at the time, but wasn't really feeling his attitude. So in November of 2001, I decided to move out, back to my mom's house. During this time period, he would call me crying everynight, writing love letter/poems, and even going as far as to wait for me after work. I really wasn't accepting his apologies for the way he's treated me. thereforeeeeeee instead of giving him a second chance, I decided to be a real bitch. As I said to him at one point, "I want you, but at a distance". I really wanted my own space, seeing him on my own terms. We would be intimate with each other once a week or every two weeks. I wouldn't spend the night at his house at all. So to make a long story short, I decided that we should get married this coming June 26, 2003 and try to get our relationship back to the way it was.....until....little did I know....On March 30, 2003, I found an email in which he states to a woman how much he wants her, etc...I confront him about it, of course he lies. I guess that is the first initial reaction is to lie. As I put pressure on him, he decides to tell me the truth about having an 8 month relationship with this woman. I felt I coped with it very well, but 3-weeks later, he told me about 2 more women he was intimate with, and just last week there were 2 more women that he slept with in 2002. Mind you, we are getting married in June, already purchased the rings, etc....At this point, I can't even think, feel, or make sense of this situation. I do love this man with all of my heart and want him to be my husband. The reason that he gave me was I treated him more like a date and thereforeeeeeee he needed to fill a void since I was treating him badly and disrespecting him. He said he told me this b/c he couldn't go into marriage without confessing this to me even though we did not live together or see each other that much. So my question to the readers is: Is it really cheating, since I was never there and not supportive of my fiance to begin with? May be that is why I really haven't cried or gone ballistic about the entire situation? Am I crazy in love? or just plain crazy?
