ElizabethI

This is a breath of fresh air. Thanks so much!

Easier said than done my dear 😪 It's like the head knows but the heart does not care. I am really considering moving. But i have to be honest the comments here from total strangers really feel like hugs. I am surprised. Like people know these things! It's not so shocking. It has happened under the sun to many. I am not some kind of weirdo afterall pheww! 🤧 There is a weird comfort in that. Thank you.

It's funny you should say that- because if i am being honest for some strange reason her aura was good- She looked like a broke version of Amy Winehouse and not in a good "i'm broke but cooler than you all punk rock" hot look,no just in a bad way. Like just high and just meh with the "dog chains" and dark makeup and everything but her aura- can't explain was that of someone gentle 🤔 Again i could be wrong maybe she was just high on drugs and was in the zone but when he approached me out of the Sauna to find out how i am fairing- with her on his side- she didn't give me any bad energy. She was very calm- actually gave me a good vibe, like someone who'd be my friend. Which is strange but i did notice it oh well i wish them well! I just feel like 1 week *sigh* what is he doing with a chic 1 weel later! It's awful! Thanks for the insight though. Appreciated.

Two things you have right: 1)He did have red flags which i refused to take a closer look at and if i am being honest here- it's because he is very very very hot. Looking back i can admit it. Ashamed to admit it but it's true! One incident in particular- we were out at a restaurant and an overweight girl told him to move his chair. He did not hear her and so i signalled him to get out of her way- she was behind him trying to squeeze through- when he turned around, she rolled her eyes at him and yelled at him, "You might wanna chew quieter pretty boy. The whole restaurant can hear you chewing. MOVE!!!" before pushing him away. He turned around and said to her,"You might want to not chew at all miss. Piggy, you look like you ate your whole family- quit chewing all together! Get the f*ck out of my face before i break it into 8 equal pieces you fat biitch!" 😳 That was a red flag right there! A red flag which i chose to just laugh off. As ashamed as i am to admit- I found it to be quiet funny at the moment. They were both crazy and it was hillarious! Looking back though men don't generally answer us women when we roll our eyes at them let alone threaten to punch us 🤔 At the supermarket, at the parking lot, at the mall you name it- we are rude to men all day but men don't take us on 🤔 They tend to just ignore us when we are being mean to them in public. So that was harsh of him towards her! 2.You are also right- him declaring out loud at the bar that he'd marry me someday made me feel great especially after drinks. Looking back i was just slow! He was/is a good manipulator. Thanks for pointing out that maybe i need more time before dating. God bless!

By gang bang i obviously meant shot at each other with guns LOL! Yeah you are right- i got played! I was none the wiser.

Thank you so much. And thanks for providing the link. My sister also thinks that he was hoping that i see him with a girl. She doesn't believe he coincidentally came to the spa with her. That is so highschool honestly but if it was meant to put me down- well it worked! But thanks for the encouragement! I wish sociopaths came with a forehead sticker or something. Sooo convincing! God bless you for the insight.

Thanks i will. Eeeewww i kissed him 🤭😅 Thank you for that 👍🏼

I just screenshot this reply. I will keep it nearby and read it every now and then. You have no idea how encouraging it felt reading it. Especially the part where you pointed out that the timing was all wrong. He did this when i am vulnerable. Now i understand why it hit me more than it should. Thanks man. God bless.

That part where you said "If anything, this might bring you a little bit of the reality that you are attractive to potential suitors"......Man i needed to read that pheewww! Words can have so much power. I mean he is hot and was all goo gooo ga ga about me so yeah there's hope lol! Thanks!

Thanks. Never knew the dating life got this difficult. Was married 5 years! We've been separated 8 months and as soon as i regained alittle confidence, stick my neck out, someone's already ready to chop off my whole head! Life is so unfair! Men - i just got back to the game! But thanks for reading my rant and giving input. Just knowing people get it makes me feel better.

Easier said than done but thank you anyway. I just thought ...i only thought.....I mean i really did think that this was it!!! We connected. It flowed. He said it was easy and comfortable.....One time i was like "raise your glass baby- a toast" And then we both wondered to what? And he stood up and yelled to the whole bar,"listen up people i'm gonna marry this woman someday! A toast to that."....I was blushing so badly all those strangers cheering! I mean how great of an actor, a liar, can a man be. It hurts to think of all these little moments! Argh! But thanks for insight- God bless!

Thank you. Actually i feel a tiny bit better after ranting and seeing that people are not shocked. It somehow makes me realize that i am not alone. It happens to other women *sigh*

Thanks for the insight. God bless. This whole thing is just soooo bad!!! So what- He is a perfect liar?! It's one of those things you wonder why it happened to you!!! Why did i have to meet him and why did he talk to me???! Like why me??? Why did it feel soooo real! Especially the last kiss on a bridge. It was sooooo real with him whispering in my ear how he can't believe his feeling this way! I just can't wait for my divorce to be finalized so i can leave this small town!!! That might sound extreme but this guy has me messed up! Whose to say i won't bump into him again and again making me feel worse and worse! It sucks- i just want to go away somewhere far! But thanks.

Okay. I really felt so so so down. But oh well. Thanks for the input.

Much appreciated. Thanks. This hurts like crazy. More than it should but thank you.

Thanks man. It sucks!

Don't accept a half hearted girl when u can have a woman who is all in. I think you should have a talk with her and then judge if she is serious or just wasting your time. Good luck! All the best.

This guy is a con. Sorry but i feel it in my bone. Please move on and all the best!

This sounds abusive to me. Sorry. All i can say is PUT YOUR CHILD FIRST. Don't be a stressed mom. Your child is the one who will suffer. All the best.

Oh dear. I am in a similar situation where he did not text much in the beginning but talked much when we met. Maybe that was a red flag i ought to have not ignored! Because i just got eventually ghosted. Tread carefully is all i can say. All the best

Sorry but you just MUST be direct with him. Do not sugar coat anything. In my view it's great to dream but dreaming without a do-able strategy is just building castles in the air. You have to confront this HEAD ON. All the best

Please someone give me sound advice here. I have specifically created this account just to ask this. Sorry it's kinda long but i plan to pour my whole heart out! So I met this very hot guy in the Sauna (while going through my separation). From the moment he said hallo to me we just connected instantly. It was like magic. We ended up sitting in a quiet corner just the two of us chatting away. We had dinner together that same day and a few drinks then we went out to the local bar. By the 3rd date we just could not stop kissing! It was MAGNETIC! A real pull towards one another. We ended up touring a museum and just kissing the whole time. The tour guide could tell we were not paying attention to her and even remarked,"Can the two of you look at what i am showing you for just a sec! I mean you did pay"...That's how annoying we were. Like teens- giggling, kissing, holding hands just being soooo into one another. He is 32 and i am 33 but we were like highschool kids the whole time and we both agreed it had been such a great date. We didn't text much mostly coz we both worked crazy shifts but maybe coz he just did not want to. I don't know! 4th and 5th date were chill and i decided to tell him about my marriage etc. I was so surprised at how cool and understanding he was about it all. I expected him to RUN! But he did not. Infact he sounded like he wants me to divorce ASAP so he can have me all to himself. My separation/divorce is a process that's taking months coz my ex is protecting his money and hidding assets etc. So the divorce isn't about to be finalized anytime soon but he did not seem to mind. He was super sweet about it. So we talked alot of private things and he kept saying how he wants me FOREVER. He kept insisting on the FOREVER part. He just wanted to spend his life with me. He said soooo much and promised sooo much! By like the 8th or 10 th date- (still no sex but at this point we had already had 2 very hot & steamy make out sessions! We both loved it), he said he had things to confess to me. I listened and tried not to sound judgemental or holier-than-thou especially coz he had not been judgemental about my own situation. So his situation: 1)He is from jail for stabbing a guy but luckily the guy did not die. 2)He used to be in a crew. They gang banged. 3)He sold and used cocaine for about 4 years. But he turned his life around in 2014 when his ex girlfriend's father became his mentor. He says he has been clean since 2014 coz his ex girlfriend's dad was very hard on him. The ex-girlfriend's dad was a reformed mob boss himself so he knew all the tricks in the book. This guy could not lie to him or play games- and so he said he gave him the tough love he needed. He was very hard on him. Laid down the rules that if he wanted to keep dating his daughter he had to be clean. Got him into rehab, got him a job, moved him to a different city away from his old crew, supported him mentally, emotionally and financially. That relationship did not work out but he obviously still has mad respect for that family especially the dad. I listened, i reassures him, i was encouraging. Told him i was proud of him and i am glad he told me. At this point we were both sooo loving, kind to one another and into one another 100% We were soooo transparent. Telling one another our deepest secrets, fears etc.. We went out swimming, we went out for lunch, for drinks at the bar etc. It was just a beautiful time. Then out of nowhere- i text him like,"Hey are we still going to the wine festival tomorrow evening?" AND BOOM! "Listen baby, i am a bad guy. I will bring you nothing but pain. You are sooo precious. So kind, so nice with such a pure heart. I truly enjoyed your company. You are sooo gorgeous but please let's forget this. Forget all this! I need to focus on my life. I can't promise u anything but if the universe decides to bring us together later then maybe! Chao" That is what he texted me!!! FROM LITERALLY NO WHERE!!! Everything was fine! But that is what he texted!!! I was numb! One of those things where you don't even know what to feel! I replied- "What a shame. I was willing to change everything for you. For us. But if that's what u want, then all the best. Bye" dropped my phone and slept day and night!!! A week later- i am chilling in the Sauna after a night out with friends and guess who walks into the Sauna with a girl in his arm????! Yeah you guessed it!!! At this point too many questions are floating in my mind- "could it be a black thing???" (TO BE HONEST THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT. I am sorry to bring up race but i am only being brutally honest here! See he is white and i am black.) He walked in with this very skinny white girl. Side note: i haven't described her as "skinny" in a condescending way- no not at all. I respect people of all sizes but just that he was obsessed with my curves and kept talking of how i was the hottest, sexiest woman with the biggest behind he had ever been with! Kept saying how he can't wait to *you know what* She looked like the complete opposite of me. I am more natural and smooth. She had heavy dark metal rock makeup and that whole hard rock look "dead eyes" very skinny and not particularly pretty. Again i am not trying to be mean. She looked more like someone who does drugs complete with the "dog chains". So i thought to myself "no way this hot guy finds her pretty". I mean especially coz he thought i was gorgeous. And truth be told- i do look good so i was like "this must be a race thing" i did not know what else to think. I am sorry but i was soooo confused! I also thought,"uuummm a week? REALLY???? He is hooking up after a week???? Did we not have something? Could he have been just a player this whole time?" Honestly i was so hurt. He then walks up to me outside the Sauna with the "dead eyes" girl in his arm and says, "Oh i didn't expect to see you here. How are you? I thought you work weekends? Are u good. Is everything alright?" WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE????? Is all i could think!!! I smiled and answered i am fine. His date looked high the whole time and she just waved at me. But truth be told- despite how she looked- she did have "good vibes"...There was no bad energy from her. Or maybe she was too drunk to care! I don't know! I just answered him real quick and just left the place all together! DAY RUINED! I was just crashed inside!!! It's been 2 days and i feel broken! WHAT IS THIS?????? I need insight before i lose my mind here. Please someone break it down for me. Thanks!