Allowing my brother to move into my house was a really bad idea. I'm starting to think that helping a stranger is better than helping a family member because family always thinks that because you are "family" you will be soo lenient on them.
During the spring time I allowed my brother (22 years old) to move in with me (26 years old), my daughter (10 y/o) and my fiancé. He stood with us because he lost his job and couldn't pay rent. That should have been my first sign of things to come, but nooo I thought I could trust him and everything would be ok. He stood with us for 3 weeks until a room became available at his friends house in NY, which he was going to rent. After going there and "unable to find a job" in three weeks he started calling me telling me that things are not working out, he cannot find a job and he is "desperate and does not know what to do".
I started a career in real estate sales this year and have been quite busy, so I told my fiancé, "how about we allow him to come stay with us temporarily until we settle on the second house we are purchasing as an investment. He would help me with my work, I will pay him something for helping me until he can find work and if he does well with me I will help him get into the same line of business as me and we can even be partners. Also, as soon as we settle on this investment house, we will allow him to live in it for six months and he can cover just the expenses of the house without paying us anything extra to help him save money to get his own place." Sounds like a plan right? Wrrooong! What a big freaking mistake.
Throughout these 2 months he has not looked for work. He stays up all night on the internet talking to his boyfriends (yes he is gay), meeting guys online, meeting with these guys in person who he just meets off of the internet. Which, they come to the front of my house to pick him up. He has even left in the middle of the night, left my door unlocked so he could get back in because he did not have the keys. Then he comes home and sleeps during the day, to get up and watch his talk shows and programs. It bugs me the fact that I leave every morning to work with my fiancé while he is sleeping in the office room my fiancé had to give up for him. One of the BIGGEST things that bugs me also, is the fact that after living with me for 2 weeks or so he tells me that he has to get tested for HIV because one of his ex-partners called him to tell him that he had HIV and that he should get tested, which he has not gone to get tested. This worries me big time because we only have one bathroom which we all share and before he told me this, I had never been careful around him. I am also scared for my daughter. It also makes me angry at the fact that he has used my daughters' computer to surf for gay porn and uses my work laptop for these uses all the time. He was not even embarrassed when I told him that I knew what he was doing this in my daughters computer and that he needed to stop. He just gave me a casual "ok". I am not saying that I am against him being gay, is just that I don't want my daughter stumbling on this on her computer neither do I want to know all the details of his life style.
My fiancé confronted him the other day about the whole situation and his reply was "I have not look for work because here where we live there are not many public buses going into the city." This is total bull. The buses are not that great but they run at least every hour. My fiance told him that he needs to get off his behind and look for work because he cannot continue to live with us. He only went out twice last week looking for work and that's all. Now he is telling me that he is planning to take some classes to work as a bank teller, which will last for 3 weeks. He then said that he will wait until he moves into our investment house, which will be the first week of November, to then look for a job because the house is in the city.
I don't know what to do. I just feel like letting him move into our investment house just so he can leave, but then again I don't want him to because I don't trust that he will be able to pay for it. The only thing I can give him credit for is that he tries to help out by cleaning around the house and making dinner for us, which yeah it may be nice but it is not important to me. I just want my life back. I regret doing this. It is a shame because I really did not know that he was this type of person. I gave up on him. Now I just want my old life back. I will never again help a family member.
What should I do? Some input please.
