AGrPerson

I agree that I am also part of the problem. What I want in a conversation is for both of us to find a topics which we can easily discuss and for the conversation to flow easily. I see that that's not the case and that's why I'm troubled. Maybe I'm the problem. i don't know.

I'm not telling that it's his problem that we can't keep a conversation going. Obviously it takes two people to have a conversation. My problem is that I don't know what I can do in this case in order for us to communicate better. When I say "interesting" I mean for us to find topics which we can both easily discuss, because we've already talked about basic stuff. My background is science.

Well, isn't 5 dates too soon to get into a relationship?

Well, it's not about what we are talking about, but the difficulty to discuss something. I mean after every date it seems harder and harder to find topics to discuss.

The guy I'm going out with now asked me if we're in a relationship now that we had sex and I said to him that it's too early to say that we are in a relationship, mainly because we have those communication issues. I'm not sure how it sounded to him though.

Is that something that can be discussed with the other person even during the first few dates? I mean your preference.

Do you mean here that I should talk about exclusivity before getting intimate with someone?

I'm a monogamous person and I like going out with one person at a time. But is it okay to talk about exclusivity from the first date?

I would also like your opinion on something else: In a time where people tend to go out and get intimate with multiple people do you believe that the talk about exclusivity should be done before getting intimate with someone? Do you think me getting intimate with him before getting to know him is a dangerous approach regarding my health? (Even though we used protection).

Thank you for your responses! Well, I keep feeling that maybe if I was more of an extrovert we would communicate in a better way. Because, as a person I'm not able to open up if I'm not feeling comfortable enough when I'm on a date with someone. I try though to be myself when on dates and be more relaxed.

Yeah, he's comfortable with showing affection like kissing, hugging, or holding hands, but he's not good at keeping up a conversation, or saying what's on his mind. You could also say that he's not very expressive either.

Yeah we cuddled together and slept till morning. He's really comfortable with cuddles, hugs and showing his affection. We've talked about several things like what we seek ideally from the other person, our backstory, what we do for a living, hobbies etc. The thing is that there are many time when it feels awkward or times were we are in total silence. And that's something that happens when we are on dates outside. When we're indoors things are much more comfortable, we are more open with each other.

No I do not. But since I haven't been in a relationship, I fail to recognize how it should be, or when it's too early to give up on someone.

Well, he texted me today to see how I'm doing, but during the last 4 hours we've discussed pretty basic stuff, like what I did today and how his trip was. And it's like that every time. It's not that he's not trying, it's that we fail to have an interesting conversation. It's the same during our dates.

Yes.

Yeah, we've discussed these things. We've been on 5 dates. We go for a coffee or a drink. Or watch a movie indoors.

I see. Well, when we plan outdoor dates it's really boring, but when we plan indoor dates (watching a movie etc) we have a really great time. Maybe because we are not forced to have to constantly talk to each other.

Thank you all for your comments! I would like to ask one question: How do you know when you don't have chemistry with the other person and when it's simply too soon to have developed a connection with the other person?

No, the day before yesterday.

After 2 weeks.

I thought that it would bring us closer to each other. That it was what was missing.

1) Well, I felt that maybe getting sexual would help us get closer to each other. 2) The same as above. Well we're both looking for a relationship to be honest. 3) No, when I talk about good communication I mean being comfortable to the presence of one another, being comfortable to talk about things, having a good time when talking to each other. Honestly, I'm new to dating and I haven't had a relationship before so I find your information really valuable. Do you believe that having been on 5 dates is too soon for us to have established a good way of communicating? Was it too soon to get sexual with him?

It's someone different, yes. It's true that it happened pretty quickly. It's the guy I went out on a date that day.

Well, we've talked about all those things but it keeps feeling like we're interviewing each other and like we're trying too hard to keep talking to each other. The natural flow of a conversation is missing. The same applies to texting too. I got my hopes up during the previous days since he started to open up a bit, but now I feel like we are disconnected again.

He went on a trip today for the weekend and I want to text him and ask him if he arrived safely but I know that we won't be able to maintain a conversation.