Chloe2218

Your post has me crying hysterical. You're so strong!! I'm only three weeks in and I don't look forward to this. I know I have a long road ahead of me and that uncertainty is suffocating. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and watching a lot of YouTube videos and getting all different types of perspectives and then I somehow stumbled upon a neuroscientist YouTube and found his 2 1/2 hour to 3 hour podcast really distracting but also really interesting and it kind of took my mind off of my ex. I love to learn and it's just fascinating to hear how the brain works and how your body works and handles certain things. 🤷🏽‍♀️ if you're interested I could provide you with his name. And I did group therapy for the first time today and that seemed kind of nice though I was sad for a lot of the people in there it's a nice distraction to help somebody else. I also don't know where you stand religiously but maybe you could dive into your faith more. Or also in a book I read every time you think about your ex just tell yourself I will get back to that and allow yourself a time later on to think about it but increase the amount of time every time that you delay it. And by doing this, You're taking some control over the thoughts and not letting them control you. I hope this was helpful I'm very scatterbrained right now and it's 3:30 in the morning where I am and I'm a hot mess but I'm sending a virtual hug the struggle is real.

I'm struggling really hard right now.... I'm about three weeks not talking to my ex, my choice because I know he'd pick up if I texted or called. He broke up with me today is a month. And he moved out December 18. Those of you that don't know I posted a few times in the last few weeks. Those posts have a lot more information right now I'm just looking for some encouraging words because I'm like really hurting big time. my heart is like physically and it's heavy and I'm just sad! I'm just so sad that it's over. And I still can't believe that it's over, I think I might be accepting that it's over which is scary because I think it's getting me even more scared. I don't know I just need some virtual hugs.

Perfectly said!! Thank you

On one hand it doesn't seem ill intended, but on the other hand why not just be open about it when I'm telling you about the Christmas gifts I got you. Instead you're going to hide it somewhere for me to find it later. That's thoughtless and insensitive. And not cute as it would be if we were still together .... and now if it was for the dog that would be a different story. But it wasn't. I'm going to see if I could return it

Thanks all. He did not text on New Year's. And I've been working on myself since then trying to I signed up for therapy that starts this week... and today I'm 18 days no contact. But I now have a new situation..... Update*** 1/7/24 two days ago, I was just taking my stockings down and this is what I found in Chloe's stocking..... (Chloe is my dog) [a blue Post-it note with the words written on it, "It was me, Sorry"] and a shopping bag from Ulta w/ 2 items in it. Buddy the Elf (from the movie) (which I am obsessed with by the way) Scrunchies & hair clip. Back in November I was looking at my ULTA rewards point balance to see how many more points I needed for 2023 to keep a certain status and noticed the purchase in a Brentwood store of these two products. I called HIM, my mom, and my sister and asked them if any of them used my phone number at ulta to purchase these.... everybody said no. I just thought it was really weird. And too coincidental that somebody mistakenly used my phone number and purchased these items. This was November 16. when I looked through my photos I see a picture on 10 December where my dogs stocking is clearly empty. He was at work from the 11th until the 14th where we spent our last four days together and he was moving out.... during that time I showed him Christmas gifts I got for him. At any point during those four days he could have brought this out and said and by the way it was me I got you those things. Instead he decided to hide it in my dogs stocking. Knowing that I typically don't take Christmas decorations down until close to February..... how does somebody think that it is OK to do something like this. He's not thinking about me or my mental well-being and again to me it looks like he's trying to keep me hooked. I'm just really annoyed at the situation.

So my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me dec10. Moved out Dec 18th. My last contact Dec 20th. Sent me a gift Dec 23rd. Texted merry Christmas Dec 25th. And this new years would have been our 7th. We met this day 12/31/17..... what is he thinking right now. I dont think he will text me because I didn't respond to the merry Christmas text. I've been almost 12days NC. This is a special day for us. So I'm just wondering if he's struggling? I'm sad. If he does text.... what should I do? anyway. Happy new year!

Thank you for your encouraging words. It's day nine for me of no contact and yesterday I spent the whole day listening to podcasts which I don't know if it helped or not and at least occupied my brain. I'm just trying to take it one hour at a time. Last night I was looking at our old text messages from when we "broke up "the summer of 2020. And there was never any no contact there was just me trying to get him back and kind of being manipulative. But not in a malicious way. But in a selfish way obviously. I mean the guy has Told me countless times that he's exhausted and emotionally drained and I've just continued to try to get him back every time. For some reason this time something clicked for me. And I just let him go gracefully.

So actually all of Christmas morning I was crying hysterically and couldn't stop like deep deep belly cries. And once he texted it made it stop. and as of now I still believe we're meant to be together so I'm always gonna keep that door open. And I'm definitely a strong person where I will stick to my guns and not be tempted to text I will ask 18,000 people before I actually send the text message or call. I know he definitely knows that I'm torn up. You don't know somebody for six years as emotional as I am and think that after a week I am "fine" lol. I bet he thinks it's really strange how much strength I have that I haven't spoken to him. Because I'm somebody who tells my feelings all the time instantly and he's the complete opposite. I think he was just doing what he thought I wanted, i.e. the Christmas village piece and the Christmas text message. Are all things that are really important to me and I think he needs to learn how to break the habit of taking care of me or doing things to please me. And he needs to not live in his guilt. I feel like he has a lot of guilt right now and rightfully so he should.

No. I can't be his friend. He knows that. ☹️

Thank you. I cant pinpoint exactly what the breakup was about. He said he just needed a change, he didn't feel like himself anymore. He's not happy. I feel like it was a lot of things that was about him. I'm still a little confused about it. But it was something that had to be done he said I don't know everything's very cryptic. I just feel like he needs to get himself help mentally. He's a very indecisive person. So maybe pressure from me and him, also being our age and six years into the relationship he still doesn't know whether or not he wants to marry me.... I don't know I would really like some more clarity on why I was dumped exactly why he "couldn't do it anymore" I can get some clarity whenever he finally processes it... and the worst part is that New Year's Eve is coming up and that's the day we met. And then two weeks after that is our anniversary. I I just feel like I'm getting through it every day but I'm getting through it with the hopes that me staying strong in the no contact, is going to bring him back. like I still have hope and I'm just scared when that hope is gonna go away.

Hello all, 6 year relationship, living together, rocky last year. Boyfriend (m-35) breaks up with me (f-33) dec 10th. Moves out Dec 18th. The most amicable, mature, moving out/ parting ways experience I've ever had. We talk the 19th, sweet goodbye messages kind of and then the 20th he texts me because something reminded him of a decoration I had. Anyway I heart-ed it and that was the last contact. December 23 I come home and there is a package at my front door for me. In the box is a Christmas village piece. There is no name there is no order form there is nothing. I called the company and I just wanted to find out what the purchase date was and it was December 20 two days after he moved out. 10 days after he initially broke up with me. It was from him. Christmas morning he texts me "merry Christmas 🎄" I was torn up all day what to do. I didn't respond because I don't know what to do and I don't think I wanna respond and I don't want to respond just to make him feel better. I love this man. And anybody who knows me knows that Christmas is my favorite holiday. But was it a MERRY Christmas? NO, because I got dumped two weeks prior. And then he has the audacity to send me a gift in the mail of something I was going to buy myself. And then the audacity to text me merry Christmas!?!? Now looking at it from his point of view which I'm assuming because I've known him for six years, he meant nothing malicious by it, it was all done with his heart. And I appreciate that aspect of him. But he wasn't thinking about me and my boundaries and my healing process. It's only been a week of no contact on my end at least. Which is not a lot. I'm wondering if I did the right thing in not responding to any of it?