Caffeine-intrevenous

SO much I want to say. It's been so long and then you appear out of nowhere, stirring things up again, making me miss you, making me think you miss me. I was seriously thinking about a different life, thinking maybe this time I could seriously be part of your life despite how awkward it would be with your family, your brother. Then suddenly, once I'm hooked you cut the line, just like you did over and over again. You keep secrets about your past but I know, I KNOW, but I didn't care. I was proud of you for overcoming your struggles. But I'll never tell you that.

You talk about love like it's a completely rational thing, but it isn't. Maybe you could fall in love with her, but it sounds like there's more of a chance that you'll resent her. If she's such an amazing person, she should be with someone who loves her instead of someone who might someday love her. It will hurt her and you'll probably feel guilty but it sounds like it needs to end.

Sounds like it's time for a serious conversation about the relationship. If he can't give you a reason for not wanting to live together after 4 years, it's a big red flag. It could be something as straight forward as fear of change, but it could be more serious. Maybe suggest he spend a couple of weeks living with his parents 7 days a week, because the way he's acting now that's how he's going to end up.

Sorry @catfeeder A and K are the same person, not sure how I got my letters mixed up 🤦🏻‍♀️

When I was a teenager I was in a relationship with someone, I'll call him A because I don't want to name names. Hindsight, he was probably my first love but he was immature. He'd be sweet and lovely for a while, wanting us to spend time together, but then he'd become distant and ghost me. A few months later he'd be back in touch apologising and I'd believe things would be different. Eventually I had enough and for my own sanity refused to get back together because every time he got what he wanted (me) he didn't it anymore. Many years have gone by. I last saw him in 2009 as an adult, we had a casual drink, we were still attracted to each other but nothing happened. Shortly after that, I took a job offer and moved away. I told him I was leaving and didn't hear from him. Bridges were burned with many people. I've had relationships since then, but admittedly from time to time I did wonder how he was doing. I have FB but I stopped using it a few years ago for mental health reasons (that would be me burning more bridges). About a month ago I saw something TV that brought back a lot of memories for me. It wasn't just my hometown, I was looking at the road I grew up on. It made me think of an old friend, so I went on to FB, and there was a message from K. We're both 30-something year old adults now, we live in different cities about an hour away from each other but we have exchanged numbers and have been speaking to each other a few times a week for about a month now. I've really liked speaking to him again. There were large parts of my life I chose to forget when I moved away but in pushing away the bad things all the good things went with them. There's feelings there now. He admitted that before I did but I have feelings for him too. The crux of the matter: I suggested we meet up in person, I even offered to travel to his city but he doesn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea. He said "maybe". Now I'm thinking, has he not changed at all? Does he want attention from me but then when he gets it he doesn't want it anymore? Or am I assuming the worst of him by thinking that? I am a natural pessimist. My adult brain has checked out and I feel like an emotionally confused teenager all over again 🫣