Sindy_0311

So I guess this is bad also…

I have one during the week and he then asked if I had plans for the coming weekend, said if I also wanted to, he would love see me during the weekend. He said he wasn’t willing to wait until weekend to see me again. I said ok for the coming date and said we will talk about the weekend when we meet. I still need to make my opinion about him and see whether there is real attraction from my side.

Maybe I’m being naive ( i don’t think so) but I can’t make my idea on someone’s intention if I see them only once… he has been texting, and showing interest consistently this week, asked me out for next week and for the next weekend, saying he didn’t want to wait until next weekend to see me, that’s why he suggested we see each other also during the week. Wen I don’t text back immediately, he tries to reengage the conversation, which I assume would not be the case if interest was low. As I said, I don’t know him yet, and I will figure out his intentions when we meet in person. But so far, it seems ok.

I didn't say I would remind him of that. I AM the one reminding me. Who is playing game? and who is waisting time?? I'm not waisting my time, I just give it a chance to see if there is some potential. This is how dating goes. you meet people, see them once, twice or more and decide whether there is something to expect from it. So you mean dating is a waste of time... then I'd rather stay home with my cat and don't loose my time meeting all these guys. It might not go anywhere, but it also might... who knows?

I just said I don’t do last minute…

I don’t think so, I already told him i would like it, to see him again. Maybe he’s just waiting some days as he knows I won’t be available before next week. I’m being nice, gentle, showed him interest by giving his kiss back, I won’t do more. Also I remind what he said about not be willing to share anything right now, even if that was an excuse, I will remain cautious about him because of that. He is still texting consistently, replying to my texts in the minute but I will not give him more benefits for the moment. If he wants to see me he will arrange smth. If he does great, if not, I will just go on with my life.

He is aware, he knows both things

In fact I do not meet other potential dates this week as I'm saying home with my son every night after work, which also makes me more available to chat or text new potential ones. One exception on Wednesday, I always finish work too late and the kids stays at my moms for the night. Yesterday night, after work I went for a drink with a friend. That evening he asked if I had 5 minutes later to talk a bit. To which I replied one hour later that I was out.(I guess he felt asleep meanwhile) This morning 6am he asked why I didn't tell him to come see me (and he meant it seriously) We met 4 days ago (on Sunday) and he didn't make plan yet, but said more than once, "I hope you will be willing to see me again" or "I'm looking forward to see you again" or "I hope someday you will tell me you want to see me again" This makes me a bit uncomfortable. I'd rather he proposing a day or plan something or asking straight forward "when can I see you again"... What do you think?

I see… I don’t need a chat buddy in fact. But I think it would be to radical to say this now. Would be interpreted as me trying to get something from him now. I mean, who is not having 5 minutes a day just to respond to a text even in the restroom 😅 What I will do from now is just spacing more and if he gets irritated then I’ll explain I’m busy.

So you would rather tell him to stop texting until we meet? Because he feels to comfortable doing so? (Which i assume he does) If I tell him to stop texts, in a gentle way of course, that would be playing games… dont you think?

That for me was a way to assert the way he was feeling about you or find out whether there was a true compatibility because he was already considering you as “girlfriend potential” In the opposite, I don’t think a man who sees a woman in a casual way or not being enough attracted to in the first place would change his mind about any potential in time. It’s rather there or not.

8 month! Thats a long time. Me and my coworker have been flirting etc for about 5 month now, and I don't think someday he will find the courage to move it further. Thats something im still having in a corner of my mind but unfortunately can't expect anything from. This arm touching should be considered as a green light for men to ask a woman out or to make a move. As I said, I don't ask guys out, only when they ask when I will be free again I propose a day to meet. What I do, I try to give them enough (not too much) signs of interest. Like this one guy, the other night I slightly touched his leg when we were laughing (we were sitting next to each other on a little sofa at that bar) That was the moment, he said afterwards, he wanted me closer or lay his hand on my back. Even with this obvious sign of interest, my hand on his leg, he didn't make the move but waited until very last minute to do so with the kiss. Also I think I can recognize signs of attraction in first minutes. It's in the way they look at you and face you while speaking, its also in the way they turn their body towards you (for instance on that sofa, he was completely leaning in) you can sense those things, even with shy guys. I met a guy once who wouldn't look at me while speaking, and that for me was a complete turn off even if he invited me to another date the day after that and said he liked me, I could feel something was wrong.(and I was right btw) But attraction (or the impression of it) can also be the relief you feel after spending some minutes with the person. You get nervous about meeting that person, and once you feel more comfortable, you can easily mistake it for attraction. Someone also said once that guys make their opinion about women in the very first seconds. they know whether they will be girlfriend material for them or just hock-up so to speak. What do you think? (I suggest you guys answer to that question, that would be helpful for me... )

You suggest I arrange a date? It's not my opinion. I'm being kind, replying to his texts, sometimes right away sometime within minutes, two hours or so, depends of what i'm doing. I already told him I was a bad texter when we first met. He knows it. I also mentioned that I wanted to take things slow. Yesterday he asked again about our meet, trying to figure out whether I was attracted to him and I indirectly made him understand I was to make him relax a little. I think he is really shy. He said for instance he had been willing to lay his hand on my back or have me closer to him while having our last drink but that he was too shy to do so. When we parted that night, we hugged and I went my way. He watched me leave, called after me to come back to him. And only then, he kissed me. I will not play games, I will just go at my own pace and with caution according to fact he said he is not ready to share with anyone... Also he knows next week I won't be with my kid, if he wants to see me again he will have to ask me out, I won't do more for now.

I’m not trying to do this, but in my experience, guys I have been dating tended to text every day or every two days. Idk what part of the world you live, but here in Switzerland this is how we usually keep in touch. Also I forgot to mention about the options I can get through dating apps, i live in a very small town, and there are not hundreds of single good guys to meet through dating apps. Maybe also the reason why when we find someone we are attracted to we try harder to make it work. IMO

I think I lost you when I mentionned this « drama » thing 😅 What I mean by progress is in the pace, and the content of his texts. He is waiting for my replies and doesn’t doubles texts each time. And also he is asking more profound things about me, not flirting that much as he maybe understood I wasn’t responsive to that kind of texts. I although told him that I’m willing to learn to know each other in person, and he agreed. But still, looks like he has many questions to ask. We exchanged about 20 texts since the morning, which is completely fine for me. I would not want more…

Yeah I think this is what’s happening here. He tried to flirt yesterday and me not responding, or in a distant way, I think he realized that it wasn’t the kind of discussions I wanted. Today it was more about knowing me better and making assumption or wondering whether im willing to see him again. I tried to space my texts a bit more and he went up to 4 hours without double texting. Which is a progress…😅

Yes, exactly. I dont like the texting very much it’s full of presumptions and missunderstanding. For instance tonight he tried to flirt on text a bit and I didn’t reply. He double texted… (tomorrow I will pretend I fell asleep) I will not see him this weekend as I will be with my kid (he knows it) and I don’t want him to try to move on the texting into flirting as i am not there yet. Tomorrow I will try to make things clear, gently…

We have been talking about past relationships yesterday and for what he said, he mentioned his ex wife (divorced for 10 years now) she cheated on him twice, which is why he left. He also said he had a few relationships since but nothing really serious, or at least didn’t live with anyone. He didn’t mention a recent girlfriend or anything. I guess he lives alone bc he has been texting since he came home from work, and always replies in the minute to my texts… Maybe you are right. And someday I will found he is in fact engaged or in love with someone… that’s why I will remain suspicious about him…

Even if that was the case, that he was dumped for instance, is it a big deal if he shows interest through the time? I mean I also got disappointed lately by someone I really liked and wasn’t sure about willing to meet new guys. But doing so also helps me go through this disappointment. And with time I think less and less about him. I just need to fall in love with someone else. If really he wasn’t ready to date again or was broken-hearted, he would not have come yesterday and show so much interest… don’t you think?

I don’t think he is in a relationship. Yesterday he mentioned many things according to him being single, like lately he went to the movies for first time alone and it was weird to him, also that he planned to go on a 4 day trip with his friends in summer and that he didn’t felt like going on a trip alone yet. He told me he likes going for long walks alone or go motorcycling. He told me about his last weekends and daily habits. with whom he is and what he was doing etc… I don’t know…

I never experienced a bad first meet. They always showed up and it always went well, attraction was always present as I try to only meet guy I’m attracted to physically and with good conversation. I met about 10 or 12 guys last year and it always went well. Like talking a lot and almost always exchanging kiss at the end (if not on first meet, I always got a kiss on the second one) The trouble is more after the first meet or first date when I see inconsistency or flakinesses… if someone flakes on me once, I give benefit of the doubt, but second time I cut off. Also I met many guys pretending they look for something serious only to find out it was not the case…

Since this morning he is texting in a casual way, making some jokes, he also sent me a pic of him at work and asked me to send a pic of me also. I would rather him saying he enjoyed the night and ask me to see him again. I do not respond immediately to his texts, he begins double texting when I don’t respond. for the moment it’s ok I will go on with the discussion as I don’t work today. But I know I won’t be able to do it for the coming days as I have busy weeks at work and I get bored soon with the texting thing… how can I make him understand I will not be willing to text the whole day every days?(mostly if he doesn’t ask me out again) Should I just answer in my pace to make him understand I’m not as available…? (I use to respond to texts after 2 or 3 hours as I often have meetings at work)

I know, that’s exactly why I will not have to many expectations about this guy. I’ll give him a chance to show who he is through his behavior, but meanwhile i will still date other people. I’m not trying to make excuses for his wishy washy style, but he told me being very shy with women. Like being able to sit at a bar for 3 hours without ever find the courage to approach a girl he is attracted to… he is strange case haha

Hi, I do get many likes on my profile but I don’t alow many guys to text me as I also have specific physical preferences. (In this app you have to like the person back to allow a conversation) I usually text with 3 or 4 guys on same time but remain with the most interesting one (I mean in conversation) I don’t text with the one looking for casual or hock up. I don’t think is a big deal showing fleaky when you don’t know the person. It’s just a picture and a name on a screen. The same goes for me. He had been dating for 10 years, and sometimes girls don’t showing up for first meets and he is 42. Maybe a bit tired of this process. He knows I’m staying with the kid until next week, so maybe he will arrange something for the weekend in two weeks. We will see. He texted me yesterday night, and this morning early. Also I think he might have stayed so long and kissed me on the go to try getting something more out of me yesterday. It’s a possibility, so I will try not to be to enthusiastic about him!

I finally met him tonight. I had a good time, he showed interest in me, leaning towards, making much eye contact, paid for diner and we talked a lot. He said the text this morning was because he was afraid of being disappointed or of me not liking him. Had nothing to do with him going through a heartbreak or something like that. He kissed me before leaving and said he had a good time and wants to see me again. So it’s all I expect for a first meeting. I will see how he behaves in the coming days. I like him but I will stay careful…