Hi,
Well tonight I'm sleeping on the couch again. Seams to be a pretty regular occurrence lately, maybe once a week. Sometimes she sleeps on the couch too. I guess it depends who got into bed first on the fight night.
Mainly we fight about my family. Tonight our fighting is based around my brothers wedding. My wife doesn't get on with by brothers fiance. The only reason that I can see for that BTW, is that my wife is jealous of her. But thats not my main concearn today.
My main concearn is that I am tired of listening to her complain about my family. I understand that not everyone is perfect and my family certainly have their fair share of flaws (as do I), but there has to be a point when you have to forgive the past, accept one anothers faults, and move forward.
At my brothers wedding I will be the best man and I will obviously be involved in the wedding ceremony. I have also volunteered to help out with some of the preparations. It's my brothers wedding and I want it to be a great family day. But my wife is so totally anti the whole thing and that's becoming very difficult for me to deal with. I am frustrated that she cannot be happy about the wedding and get involved herself.
Here is what's bothering her:
We have a 10 month old daughter and the wedding is out of town. We're flying there, as are the bride and groom and all the other guests. My wife is upset with my brother and his fiance because she feels they were inconciderate to have the wedding so far away. She feels that she was not concidered when they made that decision in the fact that we have to take our daughter with us, and she is probably right.
But... it is THEIR wedding day and they can choose to have it where they like as far as I'm concearned. She can always choose not to come, but that presents another set of issues. i.e. She'll feel left out, My family will feel rejection, blah blah blah.....
There may also be a litttle bit of jealousy about the wedding. We had, as a lot of people do, control issues at our wedding between my Mother and my wife.
We do have other forgivness issues between her and my family, but I guess I can't unload everything in one posting. But lets just say that I feel like I owe it to MY family to defend them more but it causes a lot of arguments between my wife and I, so it inevitably just builds up inside me while she just gives me a good earbashing about how terrible they all are. I try to justify their behaviour but I don't push to hard, to avoid a large conflict between us.
How can I get her to feel more apart of my family? Her family live overseas, and whenever we visit them, I feel very much a part of her family. Her family is lovely! I love them, and I feel that it is reciprocated. I would like the same thing here for her, but it seams an impossibility. What is most important to me is that I don't want her to impart her ill feelings toward my family onto our dughter. I feel that the relationship issues between my wife and my family are preventing my family from having their fair share of interaction with my daughter. She has a right to have good, frequent contact with her grandparents and her uncle too. What can I do?
Anway, I guess for tonight, I probably deserve to sleep on the couch. Our exchange ended like this:
Her: "Everyone in your family are selfish!"
Me: "No.... you're the one who's selfish"
Comfy_Couch
