kamadev292004

Thank you all for the responses.i completely agree with oceaneyes bout the importance of sex.....i have experienced it first hand .....for all those who argue that sex is not important. Love her yes i do, but i dont want to have sex with her. I care for her, make sure everything is in order for her, do the dishes and help her cook when i can. But sex if the only thing I cannot imagine doing with her these days. I will probably speak to her about this, but if she still doesnt agree, i think this match is - as oceaneyes put it - not made in heaven....it might end.Not sure what i was thinking....or was blinded by...why did she switch roles so quickly after the marriage - as though her job was done once she got married and now everything would be hunky dory with her not doing exactly as she was doing before the marriage. I wanted to be with her and spend the rest of my life with her with the both of us doing exactlty what we were because that made us happy. But a change in lifestyle so quickly after the marriage, has caught me by surprise....btw i did joke about a lot of things in life. even with about my tummy showing if i didnt workout...or when she joked about it....life was good....before she started adding pounds.. -KD

oceaneyes..i dated her for a year and she was slim then..remember she was working out with me...somehow the days 30 days before the marriage and the days after the marriage now, with all the festivities and food, and eating out ....things have changed. its like a switch was turned on and she added weight....in fact even before the marriage, i did make it clear i was not comfortable with women who are not slim. no offence meant to them...its just a personal preference. -KD

i know that if i tell her i will see her weep and cry and i dont want to hurt her. I used to jokingly mention that she has a tummy now....but she took offense to that and asked why I had married her and if i thought t was a mistake. although i do feel it is a mistake, i do not want to say it outright and get her crying. i am trying to balance what i feel against her being happy. id rather she hate me for something i do and leave me...but i know she loves me a lot...but cant accept me asking her to workout and reduce her weight coz i want a slim girl in bed. do i be honest with her? and risk her crying now? or end up cheating and make her hate me and then break up?...a break up seems inevitable... -KD

hello, I was married to my wife a month ago. Before the marriage , we used to workout and although my wife is a little on the heavier side, the fact that she was doing something to reduce it looked promising. After the marriage, the workouts have stopped. I still workout and try to look and feel good for her. But the same is not reciprocated. I am not attracted to her sexually anymore. I dont want to have sex with her anymore. I love her because she is a wonderful person and has a sweet charming face and smile. But she is gaining weight and I do not want to have any sexual contact. I do not even get aroused when she holds me or strips. For everyone around, the marriage has made everyone happy, except me. When I did point out that she was adding weight and had stopped working out, she said "i did not ask you to change , so do not ask me to change" I believe every person has a reason for behaving the way they do, thereforeeee i do not argue with her about that. But i am not happy. Sexually unsatisfied and often hate going out with her, because when i see slim women out there, I feel i have made a big mistake. Is it wrong to feel this way? getting attracted to slim women because the woman you are with is not sexually attractive anymore? Is it wrong on my part to seek an end to the relationship if i am not happy? I do not want her to change her ways for me, because she is happy doing what she is doing. For me, of course, I havent had sex for the last one month because of this....( and this is just the second month of marriage!!!!!) -KD