octopus

Dear everyone, My bf broke up with me this sunday. We'd been living together for 5 months. His reason was that he is 7 years older than me, and he has a 'schedule' (he wants to get married before its too late) and that he doesnt love me the way he did at the beginning of our relationship, or like he loved other women before. He cant get married with that component missing. This is devastating to me because we DID have a good and a special relationship, there is a long list of things we do together and we enjoy our every day. It confuses me as hell because at the beginning I was the one who didn't love him, I thought our first kiss was disgusting, but now I feel like I can't afford to lose him because he wants to keep looking for a bride. We've only been together 6 months and while everything was great for the past 5, we had a monotonous 1 month, which was probably caused by me living with him, trying to adapt to his lifestyle and maybe forgetting (or giving up) things about my life style. But we've started out great and there's no reason why that is lost forever. Looks to me like he's lost that loving feeling, and I'm afraid he'll go back to an ex soon, and I'm soo confused. Just thinking about him with an ex drives me nuts. I just want more time, and I'm sure we'll be normal again. But he's turning 32 this week, and I think he feels the pressure of his 'schedule'. When we talked sunday night, I cried the whole time, begging him to give us more time, since our relationship is young, and it was great at the beginning and it could still be great, i think I made a complete fool of myself with crying like that. I work in a different city, so I left Monday morning and won't see him until Friday evening. I know I should move out ASAP. I will do that. And since I have an international trip coming up, we wont see each other for 3 weeks. But I want to him to give US another chance. How can that happen?? SOmeone please tell me that there is a chance (even 10%) that he might miss me in those 3 weeks.. Please... I don't think this his fair, that he had a change of heart so quickly and that we're ending something beautiful so soon because of his schedule. I have been in NC since Monday, except for the few times he IMd me about the mail I'd received that day, and he doesn't know that I wont be coming home for 3 weeks, and moving out asap after I get back. Someone please tell me what to do, I love him, I want to be with him... Help... I'm devastated..