I'm sorry to post another question asking about one's sexuality to total strangers who probably have no better clue than I do. But, what can I do. I need help!
So here is my situation:
I started to think about girls when I was 14 years old. The strange thing was, I never thought there was anything odd with this. It was like a totally separate thing from the rest of my life. I still had little junior high boyfriends, etc. (of course with no pre-teen action) As, I got older it never entered my mind that I could be anything but straight, except for when I..eh hem..(don't know if I should be vulgar), I was always thinking about women.
It wasn't until I was 18 that something clicked and I thought maybe, just maybe I could be bi. However, I never wanted to act on this. I continued to be with just men, the only thing, the only time I would ever hook up with a guy was when I was drunk. When I was sober, I didn't want anything to do with it. But, when I was drunk I was enjoying it for the most part. As, I went through college, I thought about women more and more and men less.
But, now...I am kind of torn. I talk to guys and I think..mm..this could be ok. I am wondering if me thinking I could be bi or a lesbian was me having a really active imagination..is that even possible?? I mean thinking about actually..being..bi or lesbian creates this like personal dissonance (if that makes any sense?), I feel like its not me. I feel like other people have these moments were they wake up one morning and go, "yes! that's it! I'm gay!"
I just feel like I am almost 23 years old now and I should have this figured out right? And, I know that people will say, "just go with it, be yourself"..but I think at a certain point in life, shouldn't you have a sexual identity?? And, not be completely clueless? Or maybe I should seek psychological help. lol.
Thank you to whoever answers this.
